Turning 50 chords by
Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall

N/A
Key: Ab major
Verse 1
G
G

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It's blue -collar comedy,
the next generation.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your host,
Mr. Bill Engwald.
Wow, wow.
C
C

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Oh, you people must really be
F
F

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G
G

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losing money.
Thank you guys for being here.
Welcome to Blue Collar, The Next Generation,
G
G

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which basically means
C
C

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G
G

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I'm out of a job.
You know what, and I gotta
tell you something,
this is really exciting for me
Am
Am

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because I was honored to be
G
G

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D
D

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a member of the original Blue Collar
G
G

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Am
Am

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G
G

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D
D

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with My bud dies Jeff an d Ron and Larry,
G
G

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yeah, and I got to tell you,
it was so cool being a
member of that group
because what that did for my career was
amazing.
I mean, I get recognized
A
A

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G
G

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everywhere and I love that.
I love it when I go into stores
and I see you guys there and you go, Bill,
hey, how you doing?
Am
Am

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And anybody who tells you they don't
G
G

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enjoy being recognized,
they're lying to your face
because it's a cool thing.
Now there are times when you
don't want to be recognized,
but you can't have it both ways.
I'll give you a great example.
I recently turned 50
Bb
Bb

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G
G

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and so on my 50th, thank you ma 'am,
Eb
Eb

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I'm glad you're excited for that.
G
G

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On my 50th birthday,
my wife awakened me with this, happy birthday,
you need to get the procedure done.
I said what what procedure?
She goes you need to get scoped
G
G

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and I go that's I said look that that's just
morning breath.
I go I'm gonna go brush my teeth
and she goes no you need the real scope.
So I she set this all up
and she got this found this doctor
and they called me two days before my procedure
and they said all right you
need to go to the drugstore
and you need to
buy some accoutrements.
And what this stuff
C
C

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G
G

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that I had to buy included was,
I had to buy these two jugs of,
Am
Am

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for lack of a better term we'll call,
G
G

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pooping juice.
And what you do is you drink this stuff
C
C

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G
G

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and it clears you out of everything you've eaten
since you were five.
And the doctor said,
now if that doesn't work,
I also need you to buy,
I can't even say it, an enema bottle.
And my first thought was,
who's going to give that to me?
Because I'm not going to do it myself.
F
F

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G
G

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I know for damn sure
my wife's not going to do it.
And I don't got a friend close enough,
I would even ask about doing it.
So I got all this stuff
D
D

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G
G

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and I walk over to the counter
Am
Am

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and I set it all down.
G
G

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These two jugs of juice
and this enema bottle.
G
G

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The little girl behind the counter
turns around and goes,
Oh my God, oh my God,
you're Bill Engvall."
And then she looked down.
And I said, see?
Even I get sent to the store
to buy stuff for other people.

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsG C F Am D...