Key: Ab major•
Verse 1
but how come every time I celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus,
I gotta gain 14 pounds?
That's ridiculous.
I put my tree up at 210
and I'm fitting to take it down at 224.
That's in four days! Four days!
Cuatro for the Spanish folks.
Thank God Jesus didn't stretch
his birthday celebration another week
or I'd be getting training wheels
surgically sewed
to my daggone muscular hind end.
It never stops with the food.
I done eat pies, and cakes, and cookies,
Gm
Ab
and soups, and candies,
and the neighbor girl.
with a tapered ten -pound Christmas turd.
I love the Lord Jesus,
and I'm glad he's wrapped in
and laid in a manger,
I just wish I had a willpower.
I surrender to a frosted gingerbread cookie
quicker than a shirtless Mexican hiding in shrubbery
after a cop come at him
with flashlights.
Boy, that's good skinny folks say,
Db
Ab
just don't eat late.
Why, it's easy for them to say.
Good lord, skinny folks
is always out on dates and stuff.
Us fat son of bitches ain't
got nothing to do
but sit home on the couch,
watch TV,
and Teddy Grahams.
deal again.
And if it fails like the last twelve,
then hello frosted gingerbreads.
Db
Ab
Db
Boy, I love food. Get her done.
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsAb Gm Eb Db
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