No no no chords by
Ivor Biggun
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N/A

Key: G major

Intro 1

Verse 1
G G 
 
the appliance shop,
I bought a filthy book,
C C 
 
G G 
 
Locked in the lav,
I had a bloody good look.
There was a naked nude lady
C C 
 
G G 
 
and a man dressed the same,
Doing something very rude
with a funny foreign name.
C C 
 
I think it was called Ferretilio,
G G 
 
which is Spanish for blowing a bugle.
F F 
 
G G 
 
I  went round to me girlfriend's house,
C C 
 
G G 
 
but she said, Oh, that's not very nice,
F F 
 
G G 
 
and I don't want to know.
So I tactfully said,
C C 
 
G G 
 
forget that it's a cock,
Pretend you're at the seaside,
F F 
 
G G 
 
and it's a stick of rock.
Am Am 
 
C C 
 
Am Am 
 
Em Em 
 
But she said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
C C 
 
Em Em 
 
F F 
 
I   could never,
Bb Bb 
 
never do a filthy thing like that.
G G 
 
Abdim Abdim 
 
Am Am 
 
C C 
 
Em Em 
 
She said,    No, no, no, no, that's flat.
F F 
 
I could never,
Bb Bb 
 
G G 
 
Abdim Abdim 
 
never do a filthy thing like that.
Am Am 
 
Em Em 
 
F F 
 
She said it was called Ferratilorainio,
Bb Bb 
 
and was named after an
G G 
 
C C 
 
Italian racing driver.
G G 
 
Well, I filled her up with whiskey
C C 
 
G G 
 
and I filled her up with gin
but she still wouldn't do it
F F 
 
G G 
 
cos she said it was a sin.
I even had a bath,
C C 
 
G G 
 
but the answer was the same
she wouldn't do the thing
F F 
 
G G 
 
with the funny foreign name.
It was called something
C C 
 
G G 
 
like ferret in the ruleo.
I said it'd protect her from tonsillitis
but she wouldn't swallow that.
Am Am 
 
C C 
 
Em Em 
 
She said, no, no, no, that's flat.
C C 
 
Em Em 
 
F F 
 
I   could never,
Bb Bb 
 
never do a filthy thing like that.
G G 
 
Am Am 
 
C C 
 
Am Am 
 
Em Em 
 
She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
C C 
 
F F 
 
I  could never,
Bb Bb 
 
G G 
 
never do a filthy thing like that
Next day a man in a hat
C C 
 
G G 
 
came knocking at the door
He said, You've earned the pause,
half a million or more
With the cheque in me pocket
C C 
 
to me girlfriend's house
G G 
 
C C 
 
I  ran to see if she was still a vegetarian
G G 
 
I  said, did she remember
C C 
 
what a silly girl she'd been
G G 
 
C C 
 
G G 
 
About the sword swallowing
in that funny magazine
I said, would she refuse me
C C 
 
G G 
 
and treat me with disdain
C C 
 
G G 
 
Regarding the activity
with the funny foreign knight
Am Am 
 
C C 
 
Em Em 
 
But she said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
C C 
 
F F 
 
Bb Bb 
 
I  could never refuse to do a thing like that
G G 
 
Am Am 
 
C C 
 
Em Em 
 
C C 
 
She said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
F F 
 
I could never refuse to do
Bb Bb 
 
G G 
 
a thing like that
Yum, yum, yum!
Ha ha ha!
Yum, yum, yum!
Bm Bm 
 
BELLS CHIMING PIANO PLAYS
C C 
 
D D 
 
Mr Falleggio, the ice -cream man.
G G 
 
Bm Bm 
 
Hear him jingle -jangle
C C 
 
D D 
 
G G 
 
Mr. Fel
F F 
 
latio,
Bm Bm 
 
C C 
 
G G 
 
Bb Bb 
 
all the children say hello to Mr. Fel latio,
C C 
 
D D 
 
G G 
 
the Ice Cream Man.
Badoom, badoom, badoom, bam!
That's where Trump's coming!
Bm Bm 
 
And then he's got Ronettes,
C C 
 
and Jordanaires,
D D 
 
and Street Section,
G G 
 
Bm Bm 
 
and Philborough Colliery Band!
Oh, it's going to be great!
C C 
 
It's going to be wonderful!
D D 
 
Absolutely wonderful!
Can't wait, lads!
G G 
 
Oh, it's going to be bloody great!

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TunerE A D G B E

ChordsAm Em F Bb G...

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