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The Poodle Lecture chords by
Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa
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Key: F major•
Verse 1
A
A

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FZ:
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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thereafter God made three big
A
A

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Mistakes. The first mistake was called MAN,
G
G

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the second mistake was called
A
A

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WO- MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of
G
G

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A
A

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Em
Em

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A
A

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THE POODLE. Now the reason
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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The poodle was such a big mistake is because God
A
A

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originally wanted to build a
G
G

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C
C

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A
A

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Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now a long time ago,
G
G

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A
A

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the poodle used to be a very
G
G

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Attractive dog. The poodle had hair
A
A

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evenly distributed all over its small
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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Piquant canine type BODY. That's the way
G
G

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it used to be, the poodle used to be a
A
A

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G
G

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Regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess

you do too. (Oh, I have to
A
A

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Kiss you? Oh okay.)
G
G

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Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used
Verse 2

to look good,
A
A

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you know the
G
G

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A
A

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Regular dogs that used to hang out in

the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
G
G

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A
A

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Didn't think anything of it. You know,
G
G

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A
A

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they didn't use to make fun of it in the
G
G

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Olden days. But the WO- MAN, as you

know, has always been much smarter than the
A
A

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MAN.
Em
Em

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A
A

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Guy In The Audience:
G
G

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You're
Verse 3

the best!

FZ:
Verse 4
A
A

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That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away,
G
G

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okay. Now you're interrupting my
A
A

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G
G

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Story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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the Tower of Power or what? Oh no

No, it's one of those dope fiend
G
G

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devices, take it away. Now listen:
Em
Em

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The WO- MAN has always
Verse 5
A
A

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been much smarter than the MAN,
G
G

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you know this is true.
A
A

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And so it was since the beginning of time.
G
G

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The MAN would do anything to get
A
A

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Some pussy. And that's why the WO-
G
G

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MAN always had control over him.
Verse 6
A
A

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In the beginning the WO- MAN looked
G
G

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A
A

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the MAN directly into the eye and said: "I
G
G

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A
A

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Tell you what, why don't you go get a job because
G
G

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I could use a few nice things
A
A

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Around the house. Mainly what I need is a clipper,

a scissors, and a pair of

Zircon encrusted tweezers." (Thank you
G
G

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very much.)
A
A

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An d of course
Verse 7

the MAN did his duty as
G
G

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they say in the trade. He went out and he
A
A

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Got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed
G
G

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that broom around for about a
A
A

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Dollar- 2.98 an hour, brought his money back

to the garden of Eden and gave that
G
G

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Em
Em

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Money to the WO- MAN.
Verse 8
A
A

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G
G

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The WO- MAN ran out the back door of the garden
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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of Eden, went directly to the
G
G

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A
A

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Hardware store, got the clippers,
G
G

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the scissors and the zircon encrusted
A
A

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G
G

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Tweezers and came back and, while the
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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MAN was very tired from having his job,
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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While he was sleeping, the WO- MAN got a hold
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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of the POODLE. Because the WO- MAN
Em
Em

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A
A

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Had noticed earlier that the

length and proportion of the poodle oral
G
G

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A
A

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Appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words,

ladies and gentlemen, was very
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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Much to her liking, except that this dog
A
A

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had too goddamn much hair on it. It
G
G

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A
A

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Didn't have the disco look that's
G
G

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so popular nowadays.
Verse 9
A
A

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And so the WO- MAN sat out to modify
G
G

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A
A

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the aforementioned dog. Let me get a little
G
G

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Uh, visual aid . . .
Verse 10
A
A

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G
G

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Now she took the dog and she cleaned
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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it up a little bit. You see, she took a
G
G

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A
A

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Little bit of the back- part here, around the neck,

the thorax, the tootsies.
G
G

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Got all of the unwanted extranious material off
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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this area which we shall call
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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Burbank. Then she set the little sucker up like this,
G
G

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A
A

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really nice, got his
G
G

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G
G

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A
A

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Mouth set up like that. And squatted right ON HIM.
G
G

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A
A

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A
A

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Looking down into the dog's
G
G

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Eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes,
A
A

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G
G

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do you know what she said to the

Dog? She said:

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An acoustic guitar head with tuning pegs

Open Tuner
Chords

  • A

  • G

  • Em

  • C

Capo: 3

Transpose: 0

0

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Frequently asked questions

What is the original key of The Poodle Lecture?

The original key of The Poodle Lecture by Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa is F major.

What are the main chords for The Poodle Lecture?

The primary chords used in The Poodle Lecture are C, Bb, Gm, Eb.

Do I need a capo to play The Poodle Lecture?

To play in the original key, place your capo on the 3 fret.

Is The Poodle Lecture beginner-friendly on guitar?

Yes, this version uses open chords like C, Bb, Gm, Eb, making it a great song for beginner guitarists.

What is the tempo (BPM) of The Poodle Lecture?

The tempo of The Poodle Lecture is approximately 107 beats per minute.

How do I transpose the chords for The Poodle Lecture?

You can easily change the key of The Poodle Lecture using our Transpose button located in the toolbar. This will automatically update all chord diagrams on the page to match your new key.

Can I print the guitar chords for The Poodle Lecture?

Yes! Click the Print icon to generate a clean, one-page version of the chords and lyrics for The Poodle Lecture. This is perfect for practicing offline or adding to a physical songbook.

Is there a tuner available for The Poodle Lecture?

Yes, we have integrated a Mini-Tuner directly on this page. Use it to quickly check your string pitch (Standard Tuning: E A D G B E) before you start playing along with Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa.

Can I save The Poodle Lecture to play later?

Absolutely. Click the Save or Heart icon to add The Poodle Lecture to your account. You can access all your saved songs under My Library at any time.

Can I access the guitar chords for The Poodle Lecture for free?

You can view the full chord sheet and lyrics for The Poodle Lecture by Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa on this page for free. We provide high-quality, verified chords to help you start playing immediately.