My Kindly Friend The Censor chords by
Momus

N/A

Key: B major•

Verse 1
D#m D#m 6
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I insert my (censored noun)
E E 
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B B 2
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Into your welcoming (omit)
C#m C#m 4
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E E 
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C#m C#m 4
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And ease  it slowly down
Em Em 
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Bbdim Bbdim 
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A A 
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Bbdim Bbdim 
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The whole length of your  (unfit)
Em Em 
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I begin to (taboo verb) you
F#m F#m 2
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As you gaze  back with a smile
E E 
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Which almost triggers my
(word missing)
D D 
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E E 
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Bm Bm 2
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E E 
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D#m D#m 6
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B B 2
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D#m D#m 6
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But don't
(unacceptable)

Verse 2
D#m D#m 6
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My enormous (word deleted)
E E 
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Is in between your lips
C#m C#m 4
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You clasp my (crossed out plural)
Bbdim Bbdim 
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D# D# 6
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With one      hand on  my hips
Em Em 
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I feel your warm (unsuitable)
F#m F#m 2
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I'm about to (slang, taboo)
E E 
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I love being (questionably phrased)
D D 
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E E 
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You clearly love it too

Verse 3
D D 
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But there is someone standing over us,
C#m C#m 4
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here  for our own good
Bm Bm 2
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Who takes the words out of our
A A 
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mouths as we do the deed
D D 
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He collects  them in a bag
F#m F#m 2
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with a peevish   little sigh
Bm Bm 2
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In case innocents or grandmothers
E E 
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should somehow happen by
D D 
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Oh our kindly friend the censor has
C#m C#m 4
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our best    interests at heart
B B 2
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C# C# 4
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But my love song is now missing all its most important parts
D#m D#m 6
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Interlude 1
E E 
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C#m C#m 4
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Bbdim Bbdim 
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Em Em 
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F#m F#m 2
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E E 
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D D 
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Bm Bm 2
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E E 
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Ebm Ebm 6
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Verse 4
Ebm Ebm 6
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I give you (inadmissible)
E E 
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You respond with (phrase removed)
C#m C#m 4
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I     (cut) you then
(blue- pencil) you
A A 
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With (obscene: restricted
Bbdim Bbdim 
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use)
Em Em 
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We  (substitute a euphemism)
F#m F#m 2
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I     (censored) in your
(too obscene)
E E 
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Finally (edit) on your (blank)
D D 
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Just thinking of it makes me want
E E 
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to (criminal act)

Verse 5
D D 
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But there is someone standing over me,
C#m C#m 4
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here  for my own good
G#dim G#dim 6
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Bm Bm 2
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D D 
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He hands me back the words I
A A 
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need to sing about my deed
D D 
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They are wrapped up like confetti in a
F#m F#m 2
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small brown paper bag
Bm Bm 2
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With some non- transparent sellotape so
E E 
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you can't peep through the cracks
D D 
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Oh my kindly friend the censor
C#m C#m 4
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I am shocked
A A 
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C C 
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Em Em 
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C C 
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Bbdim Bbdim 
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C#m C#m 4
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F# F# 2
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G# G# 4
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Bbm Bbm 
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When I open it and
Bbdim Bbdim 
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C# C# 4
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Bbdim Bbdim 
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E E 
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read: 'vagina', 'penis', 'suck', 'cunt', 'cock'