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Cruel Shoes (From The Book "Cruel Shoes"")" chords by 
Steve Martin
N/A•
Verse 1
The
Cruel
Em
Shoes
Anna knew she had to have a new pair of shoes today,
and
Carlo had helped her try on every
Bm
pair in the store.
Em
Bm
Carlo spoke wearily.
Em
Well, that's it.
That's every pair of
shoes in the place.
Oh, you must have one more pair.
Bm
Em
No, not one more...
Well, we have...
The
Cruel
Shoes.
But no one would want to try,
Yes, let me see the
Cruel
Shoes.
No, you don't understand.
You see the
Cruel
Shoes.
Get them.
Carlo disappeared into the back room
for a moment
and then reappeared carrying
an ordinary shoebox.
He took off the lid
and removed a hideous pair
of black and white pumps.
Bm
Em
But this was not an ordinary hideous pair
of black and white pumps.
Both were left feet.
One had a right angled turn in it with separate
compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions.
The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair
with a vice and razor blades to hold the foot in place.
G
Em
Carlos spoke hesitantly.
Bm
Em
Now you see, they're not fit for humans.
Put them on me.
But, put them on me.
Carlos knew all arguments
were useless.
Bm
He knelt down before her and
Em
Bm
forced her feet into the shoes.
Em
The screams were incredible.
Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet
Bm
up where she could see.
Em
I like them!
She paid
Carlo and crawled out of the store into the
street.
Later that day,
Carlo was overheard saying
to a new customer,
Well, that's it.
That's every pair
of shoes in the place.
Unless, of course, you'd like to try.
Bm
The
C
Cruel
Bm
Em
Shoes
Bm
F#m
Bm
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