Best Tuning App Ever
MaddProfessor
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Toolbag ted from birkenhead easy guitar chords by 
Ivor Biggun
N/A•
Verse 1
G
D
G
I
always have been handy,
Am
I did a bit of do it myself
G
D
Until it knackered my eyesight and
G
compromised my health
Then a geezer popped his napper,
Am
over the garden wall
G
D
"Good day", he said "My name is Ted
G
Can I be of any help at all?"
Verse 2
Em
Bm
Well I should have said, "No ta,
Em
no thanks, no probs"
But instead I told 'im all
A
D
my little jobs
C
Bm
An' now he's round my house
D
A
D
as soon as I walk out my door
G
Rippin' my missuses drawer's out
and banging on the bedroom floor
Verse 3
G
Am
Bm
He's Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead,
G
Bm
C
the randy handy man
D
He walks in when I walk out
G
And does a bloody sight better
D
than ever I can
G
When a lady says "I'm desperate
Am
D
An' only your spanner will do"
G
Bm
Old Ted he seems to understand
C
G
Bm
He bolts 'round at their command
G
Am
G
With his nuts held tightly in his hand
C
D
Rub rub, hammer hammer,
G
bang, screw
Interlude 1
G
Verse 4
G
Where does he get the energy?
Am
How can he manage it all?
D
He flashes all around the chimney
Bm
G
He hammers up and down the hall
If a lady's got a problem
Am
That's been troubling her all day
A
D
An expert prod with his
G
dyno- rod
D
G
And the problem goes away
Em
Bm
Mi- ssis Brown she called him
on the phone
Em
"Oh please come round my
A
D
husbands not at home..."
Am
He re- arranged her portico
D
Am
Bm
G
And banged her beam all day
Stripping her chimney breast out
And sticking in his R.S.J.
Verse 5
G
Am
Bm
He's Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead,
C
Bm
the randy handy- man
C
D
No job too big, no job too small
G
He'll be there whenever he can
Am
And if a damsel in distress
G
D
says "What am I to do?"
G
Am
Bm
He services her every need
C
G
Am
Bm
With charm, discretion, tact and speed
G
Am
Bm
And satisfaction guaranteed
C
D
G
Rub rub, hammer hammer, bang, screw
Verse 6
Em
Look at that easy action!
Look at that grace and style!
As a general rule his expert tool
Makes all the ladies smile
He's pulling out his plunger
And pumping fit to burst
In the capable hands of
Toolbag Ted
G
The customer comes first
D
Am
Bm
D
Verse 7
C
D
G
A
This merry Merseysider is always
Am
making housecalls
D
The ladies ring his number and this
G
randy handy scouse calls
Some husbands do not like it when he
Am
does what he does best
D
Bm
But most let him get on with it,
D
G
they're grateful for the rest
Em
And aren't you glad,
Bm
when an ex pert comes to call
Em
And sorts out your old boiler and
Am
A
D
doesn't charge at all?
C
D
Am
G
And in her darkest corners he
Am
D
G
will make a final stand
Halfway up her skirting with his
stopcock in his hand
Am
G
D
Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead, the
Verse 8
Am
Bm
C
randy handy- man
D
A knight in shining overalls
G
He'll be there whenever he can
Bm
Em
G
He never leaves a job half done
Am
G
and always sees it through
Bm
A set of drawers might need a knob
C
G
Am
Bm
A whatsit need a thingummy bob
G
Am
Bm
In fact he's always on the job
C
D
G
Rub rub, hammer hammer, bang,
Outro 1
screw
G
Am
D
Bm
G
C
D
G
Am
Bm
C
D
G
Am
Bm
G
C
D
G
Am
Bm
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Rose the Black Cat
“I mostly use this for tuning my guitar, which this app makes ridiculously easy. It also has a large selection of songs to play along to and it helps show you which chords to play as well how to make the shapes with your fingers.”
Got me back into playing
Tuliketsune
“I got this app to tune an old guitar, and noticed it has a feature that autoscrolls as I play chords to famous songs. For some reason, this was a lot more motivating for me than any other way of practicing guitar. Now I'm actually practicing and remembering the names of chords 🙂”
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Brad
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Very reliable tuner
theNewPaul
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This is the best guitar tuner ever.
Caleb Schafli
“It tunes your guitar accurately so you can get the best sound. I like all the other little games as well because they teach you how to play different chords and you can learn to identify the chords by listening to them and it is all offline.”
Great to tune and play
Lynae T
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