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Morman Xmas Dance Report chords by 
Frank Zappa
N/A•
Verse 1
D
My husband Frank had a very interesting gig tonight,
and I'd like him to tell you about it.
Em
D
Em
Can you tell me where was this dance
D
that you played tonight?
I played a wonderful dance
at the Mormon Church
F#
Recreation Hall
F#m
in Pomona.
D
What type of dance was this?
Well,
Em
this is the swingiest dance you've ever seen.
Man, this was really beautiful.
D
It was a Christmas dance
Eb
and this recreation hall
was about as big as our living room.
D
I dig it. It had a hardwood floor,
Eb
it had a little stage,
and on the floor
they had a basketball thing marked off,
E
D
and it was all decorated up,
you know, like they really
went to a lot of trouble.
They had these wires
going across the room like
Eb
that, and millions of them,
D
and they had these little threads
C#
coming down with cotton balls tied on the end
so it looked like snow
D
they had these trees
Em
E
D
these dead trees set up on
these pedestal deals
Ebm
all around the wall
D
Eb
then they were sprayed with snow
Fm
E
an d they had little ribbons
F#
Fm
bows and parasols
D
and little boofers
and all these things attached to them
and then they had these colored
lights
Eb
underneath lighting it up
E
it was real real lovely
D
And then they had the,
when you walked into the place,
D
they had like a beaded drape,
only it wasn't beads,
D
it was these little cotton
balls like snow,
tied onto threads,
D
and then they had the big crystal punch bowls,
and all these wonderful
Mormons
standing around there
D
getting ready to have this fine party.
So, Ray told me, he says,
you shouldn't smoke
when you go over there,
D
man, they don't like it. So I said,
oh man, he's just being too cautious
because he's a pretty tame guy.
How did you like the song?
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