baby chords by Stephen Lynch

SimplifiedG · Am · D · Em · C …

GuitarPianoUkulele

G
Am
D
Em
C
Esus4

Intro 1

My lady gives birth today,

Verse 1
G 
Am 
D 
G 
I run to her room right away,
Am 
D 
She smiles with glee then
Em 
C 
hands her to me,
D 
I look at my newborn and say
G 
Damn that's an

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Verse 2

ugly baby!

Damn that's an ugly-ass baby!

baby!

I'm feeling quite concerned,

My semen must have turned,

Damn that's an ugly baby

Verse 3
Am 
D 
G 
This is just what I feared,
Am 
D 
G 
Her head is mishappen and weird,
Am 
D 
She's skinny like a twig,
Esus4 
Em 
C 
At least    her nuts are big,
But her hair color doesn't
D 
match her beard

Verse 4
G 
Am 
D 
Damn that's an ugly baby!
G 
Am 
Goddamn that's an ugly-ass baby!
D 
baby!
Am 
D 
I give the doc a smack and say,
Am 
D 
Can't you stuff her back in,
C 
D 
Damn that's an ugly baby
G 

Verse 5
Am 
And when she smiles I find,
G 
D 
Am 
Shea mcgowan comes to mind,
It makes me want to cry,
G 
D 
Am 
When I look into her good eye,
I always wanted kids,
G 
D 
Am 
Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?

Verse 6

Then the doctor calls me in,

Mr. lynch, she has a twin...

Verse 7
G 
Am 
D 
Damn that's a good lookin baby!
G 
Am 
D 
One for two on the good lookin babies,
Am 
D 
I almost start to weep,
Am 
D 
Now this one we can keep,
C 
D 
G 
Cause that was an ugly ass baby
Am 
Damn that's an ugly baby,

Verse 8

Damn that's an ugly ass baby

Damn that's an ugly baby

Verse 9
D 
(I said damn damn damn!
I wanna throw that shit in the dumpster)
G 
Am 
Well she's got one good tooth
D 
and one ear and one eye,
G 
Am 
And thank god just one nose
D 
but its on her left thigh,
The thought of changing
G 
her di aper each day,
Am 
D 
Or powdering her ass
G 
Am 
with that tail in the way,
D 
G 
Am 
I think I could get a good
D 
price on ebay