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Rant chords by 
Bo Burnham 
N/A•34 views•
Key: Eb major•BPM: 120
Intro 1
D
Bm
D
Bm
D
Bm
D
G
Bm
Verse 1
Bm
All the seats at the Sunday masses
D
Filled with the masses' massive
asses
D
Classes pass as fast as molasses
G
D
Ceremonial reading glasses
Bm
Read a little bit of Leviticus
D
All the kids are a little too little for this
D
D
All the parents nod in agreement
G
D
I think I can vaguely see what He meant
Bm
G
Bm
It's too early in the morning, glory
D
To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
D
G
Assuring the assured that they
Bm
need not bother
When God, in verse forty-five
D
Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
E
D
He meant that people all from the start
G
Each have 'slaves' within their
D
hearts
Bm
Things that we have sold or bought
D
That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
D
God calls us to set these free
G
D
Free our hearts from slavery
Bm
And then as God goes on to explain
D
The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
G
D
Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
Bm
In the back, I sit and I nod
D
To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
D
My God they're starting to pray
G
D
Bm
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
D
dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
Bm
Dear good all seeing being
D
My way or the highway Yahweh
Bm
D
Bm
The blue balled anti-masturbator
D
The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
G
D
For making me both rich and white
Bm
And though this is your day of rest
D
I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
D
beyond this steeple
G
D
Wars and drugs and homeless people
Bm
Sadness where there should be joy
D
Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
E
D
A world in darkness needs your light
G
So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
Bm
But my dog just had surgery
D
If you could fix that first?
D
G
Jeses
D
De borah
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
Bm
in a holy place
D
Hail Mary full of Grace
D
G
D
Bm
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
D
I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
Bm
so the bros can't cope
G
The bros can grope but the
D
bros can't cope
Bm
They've been in love and
they've been addicted
D
Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
Bm
D
If you've been a dick
under Benedict
E
D
But you can't have Benedicts
G
Because there's only one pope
D
And only one dick
Bm
D
Bm
What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
D
Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
D
unless in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
Bm
D
Because the gender ratio
E
is one to ten
D
Winos at the Eucharist station,
G
trans-gendered-substantiation
D
Bm
Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
D
Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
D
It was Oedipus those holy nights
G
The holy motherfucking christ
D
Bm
I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
D
Cruising the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
G
And blast FEMA
You're too late,
D
we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
G
D
Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
Hey Macarena
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