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Yard Act
Yard Act
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Key: G major•
Intro 1
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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A
A

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Yeah
Verse 1
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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A
A

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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He was the most handsome
Dm
Dm

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D
D

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in a class of twenty-two
G
G

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And And he knew it early on so
Dm
Dm

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his confidence kept growing
G
G

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By thirteen he had been with
Dm
Dm

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every girl deemed worth it
F
F

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G
G

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To be with in the village,
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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two years either side of his birthday
He played football, boy, could he play
He played every single
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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D
D

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day and he still does
G
G

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A scout from Crewe Alexander
D
D

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G
G

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came to watch him once
And they said that they were gonna
Interlude 1
be in touch
Dm
Dm

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F
F

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C
C

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F
F

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Em
Em

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Verse 2
G
G

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He was the captain of the team
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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without ever asking to be
And without ever being told,
C
C

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that counts for a lot, still, believe it or not
G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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Em
Em

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Lo and behold, everyone fell in line behind
G
G

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the hair on his legs and hair on his lip
He was the-
F
F

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C
C

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Dm
Dm

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F
F

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Verse 3
Em
Em

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G
G

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He could smoke ten a day
Dm
Dm

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A
A

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and still run faster
D
D

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G
G

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Than that whippet that could
Dm
Dm

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lap the racetrack rabbit
G
G

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He could dabble in the snow,
D
D

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A
A

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rubbing shoulders with the rabble
G
G

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And still never ever touch
Em
Em

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upon a habit
F
F

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At age sixteen,
C
C

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he made his choice to stay
F
F

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And got a job selling houses
C
C

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in the village
Dm
Dm

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F
F

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Which by now had become such
C
C

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a desirable place to settle down
F
F

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It was classed not as a village,
Em
Em

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G
G

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Em
Em

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G
G

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Bb
Bb

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Gm
Gm
3

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Bb
Bb

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G
G

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but instead as a small town
(On the sunny, sunny side of
Gm
Gm
3

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the borough)
G
G

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(You get two brown bins)
Verse 4
G
G

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Fortunately, despite the influx of newcomers including,
for the first time
F
F

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G
G

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Em
Em

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A genuine authentic Italian restaurant run by
F
F

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a family of fantastic old school Neapolitans
G
G

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F
F

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He was still the best at football,
and a most handsome man
G
G

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Taking solace in that fact as his little
F
F

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C
C

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world continued to expand
Woo
F
F

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Verse 5
C
C

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Em
Em

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G
G

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Gm
Gm
3

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By the time he was twenty,
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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G
G

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he'd now been with all the girls deemed worth it in the village
Dm
Dm

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Five years either side of his birthday
G
G

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But it was time to settle down and no
Dm
Dm

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kiss had ever felt so electric
G
G

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As the first he'd ever felt
Dm
Dm

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all those years ago
G
G

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F
F

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Though she had never strayed far,
C
C

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hemmed in by his shadow
F
F

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The torches lining the path of her own dreams had
C
C

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been growing dimmer by the day and so
Dm
Dm

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F
F

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Faster than a dying star,
C
C

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she cashed in her chips and checked out
F
F

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Settled for him and subsequently
Em
Em

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threw all her own ambitions away
Verse 6
G
G

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A promotion followed,
a mortgage, a marriage
A dog and children, a loft conversion
A dead dog, and a second home
on the Costa del Sol
In the hopes of stoking the coals
of two long lost souls
Which comes first,
counselling or keys in the bowl?
Put his own mother in a home
Got made redundant twice,
Interlude 2
never once was he on the dole
G
G

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Verse 7
G
G

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Light head, black spots on his vision,
room spinning
Clutching the curtain waving from the window,
they thought he was grinning
Em
Em

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He was grimacing, begging them to notice him,
G
G

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twitching, notice no one is helping him
The grandkids waving through
the rear windshield
Em
Em

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G
G

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As the big electric gate draws
a line in between them
A fine, fine line between
benign and malignant
Em
Em

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So get yourself checked,
G
G

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book yourself an appointment
So get yourself checked,
book yourself an appointment
So get yourself checked,
book yourself an appointment
So get yourself checked,
book yourself
Verse 8
G
G

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The whole village and most of the town came
out to mourn his end
A full house, he would've been so proud knowing
Gm
Gm
3

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Dm
Dm

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that no one said a bad word about him aloud
G
G

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F
F

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He wasn't perfect,
G
G

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F
F

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but he was my friend
C
C

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He wasn't perfect,
F
F

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but he was one of us
C
C

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He was one of us
Dsus4
Dsus4

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G
G

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A plaque bears his full name
on a bench by the water's edge
D
D

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The dates he came and went
G
G

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And a quote about life and death from a song
Dm
Dm

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he'd nev er heard
Em
Em

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'Cause he wasn't too fond
F
F

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of long songs with lots of words
C
C

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If I were him,
F
F

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I'd have never left the village either
But I did, and I know full well
Em
Em

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That there are more handsome men and better footballer
Gm
Gm
3

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G
G

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Gm
Gm
3

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s out there in Greater Manchester
D
D

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They would've cut him down to size if they could've,
Gm
Gm
3

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but what good would that do?
He bloomed and he grew and grew,
and still he was doomed
F
F

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Same as me, same as you
Cm
Cm
3

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Same as everyone I ever knew
F
F

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You, sometimes still, I think about you
Gm
Gm
3

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F
F

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Out there, somewhere,
Cm
Cm
3

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C
C

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floating in the ether
F
F

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Gm
Gm
3

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Born dyed in the wool, never
knowing of a belly half full
So many of us just crabs in a barrel
Gm
Gm
3

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With no feasible means to escape
the inevitable cull
There are those that grow thick skins
quick for the sake of their sins
And the savvy folk that just keep their mouths
Gm
Gm
3

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shut and take it all on the chin
We collide with each other, we submit,
and we bare our teeth
Catch fish using giant metal ships
and scream with laughter
At 4AM staggering home
down moonlit country lanes
We cry because children are dying across the sea
and there is nothing we can do about it
Gm
Gm
3

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Whilst we benefit from the bombs dropped
which we had no part in building
We are sorry, truly we are sorry,
we are just trying to get by too

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