Key: D major
Intro 1
D
C
Bb
C
Bb
Diarrhea's
Verse 1
Gm
Bb
coming back,
Gm
Bb
Gm
Bb
my family's under attack
Fm
Bb
Thought I could
prove I'm not a baby,
but now all of us need saving
C#
C
Sure a lot is happening,
but I wish I brought my napkin thing
Gm
D
Bb
It might have helped to
calm us down
Don't make a sound!
But why are you doing all this?
Look, I'm not bad
C#
A
C#
A
C#
A
Even though I'm not a bad person
So I killed one colony
And to turn it into something worthy
D
B
E
A
Trust me, I'm sure you will agree
E
Eb
Would you like to hear
C
Gm
C
A
B
my mas ter plan?
A
B
Bm
D
Okay, can you answer faster?
Bm
D
Cause I asked you
Would you like to hear my
Um, yes?
D
C
I'm so glad that you asked
Em
Gm
You see, I'm in the Fishoulder
Family Trust
He means the poor part
They're bad because they're poor
D
D
Okay. Okay. I said okay.
if you've been convicted of a felony.
C#
A
D
And every single one of them has been.
All except for Cousin Calvin,
Bb
Gm
because he never got caught.
C#
F#m
So, I frame him, and boom! Now,
D
if something unfortunate happens to Calvin and Felix,
F#m
F#
F#m
D
Not me. No, no, no.
Why would they?
Something unfortunate
is going to happen to us?
Uh, yes.
Surprise.
Oh, poo.
Wait, both of us?
You were so insistent
D
D
I bought an outfit. Yes, we know!
It won't make it out from under the pier.
gonna make it to Cuba?
Hmm, I think we might have gotten a
E
B
little too excited about the sub idea.
I mean, isn't it just an old ride?
down in front of our restaurant
Ah, right.
I didn't bury him in front
and I didn't want to wait six years!
SIX YEARS!
Bb
D
Bb
Db
Easy, easy.
Ab
Db
Maybe we should hold off on the questions.
A top -rate murder!
Fm
Eb
Fm
C
I shoot Mr. Carney with Calvin's gun.
Gm
D
or whatever yucky stuff was
Ab
Db
I leave the stupid foot sticking
Ab
out
Db
Fm
Eb
so someone would be sure to see it.
But little did I know that some
working for the city
was gonna scoop up that pile
Eb
Fm
without even checking for dead carnies!
F
D
I come back, I've got nobody,
I didn't know where they brought the dirt,
C
Cm
and it's not like I could go around asking,
Gm
D
this tall, kind of a biter?
your stupid pipe burst
and saved the day.
frame job back on,
and it's true what they say,
good things happen to good people.
Wait a second,
C
is this all about your silly Mega Park idea?
Mega Park. My...
Mega Park!
So many gift shops
C
Em
And indoor motion simulator rides
Cotton Candy Dan had to die.
It's going to be so worth it.
Because business dreams are
about business.
They're not about dreams.
That's not true.
All right, then.
I think I got it figured out.
A
C#
You're going to all get in the sub,
D
A
Am
C
D
A
Oh, no, I don't think that's right.
You won't be able to get out.
Then you died.
Metal wheels on metal tracks
Whoops, the drapes, they catch on fire,
Up it goes into the mole hill,
D
which now seems to be quite full of cute and fluffy,
So they don't come to life?
And then the mole hill turns
F
C#
That's what we call Dad's back
We do? Oh, oh, oh,
Gb
Cb
F#
lems with this plan
You would burn in the fire too?
D
sugar,
Gm
Bb
C
amusement pier.
It's gonna go up the stairs,
Bb
Gm
over the roof of this stupid room.
And our some investigators
Cm
C
C
Bb
Gm
will never suspect a thing!
My fuse and my brilliant
Bb
D
flammable stuffed animals idea
I went there just an hour ago.
I said the steam room was too steamy.
A
A
I made a pretty damn big show.
and that's how I got here now.
Gb
D
I just sneak back in through the window
I've been at the gym three hours.
I don't know if you have a three
-hour gym buddy.
Gm
D
No, you're too pasty.
Also, your mega park is mega dumb.
I want to amend my earlier statement.
Here we go.
I'm not that evil,
Gb
E
D
but I'm feeling evil today!
Outro 1
D
E
D
E
D
E
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsD C Bb Gm Fm...
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