More Fashion Tips chords by Jeff Foxworthy

SimplifiedG · C · Bb · Gm

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Verse 1
G 
 (G major) Fashion  rule number three.
C 
G 
 (C major) Tattoos  (G major) are not for everybody.
When I was a kid,
the only people that had tattoos
were old guys
that had been in the Navy.
You know,
and theirs were kind of blurry and faded.
You couldn't even tell what they were.
You're staring at it going,
C 
it's either a naked wo (C major) man
G 
or Willie Nelson  (G major) using  post hole
diggers.
C 
But it was the old Navy  (C major) guys
G 
an (G major) d Hell's Angels.
But they had the scary tattoos,
C 
you know, like  (C major) on their knuckles,
G 
like love  (G major) an d hate.
C 
 (C major) My cousin had that,
G 
and then one  (G major) summer he got a job in the carnival,
and he got his pinky
chopped off.
Now his hands say love hat.
Bb 
Ooh, that's in (B flat major) timidating.
G 
 (G major) And I don't have
anything against tattoos.
I don't have one myself.
If I did, it would be right there
next to my watch.
It would say, your wife's
birthday is August 2nd.
Your anniversary's September 18th.
Don't let Ron White drive your car
again.
All I'm saying with tattoos
is you have to plan ahead just a
little bit.
Because I think a lot of tattoos are
cool
when you're young
and your skin is taunt.
But as you get older,
that skin's going to start sagging.
You know,
ladies like that little hummingbird.
It's real cute when you're 20,
but that bird is going
to fly south for the winter.
And 20 years down the road
you don't want your grandkids crying going
I don't want to stay with grandma
She's got a buzzard on her back
Because when that skin
starts sagging
Gm 
C 
G 
suddenly that  (G minor) dol phin is a  (C major) beluga  (G major) whale
and That Rose is Rosie O'Donnell
With a mouthful of leaves
And something else to think about you know
It's gonna be real hard for your kids
to take you seriously
when you tell them say
no to drugs
and you got a pot plant
Tattooed to your neck
That's the rule number four
if you've given birth
more than five times
a tank top is not an acceptable
substitute for a bra
There was this lady at the book signing,
and I don't know what had happened to her to cause
G 
 (G major) this particular breast configuration,
C 
G 
but she had  (C major) one under  (G major) each arm.
She looked like a watermelon
delivery boy.
Tank tops aren't good on anybody,
especially those low -cut ones.
You know, if your skin is the
color of Cool Whip
and you have a mole that looks like an oatmeal pie,
let that be your little secret.
Guys, if you have back titties...
G 
I didn't  (G major) know if you would
know
what I was talking about there.
G 
The  (G major) kind of guys that are
walking through the mall
and nursing babies are going,
Num -num, num -num.
Also, if your back's so hairy,
you've been shot more than twice
with a tranquilizer gun, say yes to sleeves.
I hope Larry is listening to some of this.