Talkin' Alien Abduction Blues chords by
Dan Bern

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Key: A major

Verse 1
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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I don't know
C C 
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what made me go out that night,
D D 
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at that hour
I'd normally been in bed,
G G 
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but I found myself looking up
C C 
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at the sky
G G 
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D D 
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G G 
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at a very bright light straight overhead.
C C 
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D D 
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It flashed green, and then red,
G G 
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C C 
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G G 
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Santa Claus colors.
C C 
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I stood there frozen in that light,
D D 
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then I started hearing
this kind of a whirr.
G G 
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The lights got louder,
C C 
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and the noise got brighter,
D D 
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G G 
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and I felt a sudden chill, burr,
C C 
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it was cold.
D D 
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Shouldn't have gone out without a coat
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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My mom was right again
This big old spaceship
C C 
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floated down
D D 
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and hovered three feet above the earth
G G 
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Never been so scared in all
C C 
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my life
D D 
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Could have given spontaneous birth
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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D D 
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G G 
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If I was a woman and  pregnant
Then these two little guys
C C 
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about four feet tall
D D 
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jumped off that space age
Greyhound bus
G G 
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C C 
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They grabbed me by the arms
D D 
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and said, start walking
G G 
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Dan, you're coming with us
C C 
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Abduction
D D 
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They didn't actually speak,
but I understood them,
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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telepathy
They strapped me down
C C 
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to this metal crate,
D D 
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took out this thirty -five
foot long hose
G G 
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C C 
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They said, don't worry, this won't hurt,
D D 
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G G 
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then they stuffed that sucker up my nose
C C 
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D D 
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All the way up I knew my nose was long
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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But this was a surprise
C C 
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They examined me from head
to toe
D D 
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Stuck prods in every orifice
G G 
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This cold gray box
C C 
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Come gave me a kiss
D D 
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And extracted a couple of quarts
G G 
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Of piss, I felt dehydrated
Then they waved this wand
C C 
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all around my brain,
D D 
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said now we're readin' your brain,
you see
G G 
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C C 
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You got an awful lot of songs in there,
D D 
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G G 
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though it seems they're all in the key of G
C C 
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So what about Maryland,
D D 
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C C 
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that's in D, they said D -flat actually, I said well yeah,
cause I tuned down a half step
What about Hannibal,
D D 
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they said what about Hannibal
C C 
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I said well technically it's in G,
D D 
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but it's really a drop D tuning capoed up
C C 
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They said,
how come you don't play the harmonica more?
D D 
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I said, how come I'm in a spaceship
talking to aliens about my acts?
C C 
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They said, we'd rather talk physics,
D D 
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but you're illiterate there.
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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Couldn't argue.
C C 
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They should drive me someplace in Brazil.
G G 
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D D 
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It took a month to get back to the USA.
G G 
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When I told my friends
what I'd been through,
D D 
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G G 
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no one believed what I had to say.
C C 
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That sucked.
D D 
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To be expected, though,
most people think Hannibal's
G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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in straight tuning.
C C 
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Well, my life's back to normal now.
D D 
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I do the things I always do.
G G 
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But once a week
C C 
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D D 
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I meet with twelve other folks
who've been abducted
G G 
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too.
C C 
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D D 
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I tell my story, they tell theirs,
C C 
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I  don't believe them
though.
D D 
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G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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G G 
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C C 
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D D 
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