Joe Christ chords by
Dan Bern

N/A

Key: D major

Intro 1

Verse 1
D D 
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So Christ
A A 
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D D 
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was Jesus' daddy
G G 
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He worked at the corner saloon
D D 
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Pourin' out safers and slitses
A A 
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To the mill workers starting around noon
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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Joe Christ, he worked on the weekends
G G 
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And on the major holidays, you bet
You know he would attend
D D 
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a bar on Christmas
A A 
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If Christmas had been invented yet
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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One day his wife came in the bar
G G 
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Mary Christ did not come in most days
She said, Joe,
D D 
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there's something that I gotta tell ya
I'm pregnant, big with child,
in the family way
A A 
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G G 
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D D 
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Joe Christ, Joe Christ
G G 
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Joe Christ, dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
D D 
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Joe Christ gonna have him
Bm Bm 2
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D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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A A 
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self a family
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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Well, Joe Christ, he wrinkled up his brow
He said, babe, you know I love you,
G G 
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have no fear
D D 
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But you know on account of my condition
A A 
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We haven't actually done it in a year
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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She said baby cakes, my honey pie, my joe
G G 
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You know I would never lie to you
D D 
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It's the Lord himself what done it to me
He brought along champagne
A A 
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and chocolates too
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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It was magical, I just could not say no
G G 
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He had a French accent, and what's more
D D 
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He treated me just rough enough how I like it
A A 
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I felt like a 10 ,000 whore
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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But Joe, Joe, you gotta understand
G G 
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It didn't mean nothin', that's no lie
We only done it once and
D D 
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that's the end of it
A A 
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Joe you're my number one guy
G G 
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D D 
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Joe Christ, Joe Christ,
Joe Christ, Joe Christ
G G 
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Dee dee dee dee dee dee
Bm Bm 2
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D D 
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Bm Bm 2
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D D 
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Joe Christ, gonna have himself a family
A A 
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D D 
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A A 
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Well,
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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Mary left the bar and Joe just stared
G G 
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He sighed the deepest sight he ever had
D D 
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He said, I guess there's some kind of way
A A 
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In which I'm gonna kinda sorta be a dad
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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He said, shots of whiskey on the house
He thought, diapers, Jesus,
G G 
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how can I afford that?
D D 
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And do I believe Mary's story?
A A 
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Was it the milkman or really the Lord?
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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He thought, well, what choice do I have?
With my condition,
G G 
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I won't get no other dame
There's a critter on the way,
D D 
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that's the bottom line
A A 
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Don't really matter how it came
D D 
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A A 
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Joe Christ closed the bar
D D 
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and went on home
G G 
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He found Mary sleeping on the couch
D D 
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He turned off the TV and computer
A A 
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He rolled up some tobacco from his pouch
D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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Joe Christ stood out on the front porch
G G 
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He looked up at the brightest star
And he prayed that his kid
D D 
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would grow up healthy
A A 
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And in time take his place behind the bar
G G 
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D D 
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Joe Christ, Joe Christ, Joe Christ
G G 
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Joe Christ, dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
D D 
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Bm Bm 2
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D D 
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Joe Christ, gonna have himself a family
A A 
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D D 
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G G 
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D D 
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Joe Christ, Joe Christ, Joe Christ,
G G 
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Joe Christ, dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
D D 
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So Christ's gonna have
Bm Bm 2
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D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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Himself a family

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