A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying
A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying easy guitar chords by Bloodhound Gang

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    • Intro 1


    Verse 1
    I 
    was lonelier 
    than 
    Kunta Kinte at a 

    Merle 
    Haggard 
    concert 

    That night 
    I 
    strolled 
    on 
    into 
    Uncle 

    Limpy's Hump Palace 
    lookin' 
    for 
    love 

    It 
    had been 
    a while 

    In fact, 
    three 
    hundred 
    and 
    sixty-five 

    had 
    had 
    come 
    and went 

    Since 
    that 
    midnight 
    run 
    haulin' 

    hog to 
    Shakey 
    Town 
    on 
    I-10 

    I 
    had 
    picked 
    up this 
    hitchhiker that 

    was sweatin' 
    gallons 

    Through 
    a pair 
    of Daisy 
    Duke 
    cut-offs 
    and 
    and 

    one 
    of those Fruit 
    Of The 
    Loom 
    tank-tops 

    Well, 
    Well, 
    that night 
    I 
    lost 

    myself 
    to ruby 
    red 
    lips 

    Milky 
    white 
    skin 
    and 
    baby 
    blue 
    eyes 

    Name 
    was 
    Russell 

    Verse 2
    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    bet
    ter 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Yes, 
    a 
    lap 
    dance 
    is so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Well 
    I 
    find 
    it's 
    quite 
    a 
    thrill 

    When 
    she 
    grinds 
    me 
    against 
    her 
    will 

    Yes 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Verse 3

    Well, 
    faster 
    than 
    you can 
    say, 

    "shallow 
    grave" 

    This 
    pretty 
    little 
    thing 
    come up 
    to me 
    and starts 

    kneadin' 
    my 
    balls 

    Like hard-boiled 
    eggs 
    eggs 

    in 
    a tube 
    sock 

    Said 
    her name was 
    Bambi 
    and I 
    said, 

    "Well that's 
    a coincidence 
    darlin' 

    'Cause I 
    was just 
    thinkin' 
    about 

    skinnin' 
    you like 
    a deer" 

    Well 
    she 
    smiled, 
    had 
    about 
    as much 

    teeth 
    as a Jack-O-Lantern 

    And And 
    And I went 
    on 
    to tell 
    her 
    how I 

    would 
    wear her 
    face 
    like 
    a mask 

    As I 
    do my 
    little 
    kooky dance 

    And 
    then 
    she told 
    me to shush 

    I 
    guess she 
    could sense 
    my 
    desperation 

    'Course, 
    it's hard 
    to hide 
    a hard-on 

    when when you're 
    dressed 
    like 
    Minnie 
    Pearl 

    Verse 4
    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    bet
    ter 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Yes, 
    a 
    lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Well 
    I 
    find 
    it's 
    quite 
    a 
    thrill 

    When 
    she 
    grinds 
    me 
    against 
    her will 

    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Verse 5

    So, 
    Bambi's 
    goin' 
    on about 
    how 
    she can 

    make 
    all my 
    fantasies 
    come 
    true 

    So 
    I 
    says, 
    "Even 
    this 
    one 

    I have 
    where Jesus 
    Christ 

    Is 
    jackhammering Mickey 

    Mouse 
    in the 
    doo-doo 
    hole 

    hole 

    With 
    a lawn 
    dart 
    as 
    Garth 
    Brooks 

    gives birth 
    to 
    something 

    Resembling 
    a 
    cheddar 
    cheese 
    log 
    with almonds 

    on Santa 
    Claus's 
    tummy-tum?" 

    Well, 
    Well, 
    ten 
    beers, 

    twenty 
    minutes 
    and thirty 
    dollars 
    later 

    I'm 
    parkin' 
    the beef 
    bus 
    in 
    tuna 

    town 
    if you know 
    what I 
    mean 

    Got 
    to nail 
    her back 
    at 
    her trailer 

    Heh, 
    that 
    rhymes 

    I have 
    to 
    admit 
    it was even 

    more of 
    a 
    turn-on 

    When 
    When I found 
    out 
    she 
    was doin' 

    me 
    to buy 
    baby 
    formula 

    Verse 6
    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    bet
    ter 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Yes, 
    a 
    lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Well 
    I 
    find 
    it's 
    quite 
    a 
    thrill 

    When 
    she 
    grinds 
    me 
    against 
    her 
    will 

    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Verse 7

    Day 
    or so 
    had 
    passed 
    when 

    I 
    popped 
    the clutch 

    Gave 
    the 
    tranny a spin 

    and slid 
    on 
    into 

    The Stinky 
    Pinky 
    Gulp 
    N' 
    Guzzle 

    Big 
    Rig 
    Snooze-A-Stop 

    There There 
    There I was 
    browsin' 
    through 

    the latest 
    issue 
    of "Throb" 

    When 
    I saw 
    Bambi 
    starin' 
    at 
    me from 

    the 
    back 
    of a 
    milk 
    carton 

    Well, 
    my 
    heart 
    just 
    dropped 

    So, 
    I decided 
    to do 
    what 

    any good 
    Christian 
    would 

    You 
    can 
    not 
    imagine 
    how 
    difficult 
    it is 
    to 

    hold a half 
    gallon 
    of moo 
    juice 

    And polish 
    the 
    one-eyed 
    gopher gopher 

    when your 
    doin' 
    seventy-five 

    In 
    In an 
    eighteen-wheeler 

    I 
    I never 
    thought 
    missing 
    chil

    dren could 
    be 
    so 
    sexy 

    Did 
    I say 
    that 
    out 
    loud? 

    Verse 8
    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    bet
    ter 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Yes, 
    a 
    lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 

    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Well 
    I 
    find 
    it's 
    quite 
    a 
    thrill 

    When 
    she 
    grinds 
    me 
    against 
    her 
    will 

    Yes, 
    a lap 
    dance 
    is 
    so 
    much 
    better 
    when 
    the stripper 
    is 
    cry
    in' 

    Outro 1





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