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No no no easy guitar chords by 
Ivor Biggun
N/A•
Intro 1
Am
Em
F
Bb
G
C
At
Verse 1
G
the appliance shop,
I bought a filthy book,
C
G
Locked in the lav,
I had a bloody good look.
There was a naked nude lady
C
G
and a man dressed the same,
Doing something very rude
with a funny foreign name.
C
I think it was called Ferretilio,
G
which is Spanish for blowing a bugle.
F
G
I went round to me girlfriend's house,
C
G
but she said, Oh, that's not very nice,
F
G
and I don't want to know.
So I tactfully said,
C
G
forget that it's a cock,
Pretend you're at the seaside,
F
G
and it's a stick of rock.
Am
C
Am
Em
But she said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
C
Em
F
I could never,
Bb
never do a filthy thing like that.
G
Abdim
Am
C
Em
She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
F
I could never,
Bb
G
Abdim
never do a filthy thing like that.
Am
Em
F
She said it was called Ferratilorainio,
Bb
and was named after an
G
C
Italian racing driver.
G
Well, I filled her up with whiskey
C
G
and I filled her up with gin
but she still wouldn't do it
F
G
cos she said it was a sin.
I even had a bath,
C
G
but the answer was the same
she wouldn't do the thing
F
G
with the funny foreign name.
It was called something
C
G
like ferret in the ruleo.
I said it'd protect her from tonsillitis
but she wouldn't swallow that.
Am
C
Em
She said, no, no, no, that's flat.
C
Em
F
I could never,
Bb
never do a filthy thing like that.
G
Am
C
Am
Em
She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
C
F
I could never,
Bb
G
never do a filthy thing like that
Next day a man in a hat
C
G
came knocking at the door
He said, You've earned the pause,
half a million or more
With the cheque in me pocket
C
to me girlfriend's house
G
C
I ran to see if she was still a vegetarian
G
I said, did she remember
C
what a silly girl she'd been
G
C
G
About the sword swallowing
in that funny magazine
I said, would she refuse me
C
G
and treat me with disdain
C
G
Regarding the activity
with the funny foreign knight
Am
C
Em
But she said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
C
F
Bb
I could never refuse to do a thing like that
G
Am
C
Em
C
She said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
F
I could never refuse to do
Bb
G
a thing like that
Yum, yum, yum!
Ha ha ha!
Yum, yum, yum!
Bm
BELLS CHIMING PIANO PLAYS
C
D
Mr Falleggio, the ice -cream man.
G
Bm
Hear him jingle -jangle
C
D
G
Mr. Fel
F
latio,
Bm
C
G
Bb
all the children say hello to Mr. Fel latio,
C
D
G
the Ice Cream Man.
Badoom, badoom, badoom, bam!
That's where Trump's coming!
Bm
And then he's got Ronettes,
C
and Jordanaires,
D
and Street Section,
G
Bm
and Philborough Colliery Band!
Oh, it's going to be great!
C
It's going to be wonderful!
D
Absolutely wonderful!
Can't wait, lads!
G
Oh, it's going to be bloody great!
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