Best Tuning App Ever
MaddProfessor
“I've downloaded many tuning apps before and this one is by far the best. Easy to use, super user-friendly, and they have a bunch of fun different chords and songs to help you learn new music. I highly recommend.”
Cheese Emporium easy guitar chords by Monty Python
N/A•
Guitar
Tuning
E A D G B E
Capo
No capo
Capo
Transpose
0
Capo
G
Fm
Em
C
G
Fm
Em
C
Verse 1
G
Fm
Good morning. Morning,
Welcome to the National
Cheese Emporium.
Ah, thank you, my good man.
G
What can I do for you, sir?
Fm
Well, I was sitting in the public library
on Thurman Street just now,
skimming through Rogue Herries
by Hugh Walpole,
G
when I suddenly came over all peckish.
Fm
G
Peckish, sir? Assuriant. Eh?
Fm
Yeah, we're all hungry like.
Ah, hungry. In a nutshell.
And I thought to myself,
a little fermented curd will do the trick.
So, I curtailed my wall
G
-polling activities,
Fm
G
...sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance,
Fm
...to negotiate the vending
of some cheesy comestibles.
G
Come again?
I want to buy some cheese.
Fm
Oh, I thought you were complaining
about the bouzouki player.
Oh, heaven forbid!
G
I am one who delights
in all manifestations
of the Terpsichorean mules.
Sorry?
Ooh, I like a nice tune
you've forged, too.
So he can go on playing, can he?
Most certainly.
Now then, some cheese,
please, my good man.
Certainly, sir.
What would you like?
Well, how about a little Red Leicester?
I'm afraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester,
sir.
Oh, never mind.
How are you on Tilt -It?
I'm afraid we never have that
at the end of the week, sir.
We'll get it fresh on Monday.
Tish, tish. No matter.
Well, Stout Yeoman,
four ounces of Cafillia,
if you please.
Ah, it's been on order,
sir, for two weeks.
I was expecting it this morning.
It's not my lucky day, is it? Belfay, is it?
Sorry, sir. Red Windsor?
Normally, sir, yes.
Today, the van broke down.
Ah. Stilton?
Sorry. Emmental, Gruyere?
No. Any Norwegian Jarlsberger,
per chance?
No. Liptar?
No. Lancashire?
No. White Stilson?
No. Danish Brew?
No. Double Gloucester?
No. Cheshire?
No. Dorset Blue Vinny?
No. Brie, Roquefort, Pont -le -Vec, Port Salou,
Savoyard, St. Paula,
Carre de l 'Est,
Brest Bleu, Boursin?
No. Camembert, perhaps?
Ah, we have Camembert, yes.
You do? Excellent.
Yes, sir.
Em
G
It's a bit runny.
Oh, I like it runny.
Well, it's very runny, actually.
No matter.
Fetch hither the fromage
de la Belfrance.
I think it's a bit runnier
than you'll like it, sir.
I don't care how
fucking runny it is.
Hand it over with all speed.
Oh! What now?
The cat's eaten it. Pass it.
She's a... Gouda?
No. Edam?
No. Caseness?
Smoked Austrian?
No. Japanese sage darby?
No, sir.
You do have some cheese, do you?
Of course, sir.
It's a cheese shop, sir.
No, no, don't tell me.
I'm keen to guess.
Fair enough.
Er, Wensleydale? Yes.
Ah, well, I'll have some of that.
Oh, I thought you were talking to me,
sir.
C
Mr Wensleydale, that's my name.
G
Greek feta?
Er, not as such.
Er, gorgonzola?
No. Parmesan? Mozzarella?
No. Pepper crema?
Danish bimbo?
No. Czech sheep's milk?
No.
A Venezuelan beaver cheese?
Not today, sir. I know.
Ah, how about cheddar?
Well, we don't get much call for it
round here, sir.
Not much call?
It's the single most popular cheese
in the world.
It's round here, sir.
And what is the most popular
cheese round here?
Ilchester, sir. Is it?
Oh, yes, sir.
It's staggeringly popular in
this manor, sir.
Is it?
It's our number one best seller, sir. I see.
Uh, Ilchester, eh?
Right, sir. Right, eh?
Have you got any, he asked,
expecting the answer no.
I'll have a look, No.
It's not much of a cheese shop, is
it?
Finest in the district,
Explain the logic
underlying that conclusion, Clare.
Well, it's so cheap, sir.
It's certainly uncontaminated
by cheese.
Em
You haven't asked me about Limburger,
sir.
G
Is it worth it? Could be.
Have you...
Shut that bloody bazooka up!
Told you, sir.
Have you got any Limburger?
No. Figures.
Predictable,
really, I suppose.
was an act of purest optimism
to oppose the question
in the first place.
Tell me. Yes, sir?
Have you, in fact,
got any cheese here at all?
Yes, sir.
Really?
No, not really, sir.
You haven't? No, sir.
Not a scrap.
I was deliberately wasting
your time, sir.
Well, I'm sorry,
but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Right -o, sir.
What a senseless waste of human life.
How did you like the song?
You need to log in to leave a rating.
Learn to play Cheese Emporium by Monty Python with GuitarTuna
Master Cheese Emporium by Monty Python on guitar and explore 10000 tabs created by our verified editors.
Whether you're learning Cheese Emporium by Monty Python for the first time or perfecting your skills, GuitarTuna makes it easier to practice across guitar, bass and piano. Join 2 Million musicians already playing songs they love on GuitarTuna. Rated 4/5 on App Store.
Autoscroll20%
Join millions playing with GuitarTuna
- #1 Tuner
in AppStore & Google Play
- +
AppStore & Play rating
- M
Downloads worldwide
- k+
Songs available
Trusted by guitar players worldwide
Well-Designed App
Rose the Black Cat
“I mostly use this for tuning my guitar, which this app makes ridiculously easy. It also has a large selection of songs to play along to and it helps show you which chords to play as well how to make the shapes with your fingers.”
Got me back into playing
Tuliketsune
“I got this app to tune an old guitar, and noticed it has a feature that autoscrolls as I play chords to famous songs. For some reason, this was a lot more motivating for me than any other way of practicing guitar. Now I'm actually practicing and remembering the names of chords 🙂”
Secret weapon
Brad
“Not only is it a tuner (best app tuner I've used personally) but it also has a metronome, games, chords, and a plethora of instruments to choose from and it's SUPER easy to navigate. I love it! Thanks for making an awesome app. From one musician to another, THANKS!!!”
Very reliable tuner
theNewPaul
“This is a great app! Very easy to use and very reliable, if you are just starting out, you can take a big worry off your mind, by getting in tune quickly and easily with this app. Highly recommended!”
This is the best guitar tuner ever.
Caleb Schafli
“It tunes your guitar accurately so you can get the best sound. I like all the other little games as well because they teach you how to play different chords and you can learn to identify the chords by listening to them and it is all offline.”
Great to tune and play
Lynae T
“I love how easy it is to tune and find and play my favorite songs.”