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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks easy guitar chords by 
Bloodhound Gang
N/A•
Verse 1
A
G
A
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant
Bm
I'll have the poo-poo platter
A
G
platter
A
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed
Bm
D
A
me in Home Ec. class
G
A
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in
Bm
A
G
the locker room kicked my ass
A
I said guys I'm like you I like
D
Monster Trucks too
Verse 2
Bm
G
Want to see how many push-ups I I can do?
A
I just wish I was queer so
D
I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
A
Queer guys that don't dig
Verse 3
D
A
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
G
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
A
But if I were handsome just imagine
Bm
D
how great it would be
A
G
A
Incognito as gay though but not actually
Bm
that way though pseudo homo
Verse 4
Bm
A
Phony
G
A
Maybe it's a stupid theory
or maybe just stupidity
D
Bm
But if I was a queerbee in
G
the fashion industry
A
Scoring with a super model
would be easy
Bm
Verse 5
G
'Cause 'super model' means voluptuous
A
but is also is synonymous with
Bm
D
'Super dumb'
A
G
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd
A
treat me like a sister and soon
Bm
I'd become
A
Verse 6
G
A
That trusted friend that cares that
D
rubs her back and braids her hair
Bm
No it wouldn't be a week
G
before I'm in her underwear
A
D
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Verse 7
Chicks dig guys that are
A
Queer guys that don't dig
D
A
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
G
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
A
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my
Bm
D
denim it's what's in my genes
A
The
Verse 8
G
A
only smoked meat the only sausage
Bm
I would eat is made by Jimmy
A
Dean
G
A
See I'm not to keen on
D
the smell of Vaseline
Bm
No I'm not Princess Di and
G
I don't want to be a queen
Verse 9
A
D
Bm
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
A
G
A
G
E
D
Bm
A
G
A
G
E
G
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to
A
Bm
D
change my name to Dirk or Lewis
A
G
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist
A
his name is Kip he's got a lisp he
Bm
A
Talks like this
Verse 10
G
A
And wear my mother's lingerie
D
learn the songs of Broadway
Bm
And appreciate Depeche Mode
G
and avant garde ballet
A
Bm
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Verse 11
Chicks dig guys that are
A
Queer guys that don't dig
Bm
Chicks dig guys that are
D
A
D
A
Queer guys that don't dig
Bm
Chicks dig guys that are
Verse 12
A
Queer guys that don't dig
Bm
D
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
G
A
D
A
Bm
A
See
Bm
D
G
Bm
A
D
A
Bm
A
Bm
D
G
Bm
A
D
A
I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Bm
A
And I don't shave my heiny
Verse 13
Bm
D
Don't shave my heiny
G
Bm
A
D
A
Bm
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
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