Key: A minor•
Verse 1
I'm going to show you:
A) How to con someone using
their own greed,
B) That you won't feel bad 'cos they're trying to con you anyway,
and
Verse 2
C) TAKING THEIR MONEY!
F
Am
running the beats is just getting people's confidence.
This scam only works 'cos that man
thinks he's working this scam
And that you man off his mark
No, not Piers, let's call him Farquhar
Verse 3
Am
E
Anyway get Farquhar to crawl
Em
Am
in to a bar with his dog
But you're gonna take all his money.
And call to the bar to look
after a dog for a dart
C
Am
But it was worth more than his car
Verse 4
Am
Em
This, by the way,
Am
requires that you find and supply Farquhar
With an animal, and a life,
from your local park.
E
Em
Get a nice dog that doesn't bark
Am
C
But not so nice that someone might
Em
E
Anyway, using this technique you're gon
But you're not gonna care,
cos he's gonna fucking deserve it
Verse 5
An Honest John you can't
drag down (Exactly!)
Con- do- lee get conned
F
Am
G
When they think they're the cunning
Verse 6
Am
G
Neighbour you won't con
Now listen, get Farquhar
Em
E
to dart out the bar
Am
C
And just shop for some garm's, maybe
E
Em
I would go shopping cos'
But whatever,
Verse 7
just have Farquhar down the road
Am
E
Now you walk in the bar,
Currently vibe him and start on
Verse 8
about the dog you own.
Am
E
Start asking the barman,
Tell him, 'This is a very
rare breed of animal.'
E
Am
Last time I lied my manager swiped me
E
Am
Tell him it's worth 600 quid an d you would pay
handsomely if you were to accept finance
At all
Verse 9
(Sometimes...)
An Honest John you can't drag down (...Sometimes I think
I should just go completely...)
Condolee get conned
F
G
When they think they're
G
Am
G
Am
Neighbour you won't con an Honest John (Keep listening though,
it's important that
Verse 10
You keep listening...)
Am
E
Now take all his shopping off him
Looking straight gutted a bit later on
E
Am
He should order a jar, talk at the bar
Ensure he looks calm,
warm with the barman
And generally start conversating on.
Verse 11
falling apart
Am
C
About how he's arsed up some chance
That his rent's not getting payed up.
Verse 12
E
And that this mutt is not
the greatest of his worries.
Verse 13
Am
E
And like 'ching!', the barman
Am
your barman will haggle and charge harder
In greed of the scent of the scheme in his head. (That's right,
neighbour!)
Verse 14
An Honest John you can't
drag down
Condolee get conned
When they think they're the
he can stitch you up for.)
Neighbour you won't con
Am
G
Am
(How does that work? Cos' everytime
it's based around someone who thinks they're
Conning you.)
Verse 15
E
Am
They'll never imagine the whole
C
Am
scenario is prepared solely for him
Why should he?
That sort of paranoia can get
E
Am
you in the loony bin!
As I have come to realise,
E
F
Am
C
running the beats is just getting people's confidence.
E
Am
It's all one big con .
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