Key: Eb major
Intro 1
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Verse 1
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All the seats at the Sunday masses
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Filled with the masses' massive
asses
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Classes pass as fast as molasses
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Ceremonial reading glasses
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Read a little bit of Leviticus
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All the kids are a little too little for this
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All the parents nod in agreement
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I think I can vaguely see what He meant
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It's too early in the morning, glory
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To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
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Assuring the assured that they
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need not bother
When God, in verse forty-five
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Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
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He meant that people all from the start
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Each have 'slaves' within their
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hearts
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Things that we have sold or bought
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That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
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God calls us to set these free
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Free our hearts from slavery
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And then as God goes on to explain
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The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
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Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
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In the back, I sit and I nod
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To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
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My God they're starting to pray
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And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
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dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
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Dear good all seeing being
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My way or the highway Yahweh
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The blue balled anti-masturbator
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The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
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For making me both rich and white
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And though this is your day of rest
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I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
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beyond this steeple
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Wars and drugs and homeless people
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Sadness where there should be joy
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Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
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A world in darkness needs your light
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So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
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But my dog just had surgery
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If you could fix that first?
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Jeses
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De borah
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
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in a holy place
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Hail Mary full of Grace
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Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
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I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
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so the bros can't cope
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The bros can grope but the
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bros can't cope
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They've been in love and
they've been addicted
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Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
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If you've been a dick
under Benedict
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But you can't have Benedicts
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Because there's only one pope
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And only one dick
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What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
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Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
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unless in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
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Because the gender ratio
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is one to ten
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Winos at the Eucharist station,
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trans-gendered-substantiation
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Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
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Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
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It was Oedipus those holy nights
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The holy motherfucking christ
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I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
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Cruising the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
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And blast FEMA
You're too late,
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we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
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Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
Hey Macarena
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