Whiskey Dick chords by
Joe Stamm
Joe Stamm
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N/A
Key: A major
Verse 1
G
G

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There's a guy I know we
call Whiskey Dick
C
C

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He's built short and thin
but his head's kinda thick
D
D

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And he gets so drunk
that he can't stand up straight
G
G

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And he always comes around
the worst possible time
C
C

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And shortly thereafter,
the party sure dies
D
D

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He's a most unwelcome guest
G
G

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to everyone he meets
Hey Whiskey Dick, please go away
C
C

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Hey Whiskey Dick,
we're just trying to play
D
D

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But you're drunk and unstable
G
G

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and you're killing the vibe in here
Hey, whiskey dead,
well you can go fuck off
C
C

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Hey, whiskey dead,
he turned his head and called
D
D

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Your timing is awful
and you shouldn't have had
G
G

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so much beer
It's always interesting,
you look out in the crowd
singing this song
Wives and girlfriends nudging
their boyfriends
giving them up right there
in front of everybody
The other night I had over a friend
C
C

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and we were drinking and laughing
and commensurating
D
D

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but it started getting late
G
G

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so we thought I'd dim the lights.
We got to hugging and rubbing
and kissing down the hall,
C
C

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stumbled into the bedroom,
managed not to fall,
D
D

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took off each other's pants
G
G

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and climbed underneath the sheets.
But about that time
I heard an old knock on the door
C
C

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and he just walked on in,
heard him pacing the floor.
D
D

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Drunk and hunched over, he come in,
G
G

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sat down on edge of the bed
Wouldn't you know it was
C
C

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Whiskey Dick passin' out next to
his big ol' bag of tricks
D
D

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And I could tell my female companion
G
G

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was a little let down
Hey Whiskey Dick, please go away
C
C

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Hey Whiskey Dick,
we're just tryin' to get laid
D
D

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You're too drunk and unstable
G
G

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and you're killin' the vibe in here
Hey Whiskey Dick, you can go fuck off
C
C

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Hey, Whiskey Dick
turned his head and called
D
D

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Your timing is awful
and you shouldn't have had so much beer
G
G

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Hey, Whiskey Dick
prefers jelly to jam
C
C

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Whiskey Dick's runny eggs on his ham
D
D

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But he's always too drunk
G
G

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to work up an appetite
Hey, Whiskey Dick got kicked
out of the army
C
C

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Whiskey Dick ain't no good at farming
D
D

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He can't stand the detention
G
G

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and his crops never grow up right
Hey, whiskey dick, dude,
what's your problem?
C
C

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Whiskey dick took my balls
and dropped them
D
D

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He's drunk and unstable
G
G

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and he's killin' the vibe in here
Hey, whiskey dick, you can go fuck off
C
C

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Hey, whiskey dick, turn his head
I'm sorry, I always have
a hell of a time
finishing that song
I'm trying to keep my eyes over here,
I don't know you can hear me.
D
D

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Your timing is awful
G
G

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and you shouldn't have had so much beer.
D
D

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I said your timing is awful
and I told you not to drink so
G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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much beer.
G
G

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D
D

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There are two places in life
that I love to be as much
as any other place,
and one is on a stage
and two is within a song,
and I would like to thank you guys
for letting me be in both of those
places tonight.
It is one of the most meaningful
things
that has ever happened to me,
certainly in my professional career.
G
G

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Thank you for supporting us
and for being here,
spending your time and money.
Some of you traveled a long ways.
I appreciate that.
Thank you for letting me
be on a stage.
D
D

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Thank you for letting me hide in a song.
And that's what this song is about,
and I'm going to leave you with that.

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsG C D

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