If I Ruled The World chords by
Christine Lavin

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Key: F major
Verse 1
D D 
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A A 
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If I  ruled the world,
G G 
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I  would dream up inventions.
A A 
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I'd throw out the rules, disregard
G G 
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all conventions.
A A 
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D D 
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I'd make this world happy
G G 
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and peaceful and bright.
A A 
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And all of us would sleep
G G 
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D D 
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much better at night.
First thing I'd demand
G G 
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would be a car alarm.
A A 
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G G 
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Easy to install, but hard to disarm.
A A 
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D D 
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It would be silent on streets,
G G 
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and in parking lots instead
A A 
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G G 
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It would only go off in the car
D D 
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owner's bed
G G 
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Really, nobody else needs to be woken up
A A 
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Just cause somebody's walking
a teensy bit too close to your car
D D 
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I want a fast forward button
G G 
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For those boring times when spending
A A 
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hours with knuckleheads
G G 
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Drives you out of your mind
A A 
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D D 
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Simply point it and zap them
G G 
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Zip right to the end of
A A 
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their dull observations
G G 
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and her leaving,
A A 
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D D 
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but then I'd like a slow motion button
G G 
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to make good times last,
A A 
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and slow down some boyfriends
G G 
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A A 
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who still go too fast.
D D 
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Kisses would be sweeter,
G G 
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hugs more healing,
A A 
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would come in handy when making gravy,
G G 
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D D 
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keep those lumps from congealing.
F#m F#m 2
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I'd invent something for   one
D D 
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Bm Bm 2
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of those awkward attacks
E E 
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when you leave a stupid message on
A A 
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voicemail and you can't take it back,
F#m F#m 2
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Simply click and rewind for
Bm Bm 2
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quite a brilliant remark
E E 
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That will impress the collie and
A A 
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E E 
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A A 
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perhaps win his heart
D D 
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Oh, I  wish I had an alarm
G G 
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on each shoe
A A 
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That would beep if I was about
G G 
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A A 
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to step in dog dew
D D 
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And  for maybe just a
G G 
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slightly higher sum
A A 
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It would bang if my shoe was
G G 
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D D 
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near moist bubblegum
G G 
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A A 
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Really, if they can tell you that a hurricane is 500 miles away,
couldn't they tell you
that an itsy bitsy little natural disaster
is just two inches from your foot?
D D 
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G G 
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I'd want a buzzer on my mirror that will warn
A A 
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G G 
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if my hair is a horrible mess, or if I need
A A 
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an air.
D D 
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The deluxe model will have a
G G 
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speaker that shouts,
A A 
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Lock the doors, bolt the windows,
G G 
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D D 
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you can't leave the house!
F#m F#m 2
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I want a censor in    the ladies
Bm Bm 2
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room that discreetly knows
E E 
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When you've tucked your dress
A A 
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into your pantyhose
F#m F#m 2
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This happened to me in
Bm Bm 2
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a really fancy place
E E 
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You should have seen the look
A A 
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E E 
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A A 
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D D 
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on the maitre d's face
G G 
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It was that sign of the dove in
Manhattan
A A 
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I'll never forget it
D D 
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Everybody was staring at me as I was walking across the floor,
G G 
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and I didn't know why!
Bm Bm 2
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F#m F#m 2
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But I'm telling you, if I ruled the world,
G G 
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humiliating things like this wouldn't happen anymore.
A A 
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Wouldn't this be a better place
Bm Bm 2
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for all of us to live in?
I'm sure the diners at
F#m F#m 2
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Sign  of the
Dove would agree.
D D 
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G G 
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Now, here are some of my more
A A 
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E E 
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A A 
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modest inventions.
D D 
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I'd invent an umbrella with a
G G 
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strong bracelet attached.
A A 
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You'd never lose it,
G G 
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and it would come in handy if you're ever in a subway attack.
A A 
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D D 
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A detector that tells you
G G 
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what's in the cracker jack box.
A A 
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An extra five minutes on
G G 
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A A 
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all of our clocks.
D D 
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Every country would drive on the
G G 
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same side of the street.
A A 
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I'd remove all cholesterol
G G 
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A A 
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from all of our meat.
D D 
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Children would volunteer
G G 
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to take naps.
A A 
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People like me would understand
G G 
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D D 
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how to read maps.
F#m F#m 2
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I'd invent a satellite catcher
Bm Bm 2
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for that inevitable day
E E 
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When your 500 million dollar
A A 
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E E 
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spacecraft just floats away
A A 
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F#m F#m 2
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A video camera that could
D D 
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Bm Bm 2
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tape record your dreams
E E 
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I'd invent a 100 %  natural, yet luscious,
A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A A 
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yet nonfat, and so yummy ice cream
D D 
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If I  ruled the world,
G G 
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I would make these inventions
A A 
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And then think up more at
G G 
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invention conventions
A A 
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D D 
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But I don't rule the world,
G G 
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so we'll have
to make do
A A 
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G G 
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With the annoying situations we all
Bm Bm 2
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muddle through
Outro 1
F#m
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