Broken Hearts Are For Assholes chords by
Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa

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Key: A major
Verse 1
F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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F
F

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G
G

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Hey!
F
F

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G
G

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F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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Bb
Bb

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F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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Do you know what you are?
F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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You're an asshole!
Bb
Bb

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C
C

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G
G

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An AS SHOLE!
Verse 2
G
G

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Some of you might not
C
C

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Bb
Bb

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F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot
C
C

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G
G

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Bb
Bb

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F
F

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C
C

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G
G

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of misery
C
C

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But think a while and you will see...
Am
Am

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Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Verse 3
Am
Am

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Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Dm
Dm

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Are you an asshole too?
G
G

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Whatcha gonna do,
Interlude 1
'cause you're an asshole...
F
F

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G
G

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F
F

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G
G

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F
F

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G
G

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F
F

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G
G

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Verse 4
G
G

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Maybe you think you're a
C
C

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G
G

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F
F

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G
G

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lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too
C
C

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Bb
Bb

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C
C

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G
G

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tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
C
C

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Verse 5
And Dagmar
Without a doubt,
the ugliest son of a bitch I ever saw in my life
Em
Em

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Was his name...
C
C

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D
D

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G
G

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One Two Three Four!
Verse 6
D
D

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G
G

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The whiskers sticking out
C
C

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from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
Em
Em

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C
C

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Em
Em

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And And yet he was a beautiful lady
C
C

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Em
Em

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Nearly drove you insane
C
C

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Let's talk about
Verse 7
C
C

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Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
Em
Em

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And so you kissed a little sailor
C
C

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Tex Abel, starring in the latest
Em
Em

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Shepperton Production:
C
C

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Who had just blew in from Spain
Eb
Eb

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Bb
Bb

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C
C

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Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf You
Verse 8
Am
Am

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D
D

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You You sniffed the reeking
C
C

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buns of Angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
Em
Em

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And acted like it was cocaine
Verse 9
Cucumber pud annexed
C
C

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Dm
Dm

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to a fine whole-wheat loaf
loaf
D
D

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You were dazzled by the ex citing
C
C

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new costume of Ko-Ko
Then Then on Tuesday night,
Caesar's back in town
Em
Em

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B
B

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In a way you can't explain
D
D

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C
C

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Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag tag tag
Verse 10
team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with
Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds pounds
Em
Em

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pounds pounds of Samoan dynamite
Verse 11
Which gave your back an awful strain
C
C

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Volcanic Hell
G
G

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D
D

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But you came back on Sunday
C
C

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Em
Em

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for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town's finest...
Verse 12
C
C

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D
D

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But you forgot what I was sayin'
G
G

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'Cause you're an asshole,
D
D

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You're an asshole
That's right
G
G

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C
C

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You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Verse 13
D
D

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Yes, yes
You're an asshole,
G
G

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C
C

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you're an asshole
That's right
G
G

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You're an asshole,
C
C

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G
G

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you're an asshole
Verse 14
G
G

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C
C

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Now you been to The Grape 'n'
G
G

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you been to The Chest
C
C

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G
G

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'N' now I think you know what you
C
C

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G
G

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are: you're an asshole
Verse 15
G
G

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You say you can't live with what
C
C

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Bb
Bb

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C
C

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G
G

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you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole
C
C

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G
G

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too
You might pretend you ain't got one
C
C

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G
G

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C
C

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on the bottom of you,
Em
Em

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But don't fool yourself girl
Verse 16
C
C

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It's lookin' at you
Em
Em

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Don't fool yourself girl
C
C

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It's winkin' at you
Em
Em

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Don't fool yourself girl
Verse 17
C
C

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It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
G
G

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I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
C
C

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Ram it up yer poop chute
Verse 18
G
G

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Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
C
C

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Ram it up yer poop chute
G
G

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Fist fuck
Verse 19
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Verse 20
G
G

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Ram it up yer poop chute
C
C

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Pud!
Verse 21
G
G

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C
C

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G
G

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Don't fool yourself, girl
C
C

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It's goin' right up yer poop chute
G
G

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Don't fool yourself, girl
C
C

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It's goin' right up yer poop
G
G

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D
D

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C
C

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chute
(etc., repeats)
Verse 22
G
G

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C
C

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G
G

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Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...

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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsF C G Bb Am...

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