Key: Eb major
Intro 1
E
C#m
E
C#m
E
C#m
E
A
C#m
Verse 1
C#m
All the seats at the Sunday masses
E
Filled with the masses' massive
asses
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Classes pass as fast as molasses
A
E
Ceremonial reading glasses
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Read a little bit of Leviticus
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All the kids are a little too little for this
E
E
All the parents nod in agreement
A
E
I think I can vaguely see what He meant
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A
C#m
It's too early in the morning, glory
E
To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
E
A
Assuring the assured that they
C#m
need not bother
When God, in verse forty-five
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Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
F#
E
He meant that people all from the start
A
Each have 'slaves' within their
E
hearts
C#m
Things that we have sold or bought
E
That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
E
God calls us to set these free
A
E
Free our hearts from slavery
C#m
And then as God goes on to explain
E
The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
A
E
Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
C#m
In the back, I sit and I nod
E
To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
E
My God they're starting to pray
A
E
C#m
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
E
dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
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Dear good all seeing being
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My way or the highway Yahweh
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E
C#m
The blue balled anti-masturbator
E
The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
A
E
For making me both rich and white
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And though this is your day of rest
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I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
E
beyond this steeple
A
E
Wars and drugs and homeless people
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Sadness where there should be joy
E
Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
F#
E
A world in darkness needs your light
A
So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
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But my dog just had surgery
E
If you could fix that first?
E
A
Jeses
E
De borah
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
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in a holy place
E
Hail Mary full of Grace
E
A
E
C#m
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
E
I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
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so the bros can't cope
A
The bros can grope but the
E
bros can't cope
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They've been in love and
they've been addicted
E
Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
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E
If you've been a dick
under Benedict
F#
E
But you can't have Benedicts
A
Because there's only one pope
E
And only one dick
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E
C#m
What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
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Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
E
unless in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
C#m
E
Because the gender ratio
F#
is one to ten
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Winos at the Eucharist station,
A
trans-gendered-substantiation
E
C#m
Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
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Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
E
It was Oedipus those holy nights
A
The holy motherfucking christ
E
C#m
I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
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Cruising the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
A
And blast FEMA
You're too late,
E
we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
A
E
Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
Hey Macarena
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsE C#m A F#
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