Naval medley (penis song) chords by
Monty Python
Monty Python

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Key: G major
Intro 1
G
G

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C
C

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G
G

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Bb
Bb

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Bdim
Bdim

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G
G

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F
F

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A
A

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D
D

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G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Verse 1
C
C

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F
F

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Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
G
G

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And isn't it frightfully
C
C

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good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
F
F

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D
D

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It's divine to own a dick
A
A

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G
G

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From the tiniest little tadger
C
C

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To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your
F
F

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Dm
Dm

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Willy or John Thomas
G
G

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Hooray for your one-
C
C

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eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork,
your wife's best friend
F
F

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D
D

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Your Percy, or your cock
G
G

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You can wrap it up in ribbons
C
C

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You can slip it in your sock
Bb
Bb

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G
G

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But don't take it out in public
A
A

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D
D

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Or they will stick you in the dock
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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C
C

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Dm
Dm

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And you won't come back
C
C

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It's
Verse 2
Bb
Bb

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Gm
Gm

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Bb
Bb

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fun to own your own vagina
G
G

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F
F

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Bb
Bb

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G
G

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It's great to have your
C
C

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F
F

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friendly thatch
C
C

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F
F

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Your minge, your twat, your kitty cat
Cm
Cm

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F
F

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Gm
Gm

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Your nest, your nasty or your snatch
Bb
Bb

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Gm
Gm

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F
F

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Bb
Bb

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A
A

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It's great to have a monkey fur row
G
G

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F
F

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D
D

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Your finger pie,
G
G

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your lunchbox or your catch
Bb
Bb

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Bdim
Bdim

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Bm
Bm

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Your cameltoe, your bearded clam
F
F

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D
D

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Your bottom at the front
G
G

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your monkey minge
C
C

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Your muffin or your old Sir Berkely Hunt
Bb
Bb

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G
G

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Your honeypot, your hairy friend
A
A

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D
D

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But never call it "cunt"
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Or we won't come back
G
G

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C
C

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G
G

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F
F

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C
C

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Verse 3
C
C

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F
F

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Isn't it awfully nice to own a bottom
G
G

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C
C

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Is n't it frightfully good to have an arse
It's swell to own a tushy
F
F

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D
D

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It's divine to have a scut
G
G

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From the skinniest little buttocks
C
C

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To the worlds largest butt
F
F

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Three cheers for your posterior or anus
G
G

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C
C

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Hooray for your lovely sit- upon
Your fundament, your fanny
F
F

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Eb
Eb

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D
D

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Your cheeky little dear
G
G

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Your rump, your hauch, your hams
C
C

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Your stern, your fanny or your rear
Bb
Bb

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Bdim
Bdim

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But be careful how you handle
G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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It or you'll be caught, i fear
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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And you won't come back
Verse 4
F
F

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Company, by the rightdress!
Verse 5
Squad camp it hUP!
My goodness me
I am in a bad temper today, all right
Two, three, damn, damn
Two, three, I'm vexed and ratty
Two, three, and hopping mad,
stamp, stamp
Oooh, get her, whoops
I've got your number, ducky
Well, you couldn't afford me, dear, two
Three i'll scratch your eyes out,
two, three
Meow! Two, three
Don't come the rear admiral with us, dear
We all know where you've been
You royal naval fairy, two, three
Left, right, left, right
Mother's kissing us tonight
Whoops, don't look now, girls
The captain's just minced in with
A dolly little seaman, two, three
O- o- o ooh, two, three hello,
Outro 1
sailor!
Bb
Bb

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Bdim
Bdim

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Dm
Dm

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A
A

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D
D

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G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsG C Bb Bdim F...

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