Beard Salesman
Beard Salesman

Beard Salesman easy guitar chords by Monty Python

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Guitar
Tuning

E A D G B E

Capo

Fret 5

Capo

Transpose

0

Capo

  • Am

  • Dm

  • Am

  • Dm

    • Verse 1
    How much, quick? 

    What? 

    It's for the wife. 

    Oh, 
    uh, 
    20 
    shekels. 

    Right. 

    What? 

    There you are. 

    Wait a minute. 

    What? 

    Well, 
    we're supposed to 
    haggle. 

    No, no, no, 
    I've got to get... 

    What do 
    you mean, no, no, 
    no? 

    I haven't got 
    time. 

    Well, give it back, 
    then. 

    No, no, no, 
    I just paid you. 

    But... 

    Yeah. 

    This bloke 
    won't haggle. 

    Won't haggle? 

    All 
    right. 

    Do we 
    have to? 

    Now, look, I 
    want 20 for 
    that. 

    I 
    just gave you 20. 

    Now, 
    are you telling me 

    that's not worth 20 
    shekels? 

    No. 

    Look at it. 

    Feel the quality. 

    That's not here goat. 

    All 
    right. I'll give you 19 
    then no 

    no no come on do 
    it properly 

    What 
    haggle properly 
    this isn't worth 

    19? 

    You just said it was 
    worth 20. 

    Oh 
    dear. 

    Oh 
    dear 

    Come 
    on haggle 
    all right. 

    I'll give you 10. 

    That's 
    more like it 10 

    Are 
    you trying to insult 
    me me 
    with a poor dying 

    grandmother 10 
    all 
    right? I'll give you 
    11 

    No, you're getting 
    it 11. 

    Did I 
    hear you right 11 
    this cost 
    me 12 

    you want to ruin 
    me 17 
    no no 
    no no 

    Seventeen. 

    Eighteen. 

    No, no, 
    you get a fourteen now. 

    All right, I'll 
    give you fourteen. 

    Fourteen? 

    Are you joking? 

    That's 
    what you told me to 
    say! 

    Oh, dear. 

    Oh, tell me what to 
    say, please! 

    Offer me 
    fourteen. 

    I'll 
    give you fourteen. 

    He's offering me 
    fourteen for this. 

    Fifteen. 

    Seventeen. 

    My last word. 
    I won't take a 

    penny less or strike 
    me dead. 

    Sixteen. 

    Done. 

    I'll still do business 
    with him. 

    Brian is on 
    the run from the 

    Romans, and 
    to avoid capture, 

    pretends to be a lobster. 

    Uh, no, 
    I'm sorry, 

    that's my handwriting. 

    It should be preacher. 

    Oh, that's right. 

    Preacher. 

    Actually, 
    I quite like lobster. 

    Brian is 
    on the run from the 

    Romans, 
    and to avoid lobster, 

    captures... 

    No, no, 
    there's no lobster. 


    Instead of lobster... 

    Yes, no, that's my handwriting. 


    That's teach you, 
    see, that's a 

    T. 

    Oh, under the lobster. 

    Just one more, 
    I think. 

    Brian is on 
    the run from the lobster, 

    and to avoid... 

    I'm sorry, I'm going to have 

    to stop you there. 

    Again? 

    He's actually 
    on the run from 
    the 

    Romans, you 
    see. 

    That's clearly not 
    lobster. 

    No, that 
    isn't, no, I agree. 

    I 
    grant you that looks a 
    bit like lobster. 

    That one 
    did, didn't it? 

    One 
    more time, please. 

    And off 
    you go. 

    Brian 
    is on 
    the run from the lobs... 

    from... 

    Sorry, can 
    we 
    go again? 

    Yes. 

    Brian 
    is on the run from 

    the 

    Romans and to avoid 
    capture, 

    pretends to 
    lob... to prevent... 

    Look, 
    we'll just cut 

    this whole thing. 

    Lobster's 
    getting rather intrusive, 

    isn't he? 

    We'll 
    cut this. 

    This'll be an edit. 

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