If I Ruled The World chords by 
Christine Lavin 
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Key: F major•
Verse 1
F
C
If I ruled the world,
Bb
I would dream up inventions.
C
I'd throw out the rules, disregard
Bb
all conventions.
C
F
I'd make this world happy
Bb
and peace ful and bright.
C
And all of us would sleep
Bb
F
much bet ter at night.
First thing I'd demand
Bb
would be a car alarm.
C
Bb
Easy to install, but hard to dis arm.
C
F
It would be si lent on streets,
Bb
and in parking lots instead
C
Bb
It would only go off in the car
F
owner's bed
Bb
Really, nobody else needs to be woken up
C
Just cause somebody's walking
a teensy bit too close to your car
F
I want a fast forward button
Bb
For those boring times when spending
C
hours with knuckleheads
Bb
Drives you out of your mind
C
F
Simply point it and zap them
Bb
Zip right to the end of
C
their dull observations
Bb
and her leav ing,
C
F
but then I'd like a slow motion button
Bb
to make good times last,
C
and slow down some boyfriends
Bb
C
who still go too fast.
F
Kisses would be sweeter,
Bb
hug s more healing,
C
would come in handy when making gravy,
Bb
F
keep those lumps from congeal ing.
Am
I'd invent something for one
F
Dm
of those awkward attacks
G
when you leave a stu pid message on
C
voicemail and you can't take it back,
Am
Simply click and rewind for
Dm
quite a brilliant remark
G
That will im press the collie and
C
G
C
per haps win his heart
F
Oh, I wish I had an alarm
Bb
on each shoe
C
That would beep if I was about
Bb
C
to step in dog dew
F
An d for maybe just a
Bb
slightly higher sum
C
It would bang if my shoe was
Bb
F
near moist bubblegum
Bb
C
Really, if they can tell you that a hurricane is 500 miles away,
couldn't they tell you
that an itsy bitsy little natural disaster
is just two inches from your foot?
F
Bb
I'd want a buzzer on my mirror that will warn
C
Bb
if my hair is a horrible mess, or if I need
C
an air .
F
The deluxe model will have a
Bb
speak er that shouts,
C
Lock the doors, bolt the windows,
Bb
F
you can 't leave the house!
Am
I want a censor in the ladies
Dm
room that discreetly knows
G
When you've tucked your dress
C
into your pantyhose
Am
This happened to me in
Dm
a really fancy place
G
You should have seen the look
C
G
C
F
on the maitre d's face
Bb
It was that sign of the dove in
Manhattan
C
I'll never forget it
F
Everybody was staring at me as I was walking across the floor,
Bb
and I didn't know why!
Dm
Am
But I'm telling you, if I ruled the world,
Bb
humiliating things like this would n't happen anymore.
C
Wouldn't this be a better place
Dm
for all of us to live in?
I'm sure the diners at
Am
Sign of the
Dove would agree.
F
Bb
Now, here are some of my more
C
G
C
modest inven tions.
F
I'd invent an umbrel la with a
Bb
strong brace let attached.
C
You'd never lose it,
Bb
and it would come in handy if you're ever in a sub way attack.
C
F
A de tector that tells you
Bb
what's in the cracker jack box.
C
An extra five minutes on
Bb
C
all of our clock s.
F
Every coun try would drive on the
Bb
same side of the street.
C
I'd remove all cholesterol
Bb
C
from all of our meat.
F
Chil dren would volunteer
Bb
to take naps.
C
People like me would understand
Bb
F
how to read maps.
Am
I'd invent a satellite catcher
Dm
for that inevit able day
G
When your 500 million dollar
C
G
spacecraft just floats away
C
Am
A video camera that could
F
Dm
tape record your dreams
G
I'd invent a 100 % natural, yet luscious,
C
Dm
C
yet nonfat, and so yummy ice cream
F
If I ruled the world,
Bb
I would make these inventions
C
And then think up more at
Bb
inven tion conventions
C
F
But I don't rule the world,
Bb
so we'll have
to make do
C
Bb
With the an noying situations we all
Dm
muddle through
Outro 1
Am
Bb
C
F
Bb
F
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsF C Bb Am Dm...
F
C
Bb
Am
Dm
G
Capo: 3
Transpose: 0
0
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