Key: Ab major
Verse 1
Is this where you join the Canadian
Armed Forces?
Do you have guns?
Yes, we do.
I'm in. Well done.
Welcome aboard.
First, the paperwork.
Name? Ed. Ed Gruberman.
I can't wait to boot some head.
All right.
Well, would you like Army,
F#
G
Navy, or Air Force?
F
Uh, Army.
Now, which courses would you like?
Courses?
Yes, to learn a career.
I don't want a career.
I want a gun.
I want a big gun.
Everyone wants a free education.
It's our incentive to enlist.
Now, pick three
from this pamphlet.
Introduction to International Politics,
F
G
Computers 101, Antique Restoration?
Yes. That qualifies
you to work on our helicopters.
Look, don't you have any courses
with guns?
Well, yes, last page.
Intro to ammo, advanced wounding,
creative bazookas.
Ooh, ooh, I'll take all these.
Fine, any mental diseases
or physical deformities?
Okay, I'll take paranoia, three nipples,
No, no, no, didn't mean to get...
What? Never mind.
F
G
Would you like in on the pension plan?
No. club?
No. Twin or queen size?
Look, I want a gun.
I want to kill people.
What? Who?
Uh, Afghanis.
We're not at war with them.
We will be after I start killing them.
No, we don't kill people.
Not even Al -Qaeda? Oh, no, no, no.
They're dangerous.
We don't want to get them angry.
What a wimp!
I'm not a wimp.
I'm extremely tough.
I do advanced Pilates.
You're a wimp,
have you shot anyone lately?
Well the Canadian Army
isn't about shooting people,
it's about career training
and being all you can be on a limited
budget.
I want to bathe in a geyser of
enemy blood.
That hardly sounds sanitary.
Screw sanitary,
I want to blow things up
like in Shaving Ryan's Privates.
No, no.
C
G
The movie was Saving Private Ryan.
What movie?
The... I... I... I... What? I...
Look, let me explode a few buildings.
No!
F
G
Our insurance rates will go up.
What are you?
A bunch of girls?
C
G
No! Well...
Except for the girls.
There's girls in the army?
And they're just as tough as the men.
So they don't shoot anyone either,
Well, that's not what we do.
Wimp, what do you do?
Whamp? Parades! Whamp! Typing!
Whamp! Filing! Whamp!
before I do something!
What are you going to do?
File me out?
Wait a minute.
Just what are you doing
here anyway?
I told you. I want a gun.
I want a lot of guns.
I want to start killing anyone
I disagree with.
Oh, you want the American Army.
Oh, okay.
Thank you. Bye -bye.
You're welcome. you
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsG F F# B C
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