Martyrdom Of St. Victor chords by Monty Python

SimplifiedG · C · F#m · F · Eb …

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Verse 1
G 
And it came to pass
that St. Victor was taken from this
C 
place to another place,
G 
where he was lain upon pillows of silk,
F#m 
and made to rest himself
amongst sheets of
G 
muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he
by maidens of the Orient.
For sixteen days and nights
stroked they him,
yea, verily, and caressed him.
F 
His hair ruffled they,
G 
and their fingers rubbeth
F 
they in oil of olives,
G 
and runneth them across all parts
of his body
Eb 
for as much as to soothe him.
G 
F 
And the soles of his feet licked they,
G 
and the upper parts of his thigh
did they anoint
with a balm of forbidden trees.
And with the teeth
of their mouths
nibbleth they the pointed bits at the top of his ears,
yea, verily,
C 
G 
and  did their tongues thereof
make themselves acquainted with
his most secret places.
G 
For fifteen days and nights
did Victor withstand these maidens,
F 
but on the sixteenth day he cried out,
G 
saying, This is fantastic, oh,
this is terrific.
F 
And the Lord did hear the cry of Victor,
G 
and verily came he down and
slew the maidens,
and caused their cotton -wool buds
to blow away
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
G 
And Victor, in his anguish,
cried out
that the Lord was a rotten bastard.
And the Lord sent an angel
F 
C 
to comfort Victor for the weekend.
G 
And entered they together the Jacuzzi.
B 
Here endeth the lesson.