Professor chords by
Monte Selby
Monte Selby

N/A
Key: C major
Verse 1
C
C

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All right, somebody play something
F
F

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C
C

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Dbdim
Dbdim

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C
C

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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G
G

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You can find me at work high
C
C

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in my ivory tower
Every Tuesday and Thursday
G
G

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C
C

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during a few office hours
G
G

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F
F

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if my door is open and I have time to talk,
G
G

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I'll offer free advice
from way up on my soapbox.
C
C

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I love to gaze over my glasses
F
F

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during a good long lecture,
C
C

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intellectualizing theories
and making profound looking gestures.
F
F

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But today I'm at a conference
C
C

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where I will present a paper
F
F

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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attended only by colleagues
G
G

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who owe me a favor.
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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F
F

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Elementary teachers
love their children,
it's easy to see.
Cm
Cm

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C
C

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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High school instructors
love the subjects they teach
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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But here at the college
Dm
Dm

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I know it all so well
G
G

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F
F

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This professor's learned to
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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love just one thing
Eb
Eb

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C
C

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Gm
Gm

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Myself
C
C

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It's publish or perish
to get one's self promoted
G
G

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C
C

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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So I learned how to speak
like a book being quoted
F
F

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Dm
Dm

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F
F

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I survived peer review
Dm
Dm

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F
F

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by the most scholarly
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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Even if I write articles
G
G

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Gm
Gm

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only my mother will read.
C
C

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Edim
Edim

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Gm
Gm

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My research is so dis tinguished
C
C

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Dm
Dm

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only a few can comprehend
C
C

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the significant implications
I so articulately defend.
F
F

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I'll have a mega grant
C
C

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Cm
Cm

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F
F

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Eb
Eb

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that leads to a Nobel Prize.
C
C

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F
F

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Dm
Dm

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Look for my front page feature photo
C
C

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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in the New York Times.
C
C

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F
F

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Elementary teachers love
their children,
Cm
Cm

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it's easy to see.
Eb
Eb

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C
C

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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High school instructors
Edim
Edim

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C
C

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love the subjects they teach.
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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Ah, but here at the college,
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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I know it all so well.
F
F

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These professors learn to
Eb
Eb

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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love just one thing.
C
C

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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Myself!
Oh, these young grad assistants,
C
C

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G
G

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they are a treasure to find.
C
C

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For their scholarship money,
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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they'll teach courses I des pise.
Eb
Eb

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I never go hungry,
C
C

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F
F

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they feed my ego each day
Dm
Dm

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Now I'm expecting my own personal
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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parking space
F
F

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Elementary teachers love their children
Cm
Cm

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F
F

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and it's easy to see
C
C

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High school instructors
love the subjects they teach
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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C
C

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But here at the college I know it all so well
F
F

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Eb
Eb

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F
F

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This professor's learned to
Dm
Dm

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C
C

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love just one thing
F
F

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C
C

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F
F

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C
C

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Oh, don't you know,
G
G

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here at the college I know it all so well
F
F

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This professor's learned to
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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love just one thing
G
G

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My grandiose, lovable, stuffy, infallible,
Eb
Eb

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F
F

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C
C

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full of my all -important, perfect self
Outro 1
I
C
C

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Eb
Eb

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Edim
Edim

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C
C

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsC F Dbdim Edim G...

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