T.J. Miller chords by
Tj Miller

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Key: Eb major

Verse 1
D D 
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TJ Miller, T -T -T -T
Dm Dm 
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D D 
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J. Miller, TJ Miller T -T
C C 
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D D 
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Dm Dm 
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C C 
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-T -T -T
D D 
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I'm like Pepsi, I'm always second best
Like Melissa Etheridge,
I'm usually in a vest
I'm like Home Depot, if I can't flow
There's Hispanics out front, ready to go
I'm like Southwest,
you're free to move around
But the only place I'm going is D -Town
I'm like Mr. Clean,
I appear out of nowhere
Jeffertan but downtown, subtle, no hair
I'm like FEMA, I always come late
I'm like Puerto Rico,
I'm not really a state
Dm Dm 
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I'm like Don ald Duck,
you can't understand a word
I'm dangerous and friendly to kids,
C C 
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call me Notorious B .I .G., bird
Dm Dm 
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D D 
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I'm like Maury Povich,
Dm Dm 
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I make a living off exploitation
D D 
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I'm like Cuban,
Dm Dm 
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sometimes I mix myself up with Haitians
D D 
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I'm like Sarah Palin,
Dm Dm 
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I'm the scum of the earth
D D 
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I'm like Jaden Smith,
Dm Dm 
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I was set since birth
D D 
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I'm like my mom's friend,
Allison Golanski
When I have dinner parties,
I don't invite me
Dm Dm 
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I'm like Dave Matthews,
D D 
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my fans are all tools
Dm Dm 
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I'm like Cricket, y 'all,
D D 
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I  don't quite understand the rules
Dm Dm 
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I'm like an over -weighted vice columnist,
hunter, director of photography
D D 
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Dm Dm 
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C C 
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D D 
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I shot Deer Flabby
It's a documentary,
actually won best picture of fun
Dm Dm 
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dance in South by Northeast
D D 
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Dm Dm 
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C C 
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We spin it to candy, spin it in K
Dm Dm 
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I'm like a claw machine,
D D 
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you usually don't win
I'm like all that's evil and not real,
Dm Dm 
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you can call me Sin
D D 
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I'm like a clown without makeup,
Dm Dm 
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still kinda scary
D D 
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C C 
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Dm Dm 
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I'm like a Scrabble dictionary,
D D 
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cause I'm useless
But with the great vocabulary
I'm confusing like when a girl
named Mary gets married.
Dm Dm 
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I'm like Gary Coleman.
It didn't end up so great
I'm like pornography.
D D 
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I  use me to masturbate.
get you turned off.
I'm like a creepy doctor
They'll turn your head when
you cough.
I'm like a butterface
because I have margarine on my face
I'm like China in a bull shop.
I'm still out of place.
I'm like cryogenics
No one really knows exactly
what I am
or if it extends one's own life
It's probably just science fiction
Dm Dm 
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to help people stave off their fear of mortality,
Dsus4 Dsus4 
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Dm Dm 
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C C 
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you know I'm like that
D D 
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I'm like Kremlin hard button,
Dm Dm 
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no one's ever heard of me
D D 
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I'm an annoying phenomenon
Dm Dm 
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D D 
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I'm like Glee, I'm like L  .A.
Dm Dm 
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Cause I take my time to crush a soul
D D 
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Dm Dm 
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I'm like New York City, I'm already full
D D 
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I'm like Richard Nixon,
except I'm a crook
Like a blind person with audiotapes
I don't do it by the book!
Dm Dm 
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I'm like King Kong, cause I sweat a lot
I mean nobody ever talks about it,
but he probably sweats a lot
I'm like Q -Tip,
I didn't make it fuckin' round for real
D D 
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But yo, technically, I'm not made of steel
Dm Dm 
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D D 
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I'm mostly water, I'm mostly water
Did you know the human body
is almost 97 % water?
Dm Dm 
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I mean, it's like, entirely water
C C 
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Dm Dm 
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I'm like Cali Swag,
I'm a one -hit wonder
I'm like a cold hit without
D D 
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mass appeal,
Dm Dm 
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I'm six feet under
D D 
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I'm like glasses, since July
Dm Dm 
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I've been out of fashion
D D 
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I'm the cultural elite,
I'm the last intellectual bastion
I'm like Elvis Presley,
cause I stole that shit
I'm like Charlie Parker,
cause I'm that bird shit
Dm Dm 
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Yo, Griffin's in my blood,
and it's not about to clot
Improvised like the sun,
all important and fuckin' hot
I'm like a flasher in the cold,
I always wear two coats
D D 
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I'm like Angela Lansbury,
Dm Dm 
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I wrote Murder, She Wrote
I'm like Mrs. Doubtfire,
I look good in a wig
D D 
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I'm like that farmer from Bay,
that'll do, pig
That'll do, pig, that'll do, pig
That'll do, pig, that'll do, pig
Dm Dm 
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D D 
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Dsus4 Dsus4 
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D D 
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Oh boy!
Dm Dm 
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C C 
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D D 
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That's G -Dragon
D D 
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That'll do
D D 
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That'll do, pig
That'll do
D D 
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D D 
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Oh boy! That'll do,
D D 
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Oh boy! Bye!
D D 
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Dm Dm 
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Dsus4 Dsus4 
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D D 
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C C 
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D D 
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ChordsD Dm C Dsus4

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