A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying chords by 
Bloodhound Gang 
Key: D major•
Verse 1
Merle Haggard concert
Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five
Since that midnight run haulin'
hog to Shakey Town on I-10
was sweatin' gallons
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Through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and and
one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops
myself to ruby red lips
Name was Russell
Verse 2
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Yes, a lap dance is so much better
Verse 3
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Well, faster than you can say,
"shallow grave"
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This pretty little thing come up to me and starts
kneadin' my balls
Like hard-boiled eggs eggs
Said her name was Bambi and I said,
'Cause I was just thinkin' about
skinnin' you like a deer"
teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern
And And And I went on to tell her how I
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And then she told me to shush
I guess she could sense my desperation
when when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl
Verse 4
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Yes, a lap dance is so much better
Verse 5
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So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can
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make all my fantasies come true
So I says, "Even this one
I have where Jesus Christ
Mouse in the doo-doo hole
hole
With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks
gives birth to something
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Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds
on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
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Well, Well, ten beers,
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twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna
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Heh, that rhymes
I have to admit it was even
When When I found out she was doin'
me to buy baby formula
Verse 6
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Yes, a lap dance is so much better
Verse 7
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Day or so had passed when
Gave the tranny a spin
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle
Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop
the latest issue of "Throb"
When I saw Bambi starin' at me from
Well, my heart just dropped
any good Christian would
hold a half gallon of moo juice
when your doin' seventy-five
In In an eighteen-wheeler
I I never thought missing chil
Did I say that out loud?
Verse 8
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Yes, a lap dance is so much better
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Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Outro 1
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsD A G Gm
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