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Amish Paradise easy guitar chords by 
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Intro 1
F
Dm
E
Am
F
Dm
E
Am
Verse 1
F
As I walk through the valley
Dm
where I harvest my grain
E
I take a look at my wife
Am
and realize she's very plain
F
Dm
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
E
Am
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
F
Dm
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
E
Jebediah feeds the chickens
Am
and Jacob plows, fool
F
Dm
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
E
Am
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
F
I'm a man of the land,
Dm
I'm into discipline
E
Got a Bible in my hand
Am
and a beard on my chin
F
But if I finish all of my chores
Dm
and you finish thine
E
Am
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
Chorus 1
F
G
Dm
We been spending most our lives
E
Am
Living in an Amish paradise
F
G
Dm
I've churned butter once or twice
E
Am
Living in an Amish paradise
F
G
Dm
It's hard work and sacrifice
E
Am
Living in an Amish paradise
F
G
Dm
We sell quilts at a discount price
E
Am
Living in an Amish paradise
Verse 2
F
Dm
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
E
I just smiled at him
Am
and I turned the other cheek
F
Dm
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
E
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off
when he's burning in Hell
F
But I ain't never punched a tourist
Dm
even if he deserved it
E
An Amish with a 'tude?
Am
You know that's unheard of
F
Dm
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
E
And my homies agree
Am
I really look good in black, fool
F
If you come to visit,
Dm
you'll be bored to tears
E
We haven't even paid the phone bill
Am
in 300 years
F
But we ain't really quaint,
Dm
so please don't point and stare
E
Am
We're just technologically impaired
Bridge 1
F
Dm
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
E
Am
Not a single luxury
F
Dm
Like Robinson Caruso
E
Am
It's as primitive as can be
Chorus 2
F
G
Dm
We been spending most our lives
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
F
G
Dm
We're just plain and simple guys
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
F
G
Dm
There's no time for sin and vice
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
F
G
Dm
We don't fight, we all play nice
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
Verse 3
F
Dm
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
E
Raised a barn on Monday,
Am
soon I'll raise another
F
Think you're really righteous?
Dm
Think you're pure in heart?
E
Well, I know
Am
I'm a million time as humble as thou art
F
I'm the pious guy
Dm
the little Amlettes want to be like
E
On my knees day and night
Am
scorin' points for the afterlife
F
Dm
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
E
Or else, my brother,
Am
I might have to get medieval on your heinie
Chorus 3
F
G
Dm
We been spending most our lives
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
F
G
Dm
We're all crazy Mennonites
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
F
G
Dm
There's no cops or traffic lights
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
F
G
Dm
But you'd probably think it bites
E
Am
Living in an Amish Paradise
Outro 1
F
Dm
E
Am
F
Dm
E
Am
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Rose the Black Cat
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Tuliketsune
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