Soap Opera chords by
Rupert Holmes
Rupert Holmes
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Key: B minor
Intro 1
D#
D#

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C#
C#

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A
A

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Verse 1
Dm
Dm

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There was a time when I saw
Bb
Bb

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myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
Dm
Dm

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The Metropolitan Opera,
C
C

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the Daily Critic's latest rage
Gm
Gm

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Am
Am

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But my voice went through a change
Bm
Bm

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Cm
Cm

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about the same time as my skin
C
C

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Am
Am

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Dm
Dm

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Now the op era is gone and what
Em
Em

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Am
Am

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is left is getting awfully thin
Dm
Dm

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Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
Bb
Bb

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a superstar upon the stage
Dm
Dm

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In someone's rock and roll opera,
C
C

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but then my throat began to age
Gm
Gm

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Am
Am

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And I wound up working nights with
Bm
Bm

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Cm
Cm

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afternoons when I'm awake
C
C

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Am
Am

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Dm
Dm

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Em
Em

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So I watch the daily dramas as my life
Am
Am

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becomes a coffee break
Dm
Dm

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Verse 3
D
D

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Here's the story up to date
Bm
Bm

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Shirley's found another mate
F#m
F#m

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Though she'll wind up with
Am
Am

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C
C

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her husband in the end
G
G

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But her husband's got no life
Em
Em

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He can't make it with his wife
Am
Am

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Though his secretary's more
D
D

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than just his friend
Verse 4
D
D

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It's a day- to- day routine and
Bm
Bm

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I watch the TV screen
F#m
F#m

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Letting Bob and Shirley
Am
Am

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live my life for me
G
G

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It's an opera made of soap using
Em
Em

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oth er people's hope
Am
Am

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And to morrow's show ain't
Dm
Dm

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soon enough for me
Verse 5
Dm
Dm

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There was a time when I saw myself
Bb
Bb

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a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
Dm
Dm

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A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
C
C

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but that's a long- forgotten dream
Gm
Gm

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Am
Am

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So I watch Let's Make a Deal
Bm
Bm

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Cm
Cm

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and win the jackpot in my brain
Am
Am

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Dm
Dm

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Then it's time to watch the show that's
Em
Em

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Am
Am

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got my cerebellum half insane
Dm
Dm

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Verse 6
D
D

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Here's the story down to earth
Bm
Bm

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Shirley's finally given birth
F#m
F#m

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She's been carrying the
C
C

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Am
Am

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baby for a year
C
C

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G
G

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Though it don't belong to Bob
Em
Em

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Who's been fired from
Am
Am

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his job as a surgeon
D
D

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'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
D
D

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He can't stand the sight of blood
Bm
Bm

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Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
F#m
F#m

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Who's the father of the kid
Am
Am

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C
C

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Am
Am

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but he won't give
G
G

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And tomorrow's show will say
Em
Em

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what they left out yesterday
Am
Am

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D
D

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And that gives me one good reason I should live
G
G

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Em
Em

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Interlude 1
Gm
Gm

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Edim
Edim

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Gm
Gm

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D
D

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B
B

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Edim
Edim

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Am
Am

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Dm
Dm

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D
D

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Here's the story
Verse 8
in a shell
Bm
Bm

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Bobby's mind is shot to hell
F#m
F#m

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'Cause he can't recall
Am
Am

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his name or how he feels
C
C

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G
G

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He's a lost amnesiac
Em
Em

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Am
Am

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While his wife is in the back of her station
D
D

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wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
D
D

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Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
Bm
Bm

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has some poison in her purse
F#m
F#m

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And she's gonna slip into
Am
Am

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Shirley's soup
G
G

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Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Em
Em

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Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
Am
Am

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But old Judd don't want
D
D

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to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
D
D

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And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
Bm
Bm

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F#m
F#m

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body six feet deep in her grave
A
A

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Am
Am

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And chase him to the Baltic Sea
G
G

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For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
Em
Em

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Am
Am

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Who's found a life as a farmer
D
D

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since he lost his memory
Verse 11
D
D

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So to give a resume
Bm
Bm

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Bobby's bailing up the hay
F#m
F#m

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A
A

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While his wife is in the straw
Am
Am

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C
C

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with Bill and Fred
G
G

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But she don't feel great inside
Em
Em

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Am
Am

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It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
D
D

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Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
D
D

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There's a baby who just grew
Bm
Bm

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fifteen years in only two
D
D

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F#m
F#m

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A
A

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And she has her eyes on
Am
Am

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Judd who is her dad
C
C

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G
G

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But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsD# C# A Dm Bb...

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