No no no chords by
Ivor Biggun
Ivor Biggun
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N/A
Key: G major
Intro 1
Bbm
Bbm

Fm
Fm

Gb
Gb

B
B

Ab
Ab

Db
Db

At
Verse 1
Ab
Ab

the appliance shop,
I bought a filthy book,
Db
Db

Ab
Ab

Locked in the lav,
I had a bloody good look.
There was a naked nude lady
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Db

Ab
Ab

and a man dressed the same,
Doing something very rude
with a funny foreign name.
Db
Db

I think it was called Ferretilio,
Ab
Ab

which is Spanish for blowing a bugle.
Gb
Gb

Ab
Ab

I went round to me girlfriend's house,
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Db

Ab
Ab

but she said, Oh, that's not very nice,
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Gb

Ab
Ab

and I don't want to know.
So I tactfully said,
Db
Db

Ab
Ab

forget that it's a cock,
Pretend you're at the seaside,
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Gb

Ab
Ab

and it's a stick of rock.
Bbm
Bbm

Db
Db

Bbm
Bbm

Fm
Fm

But she said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
Db
Db

Fm
Fm

Gb
Gb

I could never,
B
B

never do a filthy thing like that.
Ab
Ab

Adim
Adim

Bbm
Bbm

Db
Db

Fm
Fm

She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
Gb
Gb

I could never,
B
B

Ab
Ab

Adim
Adim

never do a filthy thing like that.
Bbm
Bbm

Fm
Fm

Gb
Gb

She said it was called Ferratilorainio,
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B

and was named after an
Ab
Ab

Db
Db

Italian racing driver.
Ab
Ab

Well, I filled her up with whiskey
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Ab
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and I filled her up with gin
but she still wouldn't do it
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Gb

Ab
Ab

cos she said it was a sin.
I even had a bath,
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Ab
Ab

but the answer was the same
she wouldn't do the thing
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Gb

Ab
Ab

with the funny foreign name.
It was called something
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Ab
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like ferret in the ruleo.
I said it'd protect her from tonsillitis
but she wouldn't swallow that.
Bbm
Bbm

Db
Db

Fm
Fm

She said, no, no, no, that's flat.
Db
Db

Fm
Fm

Gb
Gb

I could never,
B
B

never do a filthy thing like that.
Ab
Ab

Bbm
Bbm

Db
Db

Bbm
Bbm

Fm
Fm

She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
Db
Db

Gb
Gb

I could never,
B
B

Ab
Ab

never do a filthy thing like that
Next day a man in a hat
Db
Db

Ab
Ab

came knocking at the door
He said, You've earned the pause,
half a million or more
With the cheque in me pocket
Db
Db

to me girlfriend's house
Ab
Ab

Db
Db

I ran to see if she was still a vegetarian
Ab
Ab

I said, did she remember
Db
Db

what a silly girl she'd been
Ab
Ab

Db
Db

Ab
Ab

About the sword swallowing
in that funny magazine
I said, would she refuse me
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Db

Ab
Ab

and treat me with disdain
Db
Db

Ab
Ab

Regarding the activity
with the funny foreign knight
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Bbm

Db
Db

Fm
Fm

But she said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
Db
Db

Gb
Gb

B
B

I could never refuse to do a thing like that
Ab
Ab

Bbm
Bbm

Db
Db

Fm
Fm

Db
Db

She said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
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Gb

I could never refuse to do
B
B

Ab
Ab

a thing like that
Yum, yum, yum!
Ha ha ha!
Yum, yum, yum!
Cm
Cm

BELLS CHIMING PIANO PLAYS
Db
Db

Eb
Eb

Mr Falleggio, the ice -cream man.
Ab
Ab

Cm
Cm

Hear him jingle -jangle
Db
Db

Eb
Eb

Ab
Ab

Mr. Fel
Gb
Gb

latio,
Cm
Cm

Db
Db

Ab
Ab

B
B

all the children say hello to Mr. Fellatio,
Db
Db

Eb
Eb

Ab
Ab

the Ice Cream Man.
Badoom, badoom, badoom, bam!
That's where Trump's coming!
Cm
Cm

And then he's got Ronettes,
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Db

and Jordanaires,
Eb
Eb

and Street Section,
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Ab

Cm
Cm

and Philborough Colliery Band!
Oh, it's going to be great!
Db
Db

It's going to be wonderful!
Eb
Eb

Absolutely wonderful!
Can't wait, lads!
Ab
Ab

Oh, it's going to be bloody great!

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsBbm Fm Gb B Ab...

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