Half a Man chords by
Stephen Lynch

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Simplified

Key: G major

Intro 1

Verse 1

All my days

I live with my disgrace

I'm afraid to show my face

Or at least take off my underwear

Verse 2
G G 
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See I was born
Bb Bb 
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G G 
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Like a half way neuteredpet
Bb Bb 
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G G 
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I don't have a matching set
Bb Bb 
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It's a part of me
F F 
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That just ain't there
Eb Eb 6
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Please, don't stare

Verse 3
G G 
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Well I'm a gambling man
Bb Bb 
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F F 
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with out two dice
G G 
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I'm like Uncle Ben with
Bb Bb 
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F F 
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only one grain of rice
G G 
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Bb Bb 
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Oh to have two testis would be so  nice
F F 
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Eb Eb 6
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G G 
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But I'm half a   man
F F 
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Eb Eb 6
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G G 
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Yeah, I'm half a   man

Verse 4
G G 
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Wanna die
Bb Bb 
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G G 
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End it all, just call it quits
Bb Bb 
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G G 
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I can't find a cup that fits
Bb Bb 
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F F 
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And at baseball games I feel so dumb
Eb Eb 6
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When I hear â??ball oneâ??

Verse 5
G G 
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Oh, my God
Bb Bb 
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G G 
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How could you have been so cruel
Bb Bb 
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G G 
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To give me one family jewel
Bb Bb 
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And the one that's there
F F 
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must feel so sad
Eb Eb 6
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He's a lonely nad

Verse 6
G G 
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Well I'm a marathon
Bb Bb 
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runner with just one leg
F F 
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G G 
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Bb Bb 
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F F 
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I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
G G 
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Oh, I want another testi
Bb Bb 
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Do I have to beg?
F F 
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Eb Eb 6
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I'm half a man

Interlude 1

Verse 7
G G 
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Well I'm a  tweedle dee
Bb Bb 
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with no tweedle dumb
F F 
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G G 
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And I'm a  Siskel and an
Bb Bb 
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F F 
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Ebert with just one thumb
G G 
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Bb Bb 
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And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
F F 
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Eb Eb 6
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G G 
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I'm just half a man
F F 
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Eb Eb 6
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Yeah, I'm half a man
G G 
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TunerE A D G B E

ChordsG Bb F Eb

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