Cheapest Lasik Surgery chords by Jeff Foxworthy

SimplifiedG · C · Bb · F

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Verse 1
G 
 (G major) Thank you very much.
C 
 (C major) Ladies and gentlemen,
G 
 (G major) it gives me great pride
C 
to welcome to  (C major) the stage
G 
the best  (G major) comedian that ever lived,
Jeff Foxworthy.
I gotta tell I really appreciate
Ron
being a part of this.
He had to leave a New Year's Eve party
to be here tonight.
Not saying Ron drinks,
but I hugged him
and my vision is blurry.
Speaking of blurry vision,
I got to point this out.
I saw a billboard here in Washington, D .C. advertising
for the vision correction surgery.
C 
The billboard  (C major) claimed that they have
G 
 (G major) the cheapest LASIK in town.
And I'm thinking,
if you're going to be operating on my
Bb 
eyeballs with a  (B flat major) laser beam,
G 
 (G major) I don't want the cheapest in town.
I want somebody
that takes a little pride in their work.
I don't want to be walking
C 
 (C major) around
G 
hanging on to a  (G major) German Shepherd
by a harness bragging.
I just saved a bundle on my LASIK surgery.
And if they decided to go with
cheapest in town,
what slogan did they pass up?
Hey, some of our patients
actually kind of see a little bit better.
If it doesn't work,
think of the money you'll
save on lightbulbs.
I mean, I like saving money,
I just don't think medical
procedures
are where you want to do it.
I don't want the cheapest vasectomy
in town.
Climbing into a truck
F 
behind a convenience  (F major) store
and the guy going,
G 
you got the  (G major) 20 bucks?
Alright listen, bite down on this rag
so you don't scream.
I can't have the neighbors
G 
calling the police again.  (G major) 
F 
 (F major) A couple of slogans with
G 
 (G major) a vasectomy
C 
 (C major) I wouldn't want to hear.
G 
 (G major) Like, half off, buy one,
F 
G 
 (F major) get one  (G major) free.
I don't even know
how that would work.
F 
G 
 (F major) Everything must  (G major) go.
No, most of it better be staying, Rufus. Fuck.