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Mrs. von tussle says chords by 
Pattie Darcy
N/A•
Verse 1
D
I've taught you all the lessons they
C
D
don't teach in public schools
And so let's all recite Velma Von
Tussle's golden rules
Verse 2
Am
D
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Am
Girls, you mustn't ever
D
eat snacks
G
D
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Colors, ladies,
G
stay away from blacks
Am
D
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Am
Girls, let's hope not one more stomach
D
G
growls
(Remember)
Bb
G
What Mrs. Von Tussle says is gold
Verse 3
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
The girl who's chosen must
Am
D
be the right fit
G
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
Stand still, Amber,
G
let me have that zit
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
Am
We must read out those Baltimore
D
G
hips
(Remember)
C
G
Am
What Mrs. Von Tussle says sticks
G
A
Verse 4
C
lady's virtue in my days
just wasn't up for grabs
Bm
And now you got my
underlocking key
C
Remember, girls, that I was crowned
to Miss Baltimore Crabs!
D
C#
(Yeah, way back in one million
D
years BC!)
(Cha cha cha!)
Verse 5
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
Am
Brenda clearly went too
D
far one night
G
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
Girls, lesson learned
G
We'll keep our ... tight!
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
And now it's time to...
Am
D
G
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Bb
Get out your claws and let
Ab
the games begin
Verse 6
Bbm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Bbm
Eb
Just how many sweat ers do you own?
Three? (Aw!)
Ab
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Ab
What color is your private
princess from?
Aqua? (Aw!)
Bbm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Bbm
Come back when daddy buys you
Eb
Ab
a new nose
(Remember)
Cm
What Mrs. Von Tussle
Ab
says 's gold.
Verse 7
Bbm
Eb
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Bbm
Eb
Listen people, can I be frank?
Ab
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Ab
You're twist was crap and kid,
your pony stanks!
Bbm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
What's that move,
Bbm
Eb
Ab
a scratch for fleas and ticks?
(Remember)
What Mrs. Von Tussle says sticks
Verse 8
Db
Too short, too tall, too big, too small
My God, what's on your face?
Cm
You're not what
Velma's public wants to see
Db
But I can dream this world would
seem a much more lovely place
Eb
D
If everybody here in looked
Eb
like me!
E
(Cha cha cha!)
Verse 9
Bm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
E
Bm
E
And finally, I hate to sound cruel
A
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Verse 10
Would you swim in an integrated pool?
I sure would, I'm all for integration,
it's the new frontier
A
Not in Baltimore, it isn't
Verse 11
Bm
E
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Darling, well,
Bm
E
this just is not your day
A
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Guys, Amber, take her away!
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