christmas is pain
christmas is pain

christmas is pain easy guitar chords by Roy Zimmerman

N/A•
Guitar
Tuning

E A D G B E

Capo

Fret 3

Capo

Transpose

0

Capo

  • D

  • A

  • G

  • Em

  • Bm

    2

  • D

  • A

  • G

  • Em

  • Bm

    2
    • Verse 1
    There's 
    a 
    turkey a 

    -gobblin' 
    out 
    in 
    the yard 

    Now 
    he's 
    gutted 
    and stuffed 

    and he's 
    basted 
    an
    d charred 

    And 
    your 
    father 
    is whistlin' 
    and 
    washin' 

    the blood 
    down 
    the train 

    Christmas 
    is 
    pain 

    There's 
    a crowd 
    on the 
    hillside 

    with hatchet
    s and 
    saws 

    With 
    a keen 
    disregard 
    for 
    the forestry 
    laws 

    And 
    they 
    happily 
    hum 

    while the 
    stumps slowly 

    bleed 
    in 
    the 
    rain 

    Christmas 
    is 
    pain 

    And 
    the stockings 
    are hung 

    by 
    the chimney 
    with care 

    As 
    if anyone 
    in their 
    right mind 

    would 
    hang a 
    man 

    And 
    some tired 
    old 
    crooner is 

    croaking 
    out 
    carols 
    again 

    Christmas 
    is pain 




    And 
    you wait 
    for an hour 
    to 
    see 

    Santa 

    Claus 

    And 
    he's covered 
    with velveteen, 

    bourbon 
    an
    d 

    gauze 

    And 
    he 
    pinches 
    your 
    mother and 

    she can't find 

    the words to 
    ex
    plain 

    Christmas 
    is 
    pain 

    And 
    the 
    hungry are 
    hungering 
    on 

    Hunger 

    Street 

    While 
    the people on 

    Plenty 

    Street 
    eat 

    And 
    you 
    punctured 
    the 
    roof of your 

    mouth on 
    a 
    sharp candy 
    cane 

    Christmas is 
    pain 

    And 
    all the good 
    cheer is 
    just 

    Madison 

    Avenue 

    And 
    all the best 

    Christmas songs 
    were written by 

    Jews 

    And 
    the 
    eight tiny 
    reindeer have 
    left an 

    embarrass
    ing stain 

    Christmas 
    is 
    pain 

    And 
    two 
    thirds 
    of the world 

    doesn't 
    give half 
    a 
    damn 

    And 
    the rest are all 
    bloated on 

    marshmallow 
    yam 

    And 
    if 

    Jesus 
    was 
    here, 

    he'd be 
    sent to 
    the 
    back of the train 

    Christmas 
    is 
    pain 

    And 
    they double the 
    price of 

    whatever you 
    need 

    Sayin' 
    I pledge 
    allegiance to 

    corporate greed 

    And 
    you're 
    forced to spend 
    sev

    eral hours 
    conversing 
    with 
    your old 

    Aunt 

    Lor
    raine 

    Who's 
    insane 

    With 
    a brain on 
    a plane to 

    Spain, where the mainstays 
    rainly 

    in the flat terrain, 

    Christmas is 
    pain. 


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