All I Want For Christmas Is A Pony With A Jetpack chords by
Call Me Malcolm
Call Me Malcolm
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Key: C major•
Intro 1
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Am
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G

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C
C

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F
F

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G

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C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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Dm
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I hate
Verse 1
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G
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Santa cos he doesn't exist
C
C

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It doesn't matter anyhow
F
F

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cos he's stupid
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Christmas tree and stockings
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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All add up to nothing
C
C

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Too many years,
F
F

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too many presents been wasted
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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My Nintendo and my He
-Man playset
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Snowman and your good chin
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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They're not welcome round here
Am
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G
G

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BUST A HOLE! I love me dead Santa
C
C

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Don't want his socks
Am
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G
G

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on your snowflake jumper
C
C

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Shove your good, tidy,
Am
Am

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G
G

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toughy rasps out the back
F
F

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Cos all I want for Christmas
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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is a pony with a jetpack
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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Dm
Dm

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F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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I hate Santa cos he always brings me
C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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Glad tidings of Mariah Carey
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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The season is always dead
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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It filled me with such hatred
Am
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G
G

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BUST A HOLE! I'll only text Santa
C
C

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Don't want your socks
Am
Am

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G
G

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on your snowflake jumper
C
C

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Shove your good tidings up
Am
Am

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G
G

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your arse out the back
F
F

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Cos all I want for Christmas
G
G

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is a pony with a jetpack
C
C

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It was a snowy Christmas Eve
F
F

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G
G

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in the Malcolm Houses
C
C

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and all were inebriated,
F
F

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G
G

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including the mountains
C
C

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F
F

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With all of a sudden, and into the fray,
G
G

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C
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F
F

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a sprinkling of a jingling of a tinkling sleigh
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Out stepped a bearded, rotund old man
C
C

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F
F

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with a suit of ruby red and an arctic tan
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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His jolly demeanour and amiable ways
G
G

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C
C

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were replaced by a grimace and
F
F

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G
G

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foul -mannered gaze
C
C

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Huzzah! Derrick said,
F
F

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G
G

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Enjoy it while it
C
C

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Screw you! cried Santa
F
F

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G
G

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You ungrateful fuck!
C
C

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G
G

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I spent Christmas Eve giving
F
F

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G
G

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presents and cheer
C
C

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G
G

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while you sat around drinking
F
F

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G
G

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whiskey and beer
C
C

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Well, that's a fair point
F
F

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G
G

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I've said dead and contrite,
C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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with that Santa left, running to the light
C
C

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The moral of the story,
F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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I guess if we leave too, is don't be a bitch,
F
F

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G
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C
C

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F
F

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or Santa will hate you!
C
C

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F
F

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C
C

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Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!
F
F

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C
C

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F
F

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Buster Hawes!
G
G

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Am
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G
G

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A lonely dead Santa
C
C

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Don't watch your socks
Am
Am

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G
G

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on your snowflake jumper
C
C

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Shove your good tidings up
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Am

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G
G

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your arse out the back
F
F

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G
G

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I just want a pony!
C
C

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Am
Am

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G
G

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Buckle up, it's not only Dead Santa
C
C

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Don't want your socks
Am
Am

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G
G

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or your snowflake jumper
C
C

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Shove your good tidings
Am
Am

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G
G

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up your arse out the back
F
F

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Cos all I want for Christmas
G
G

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C
C

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is a pony with a jetpack
F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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Pony with a jetpack
F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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Pony with a jetpack
F
F

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G
G

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Pony with a jetpack
C
C

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Dm
Dm

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F
F

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G
G

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