Key: D major
Intro 1
Db
B
A
B
A
Diarrhea's
Verse 1
Gbm
A
coming back,
Gbm
A
Gbm
A
my family's under attack
Em
A
Thought I could
prove I'm not a baby,
but now all of us need saving
C
B
Sure a lot is happening,
but I wish I brought my napkin thing
Gbm
Db
A
It might have helped to
calm us down
Don't make a sound!
But why are you doing all this?
Look, I'm not bad
C
Ab
C
Ab
C
Ab
Even though I'm not a bad person
So what kills one carnivore?
And to turn it into something worthy
Db
Bb
Eb
Ab
Trust me, I'm sure you will agree
Eb
D
Would you like to hear
B
Gbm
B
Ab
Bb
my mas ter plan?
Ab
Bb
Bbm
Db
Okay, can you answer faster?
Bbm
Db
Cause I asked you
Would you like to hear my
Um, yes?
Db
B
I'm so glad that you asked
Ebm
Gbm
You see, I'm in the Fishoulder
Family Trust
He means the poor part
They're bad because they're poor
Db
Db
Okay. Okay. I said okay.
if you've been convicted of a felony.
C
Ab
Db
And every single one of them has been.
All except for Cousin Calvin,
A
Gbm
because he never got caught.
C
Fm
So, I frame him, and boom! Now,
Db
if something unfortunate happens to Calvin and Felix,
Fm
F
Fm
Db
Not me. No, no, no.
Why would they?
Something unfortunate
is going to happen to us?
Uh, yes.
Surprise.
Oh, poo.
Wait, both of us?
You were so insistent
Db
Db
I bought an outfit. Yes, we know!
It won't make it out from under the pier.
to make it to Cuba?
Hmm, I think we might have gotten a
Eb
Bb
little too excited about the sub idea.
I mean, isn't it just an old ride?
Db
B
Yes, it runs on tokens.
But not the best frame job, right?
down in front of our restaurant
Ah, right.
I didn't bury him in front
and I didn't want to wait six years!
SIX YEARS!
A
C#
A
C
Easy, easy.
G
C
Maybe we should hold off on the questions.
A top -rate murder!
Em
D
Em
B
I shoot Mr. Carney with Calvin's gun.
F#m
C#
or whatever yucky stuff was
G
C
I leave the stupid foot sticking
G
out
C
Em
D
so someone would be sure to see it.
But little did I know
that some numbskull back
working for the city
was gonna scoop up that pile
D
Em
without even checking for dead carnies!
E
Db
I come back, I've got nobody,
I didn't know where they brought the dirt,
B
Bm
and it's not like I could go around asking,
Gbm
Db
this tall, kind of a biter?
your stupid pipe burst
and saved the day.
frame job back on,
and it's true what they say,
good things happen to good people.
Wait a second,
Bbm
My, much more efficient and profitable
B
Ebm
And indoor motion simulator rides
Cotton Candy Dan had to die.
It's going to be so worth it.
Because business dreams are
about business.
They're not about dreams.
That's not true.
All right, then.
I think I got it figured out.
Ab
C
You're going to all get in the sub,
Db
Ab
Abm
B
Db
Ab
Oh, no, I don't think that's right.
You won't be able to get out.
Then you died.
Metal wheels on metal tracks
Whoops, the drapes, they catch on fire
Up it goes into the mole hill
of cute and fluffy fairy birdies
So they don't come to life?
And then the mole hill
E
C
That's what we call dad's back
We do? Oh, oh, oh,
F
Bb
F
lems with this plan
You were burning the fire too?
Db
sugar,
Gbm
A
B
amusement pier.
It's gonna go up the stairs,
A
F#m
over the roof of this stupid room.
And our some investigators
Bm
B
B
A
F#m
will never suspect a thing.
C#
to get back to the gym, which is my alibi.
I went there just an hour ago.
I said the steam room was too steamy.
Ab
Ab
I made a pretty damn big show.
and that's how I got here now.
F
C#
I just sneak back in through the window
I've been at the gym three hours.
I don't know if you have a three
-hour gym buddy.
F#m
C#
No, you're too pasty.
Also, your mega park is mega dumb.
I want to amend my earlier statement.
Here we go. I'm not that evil,
F
Eb
C#
but I'm feeling evil today!
Outro 1
C#
Eb
C#
Eb
C#
Eb
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