Titties and Beer chords by 
Frank Zappa 
N/A•19 views•
Key: Gb major•
Verse 1
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C
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It
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was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
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I heard the scary wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
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'Long the side of me
I'm mean 'n I'm bad,
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why'know I ain't no sissy
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Got a big- titty girly by the
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name of Chrissy
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Talkin' about her 'n my
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bike 'n me . . .
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C
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery,
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mystery
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Verse 2
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Dm
I noticed even the crickets
Were actin' weird up here
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'N so I figured I might
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Just drink a little beer
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I said, "Gimme summa that
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what yer suckin' on . . . "
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But there was no reply
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'Cause she was gone . . .
Verse 3
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"Where's those titties I like so well,
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'n my goddamn beer!"
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Is what I started to yell,
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then I heard this noise
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Like a crunchin' twig,
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'n up jumped the Devil . . .
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He's about this big . . .
Verse 4
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He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
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An' then a pointed tail
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'N like a sulphur reek
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Yes, it was him alright,
I sweared I knowed it was
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He had some human flesh
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Stuck underneath his claws
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Y'know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
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I said, "You son of a bitch!"
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'Cause I was mad at him,
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Dm
Well he just got out his floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
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So I shot him with my shooter,
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Said: BANG BANG BANG
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Then the suck
Verse 5
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er just laughed
'n said:
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Bozzio: Oh, put it away . . .
You know, I ate her all up . . . now
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what you gonna say?
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Frank: You ate my
Chrissy?
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Bozzio: Titties 'n all!
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Frank: Well, what about the beer then,
boy?
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Bozzio: Ah . . . Were the cans this tall?
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Frank: Even her boots?
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Bozzio: Would I lie to you?
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Frank: Shit,
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you musta been hungry!
Bozzio: Yes, this is true.
Frank: Don't they pay you good
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For the stuff that you do?
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Bozzio: Well, you know
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I can't complain when the checks
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come through . . .
Frank: Well I want my Chrissy,
'N I want my beer
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So you just barf it back up
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Now, Devil, do you hear?
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Bozzio: Blow it out your ass,
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motorcycle man!
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I mean, I am the Devil,
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Do you un derstand?
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Just what will you give me for your
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Titties and beer?
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I suppose you noticed this
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little contract here . . .
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Frank: Yer goddam right, you
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Son- of- a- whore
Bozzio: Don't call me that!
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Frank: That's about the only reas
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on I learned writin' for . . .
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Gimme that paper . . . bet
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yer ass I will sign . . .
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Because I need a beer,
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'N it's titty- squeez
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in' time!
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Bozzio: Man, you can't fool me
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. . . you ain't that bad . . .
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I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls
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that I've had . . .
Frank: Oh, yeah?
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Bozzio: Why there was Mil
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hous Nixon 'n Agnew, too . . .
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'N both of those suckers was
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worse 'n you . . .
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Frank: Well, let's make a deal
if you think that's true
Dm
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I mean,
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you're the Devil so . . .
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Whatcha gonna do?
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Bozzio: Wait a minute . . . a tinge of doubt
Verse 6
crosses my mind when
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you say that you want to make a deal with me . . .
Frank: That's very,
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very true . . .
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Bozzio: Wait . . . you ain't supposed to want
to make a deal with me
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G
Frank: Ah, but I'm slightly different than your av erage customer,
Devil . . .
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Bozzio: But, wait . . . but most people don't want
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to make a deal with me . . . Wha . . .
Frank: Yeah . . .
Bozzio: What's your story?
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D
Frank: Well, most people are afraid of you, see? They don't know how stupid you are . . . I happen
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to know that you jack off to a picture of Punky Meadows when you get home . . .
Bozzio: Grrarh . . . Stupid
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. . . Grrarh . . .
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Frank: You know . . . ever since that guy told you that he contained more fluid than Jeff Beck you've been tryin' to outdo him . . . Awright, look, I'm gonna say one thing to you . . . this may not register right away, but let me say this . . . leave your pickle alone for a couple of nights, you know what I mean . . . ? Now, come on! I'm only interested in a couple of things . . . (Wait, is that a note for me? Is somebody passing me a note? What does this say . . . ? "Frank,
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C
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please do me a favour, I can't find a brother of mine, I could dig it if you could call him from stage. His name is Dirty Tom Nomads M.C.," signed "Thanks, Bear" or "Bean," I can't tell . . . Well, if he's out there . . . Dirty Tony De La Nomads M.C. get in touch with Bean or Bear . . .) And as I was sayin', Devil, I'm an average sort of a person, I'm . . . you wouldn't believe it, but . . . I'm very much like the people here in this audience tonight . . .
Bozzio: What?
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Frank: I think we definitely have
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something in common . . .
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Bozzio: Wait a minute, I thought you had funny things growing in your hair an d all that
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other stuff . . . I thought . . . write weird music, you know, I thought . . .
Frank: Listen . . .
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Bozzio: . . . biker and everything, I mean,
shit, you know?
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Frank: . . . listen carefully
. . .
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Bozzio: . . . big titty chic that you just had out here with the camera,
I mean, you know . . .
Frank: Listen carefully to me,
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oh, Devil . . .
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Terry: Uh- huh . . .
Frank: I'm only interested
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in two things
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Bozzio: Yeah . . .
Frank: See if you can
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guess what they are
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Bozzio: I would think . . . uh . . . let's see,
maybe . . . uh . . .
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Frank: Well, I'll give you . . .
Bozzio: Stravinsky
. . . and, uh . . .
Frank: I'll give you two
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clues . . .
Bozzio: . . . let's see . . . uh . . .
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Frank: Let go of your pickle
Bozzio: What?
Frank: Let go of your pickle!
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Bozzio: I'm not holding
my pickle
Frank: Well, who's
holding your pickle then?
C
Bozzio: I don't know . . . ha! She's out in the audience . . . Hey, Dale,
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would you like to come up here and hold my pickle to satisfy this weird man out here on the stage?
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Frank: You're probably wondering why we
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call it a pickle . . .
Ray: Ha ha ha!
Bozzio: Oh, no . . .
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Dm
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Frank: I don't . . . I hate . . . I hate to squeal on you, Bozzio, I mean,
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Devil . . . but, look, I'm only interested in two things . . .
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Bozzio: Now, wait a minute . . . all I have to say is God help me! . . . Even
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though I have this . . . this fucking mask on . . .
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Frank: Ha ha ha ha ha . . . ! Listen, if you think that mask looks bad,
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you oughta see his pickle . . . I'm only interested in two things, that's titties and beer, you know what I mean?
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Bozzio: What?
Frank: Yeah . . .
Bozzio: Titties and beer?
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Frank: Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer,
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titties and beer, titties and beer, titties an d beer . . .
Bozzio: (Growling) Whoa, I don't know
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if you're the right guy!
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Frank: . . . titties and beer, titties and beer,
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D
titties and beer . . .
Verse 7
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Bozzio: No! Don't sign it! Give
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me time to think . . .
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I mean . . .
Frank: Alright!
Bozzio: Hold on a second, boy . . .
'Cause that's Magic Ink!
Verse 8
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Frank:And then the Devil
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C
let go of his pickle
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C
'N out jumped m'girl
They heard the titties PLOP- PLOPPIN'
C
All around the world, she said:
Dm
D
"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N
A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
Dm
AN' I'M GONNA GET RIPPED,
SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!"
Dm
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C
Then she gave us the finger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
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That's when the Devil, he farted
An' she went right over the cliff
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Dm
(Whoa . . . Tinsel
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Time!)
Dm
Well, the Devil was mad
I took off to my pad
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I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
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I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
Dm
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I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
Dm
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I swear I do declare!
Dm
How did she get back there?
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I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
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I swear I do de . . .
Verse 9
Dm
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D
Dm
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D
Dm
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Alright, Well, yeah, that's enough of the Devil and his famous pickle, we're going to make another dramatic,
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if... if, somewhat... rickety segue into another song called Cruising for Burgers, wait a minute...
Outro 1
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C
Dm
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Dm
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Dm
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Frequently asked questions
What is the original key of Titties and Beer?
The original key of Titties and Beer by Frank Zappa is Gb major.
What are the main chords for Titties and Beer?
The primary chords used in Titties and Beer are Gb, Cb, Fb, Gbm.
Do I need a capo to play Titties and Beer?
To play in the original key, place your capo on the 4 fret.
Is Titties and Beer beginner-friendly on guitar?
Yes, this version uses open chords like Gb, Cb, Fb, Gbm, making it a great song for beginner guitarists.
What is the tempo (BPM) of Titties and Beer?
The tempo of Titties and Beer is approximately 130 beats per minute.
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