Dave & Al chords by Frank Zappa

SimplifiedEm · B · A · D · Bm …

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Verse 1
Em 
 (E minor) Alright, hey, hey listen
Before we go on to the next song
I got a really important piece of business
I've gotta take care of
Now, there's this guy
B 
Em 
That uh, works for  (B major) us, he sells the T- shirts  (E minor) 
B 
Em 
His name is Dav (B major) id  (E minor) Dikowitz

Verse 2
Em 
B 
Now, some of you might  (E minor) know Dav (B major) id
Em 
An (E minor) d    if you know him
B 
You realize that David  (B major) is
Em 
a  (E minor) lonely guy
A 
Em 
 (A major) He hasn't  (E minor) been pooched in three days
B 
Em 
His nec (B major) tar has  (E minor) built up, so to speak
And he asked me
If I could help him get a girl tonight

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Verse 3

Now, normally I don't do this because

I mean, of course being

a pimp is my hobby

But in Dikowitz's case

This is taking it above and

beyond the call of duty

As they say in the trade

Verse 4
Em 
Bm 
So here, here's  (E minor) the  plan  (B minor) 
Em 
 (E minor) Somewhere out there, I know
Somewhere in this building there is a girl
Or a female type object
A 
Em 
Who desires the compan (A major) ionship  (E minor) of   a nice,
Jewish boy
Bm 
Em 
Who  (B minor) sell  (E minor) s    T- shirts
Now, I'm gonna make you
a two for one offer
Here's the deal

Verse 5
Em 
If you're a girl  (E minor) and you wanna
Bm 
And you wanna submit to  (B minor) 
B 
Em 
 (B major)  (E minor) Dikowitz's advances
If you'll go for Dikowitz
And you got a friend or sister
That would like to spend some
time with Al Malcon

Verse 6
Em 
Who's an a,  (E minor) who's another
B 
Em 
Bm 
 (B major) Dangerously  (E minor) lonely guy  (B minor) 
B 
Em 
Had a little prob (B major) lem here the  (E minor) other night
I understand, I don't like to be
Bm 
spreading gossip  (B minor) around
Em 
But  (E minor) this is New York

Verse 7
Em 
B 
Bm 
Al  (E minor) is a very  (B major) lonely  (B minor) person
Em 
 (E minor) And  he came here to the
show the other night
With his girlfriend
C 
G 
D 
He  (C major) introduced me to  (G major) her in the  (D major) back
Em 
She was  (E minor) a very

Verse 8
B 
nice person  (B major) 
D 
They went  (D major) and  they sat in the
Em 
audience to  (E minor) see  the show
D 
She says, excuse  (D major) me for a minute
Em 
I'm go get, gon (E minor) na   go get a drink
D 
Em 
She  (D major) disappeared,  (E minor) didn't come back
D 
Until five o'c (D major) lock in the morning
Em 
 (E minor) Told she was drunk said:

Verse 9
Em 
"Al,  (E minor) I    hate you"
Bm 
Em 
In an exorcist voice  (B minor)  (E minor) 
And told him to move out
Now, we got these two
D 
Em 
 (D major) Very nice  (E minor) people who need it
G 
Em 
 (G major) Now,  (E minor) as a matter of fact

Verse 10
Can we get a spotlight down here?
D 
Em 
 (D major) Just so you see  (E minor) what
the merchandise is like
B 
Em 
A 
This is  (B major) David Dikowitz, right here  (E minor)  (A major) 
Em 
D 
Em 
Now,  (E minor) obviously,  (D major) he is  (E minor) nice
He is Jewish and he is a boy, right?
A 
Em 
 (A major) So,  (E minor) 

Verse 11
you see what you're in for
If you want, if you wanna
Bm 
do it with David  (B minor) 
Em 
 (E minor) Just come down and introduce yourself
G 
There,  (G major) alright, see?
Em 
 (E minor) What did I tell you?

Verse 12
Em 
 (E minor) 
Congratulations,
Bm 
Em 
 (B minor)  (E minor) what's your name?
Bm 
Karen  (B minor) 
Em 
 (E minor) Karen?
Bm 
Em 
I now pronounce  (B minor) you, David  (E minor) an   d Karen
B 
Off  (B major) that way
G# 
B 
Em 
D 
A 
Em 
 (G sharp major)  (B major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (A major)  (E minor) 

Verse 13
A 
Em 
 (A major)  (E minor) 
G 
Em 
Alright  (G major)  (E minor) 
Now, that's what I like about New York
G 
You get results  (G major) 
D 
Em 
 (D major) Ah,  (E minor) now where's Malcon?
Bm 
Em 
If we can do  (B minor) the  same  (E minor) thing
for Malcon
We'll really be doing it

Verse 14

Where is he?

Maybe we'll find him later

Okay but where?

Interlude 1

Al, come here

Verse 15
Em 
 (E minor) Ladies and gentlemen
This is my friend, Al Malcon
He's also a very nice person
Would you like to give a
sales pitch yourself?

Verse 16
Em 
Well, I'll  (E minor) tell ya
I don't know if there's
anybody really cute
D 
Em 
You know,  (D major)  (E minor) and I stay away from
You know, young girls
G 
Anybody about 18 or close, you know  (G major) 
Bm 
 (B minor) Blonde hair
Em 
F#m 
D 
 (E minor)  (F sharp minor)  (D major) 

Verse 17
A 
Em 
 (A major) He wants a  (E minor) virgin with nice breath
Bm 
Em 
Yeah,  (B minor) vir   (E minor) gin  would be
G 
nice but  (G major) 
Em 
 (E minor) Right there, you (almost there)
A volunteer right there
G 
Where?  (G major) 
Em 
No, no, oh, she's  (E minor) go   ing
No, no, don't touch me
No, get away, no

Verse 18
Em 
Well, listen  (E minor) 
G 
What?  (G major) 
Em 
 (E minor) Right here
What's your name?
Lisa
Em 
Lisa, this is Al  (E minor) 

Interlude 2

Verse 19
Em 
It's happening  (E minor) to me
(It's happening)
It's happening to you
She has no idea what's going to
be happening to her
B 
Well, who does any (B major) more
Em 
It's the  (E minor) 20th century

Verse 20
Em 
Wait here This  (E minor) 
Bm 
girl loves  (B minor) you
Em 
 (E minor) Chris, tell him to come over here
Tell him to come over here?
C'mere

Verse 21

What's your name? Chris

Well, let the audience see you,

c'mon

Verse 22
Oh my god
Em 
 (E minor) 
B 
Now, isn't this  (B major) better than com
Em 
Bm 
 (E minor) puter dating?  (B minor) 
Em 
Em 
 (E minor) Why don't you guys go  (E minor) over there
and get acquainted?
Okay, on with the show