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A Kitchen Porter's Tale chords by
The Cleaners From Venus
The Cleaners From Venus
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N/A•
Key: G major•
Intro 1
G
G

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D
D

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C
C

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G
G

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C
C

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G
G

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D
D

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C
C

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Em
Em

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G
G

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Verse 1
C
C

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G
G

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It was back
C
C

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in the bistro in the days of yore
Em
Em

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Where I washed up dishes
B
B
2

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and I mopped the floor

There was
C
C

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G
G

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Christmas drizzle, nearly never snow

There was
A
A

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Am
Am

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Slade and
D
D

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Wizard on the radio
G
G

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And the chef was
D
D

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C
C

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Marcus, who was my good mate
D
D

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Em
Em

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While the downstairs waitress
B
B
2

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was a girl cold cased
C
C

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And we smoked our rollies
G
G

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by the backdoor bin
Am
Am

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As the trays went out and
D
D

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then the trays came in

Merry
Am
Am

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Bm
Bm
2

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G
G

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Christmas to you one and all,
C
C

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now onward sail
D
D

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Am
Am

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Bm
Bm
2

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This is just another humble
G
G

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Pidgeon
C
C

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D
D

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C
C

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Bm
Bm
2

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Potter's tale
D
D

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G
G

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Now in those dark days and
C
C

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even darker nights
D
D

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Em
Em

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There was much rejoicing,
B
B
2

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there were festive fights
C
C

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But the thing I best recall
G
G

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was what a laugh
A
A

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That we had with front of
D
D

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house and kitchen staff
G
G

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D
D

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There were some disasters,
C
C

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there were sometimes tears
D
D

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Em
Em

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But the roar of
B
B
2

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Christmas echoes down the years
C
C

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With the office parties and
G
G

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the restaurant full
Am
Am

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The bosses and the
D
D

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secretaries on the ball

Merry
Am
Am

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G
G

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Christmas to you boys and girls,
C
C

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now drink your ale
D
D

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Am
Am

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This is just a humble
G
G

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C
C

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Es sex kitchen porter's
D
D

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C
C

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Bm
Bm
2

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D
D

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C
C

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tale
Bm
Bm
2

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D
D

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Am
Am

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Em
Em

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B
B
2

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Meanwhile in
D
D

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December chill,
A
A

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C
C

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B
B
2

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F#m
F#m
2

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a priest walks briskly up

East
B
B
2

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Hill
Em
Em

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B
B
2

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And he opens up the doors of

St.
D
D

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James the

Great
A
A

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And the bells ring
Em
Em

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Bm
Bm
2

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Christmas
B
B
2

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E
E

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Em
Em

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E
E

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Day
A
A

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B
B
2

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E
E

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A
A

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B
B
2

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G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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We were all much younger than us,
C
C

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you may be

With a
Em
Em

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B
B
2

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Christmas crush you have a secret
C
C

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Which can never happen if
G
G

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the parts don't fit
Am
Am

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D
D

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Trust me now, you'll all get over it
G
G

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D
D

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For the buff young potters
C
C

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all become old men
Em
Em

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And the girls they fancy
B
B
2

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will be old as them
C
C

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With their wildflower summers
G
G

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underneath the plough
Am
Am

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G
G

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Learn to recognise your
D
D

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good times now

Merry
Am
Am

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Christmas boys and girls
Bm
Bm
2

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C
C

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D
D

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Don't let that love -like fail
Am
Am

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Bm
Bm
2

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C
C

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This is just another humble kitchen potter's
D
D

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C
C

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Bm
Bm
2

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A
A

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D
D

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C
C

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tale
Bm
Bm
2

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A
A

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D
D

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C
C

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D
D

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Bm
Bm
2

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D
D

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D
D

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An acoustic guitar head with tuning pegs

Tuning:Standard Open Tuner
Chords

  • G

  • D

  • C

  • Em

  • B

    2

  • A

  • Am

  • Bm

    2

  • F#m

    2

  • E

Capo: 0

Transpose: 0

0

Autoscroll20%

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Frequently asked questions

The original key of A Kitchen Porter's Tale by The Cleaners From Venus is G major.

The primary chords used in A Kitchen Porter's Tale are G, D, C, Em, B, A.

No capo is required for this song.

Yes, this version uses open chords like G, D, C, Em, making it a great song for beginner guitarists.

The tempo of A Kitchen Porter's Tale is approximately 125 beats per minute.

You can easily change the key of A Kitchen Porter's Tale using our Transpose button located in the toolbar. This will automatically update all chord diagrams on the page to match your new key.

Yes! Click the Print icon to generate a clean, one-page version of the chords and lyrics for A Kitchen Porter's Tale. This is perfect for practicing offline or adding to a physical songbook.

Yes, we have integrated a Mini-Tuner directly on this page. Use it to quickly check your string pitch (Standard Tuning: E A D G B E) before you start playing along with The Cleaners From Venus.

Absolutely. Click the Save or Heart icon to add A Kitchen Porter's Tale to your account. You can access all your saved songs under My Library at any time.

You can view the full chord sheet and lyrics for A Kitchen Porter's Tale by The Cleaners From Venus on this page for free. We provide high-quality, verified chords to help you start playing immediately.