Rant chords by Bo Burnham
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Intro 1
(D major) (B minor) (D major)
(B minor) (D major) (B minor) (D major)
(G major) (B minor)
Verse 1
All the seats (B minor) at the Sunday masses
(D major) Filled with the masses' massive
asses
Classes pass as fast as molasses (D major)
(G major) Ceremonial (D major) reading glasses
Read a little bit of Levit (B minor) icus
(D major) All the kids are a little too little for this
All the (D major) parents nod in agree (D major) ment
I (G major) think I can vaguely (D major) see what He meant
(B minor) It's too (G major) early in the (B minor) morning, glory
To (D major) read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
(D major) Assur (G major) ing the assured that they
need not bother (B minor)
When God, in verse forty-five
Said (D major) Said that slaves are okay to buy
(E major) He meant that people all (D major) from the start
(G major) Each have 'slaves' within their
(D major) hearts
(B minor) Things that we have sold or bought
That are (D major) forced to pick our
moral cotton
God calls us to set these (D major) free
(G major) Free our hearts from slavery (D major)
(B minor) And then as God goes on to explain
The lo (D major) gistics of buying and
selling slaves
(G major) Uh, (D major) he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
(B minor) In the back, I sit and I nod
(D major) To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
My God they're starting to pray (D major)
(G major) And over the music I can (D major) hear them (B minor) say
Dear God, dear Lord,
dear vague (D major) muscular man with a beard or a sword
Dear good all (B minor) seeing being
(D major) My way or the highway Yahweh
(B minor) The blue (D major) balled anti-mas (B minor) turbator
The (D major) great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
For (G major) making me both rich and (D major) white
And (B minor) though this is your day of rest
I (D major) come to you with one request
There's so much pain
beyond this steeple (D major)
(G major) Wars and drugs and (D major) homeless people
(B minor) Sadness where there should be joy
(D major) Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
(E major) A world (D major) in darkness needs your light
So (G major) I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
(B minor) But my dog just had surgery
If you could fix that first? (D major)
(D major) (G major)
Jeses
(D major) De borah
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Verse 2
Messing's fingers
in a (B minor) holy place
(D major) Hail Mary full of Grace
(D major) (G major) (D major) (B minor)
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
(D major) I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
so the bros can't (B minor) cope
(G major) The bros can grope but the
(D major) bros can't cope
(B minor) They've been in love and
they've been addicted
(D major) Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
(B minor) If you've (D major) been a dick
under Benedict
But you (E major) can't have (D major) Benedicts
Because (G major) there's only one pope
And (D major) only one dick
What, (B minor) yeah, a (D major) dick on a (B minor) pope is
(D major) Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
un (D major) less in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
(B minor) Because (D major) the gender ratio
is one to ten (E major)
(D major) Winos at the Eucharist station,
trans- (G major) gendered-substantiation
Jesus Je (D major) sus (B minor) Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
Get (D major) back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
It was Oedipus (D major) those holy nights
The (G major) holy motherfucking christ
(D major) I'm a (B minor) blasphemah
Post-Katrina
Cruis (D major) ing the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
And blast (G major) FEMA
You're too late,
we're fucked we don't (D major) need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
(G major) Turn up your nose, strike (D major) that pose
Outro 1
Hey Macarena
Rant
Bo Burnham
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