Architect's Sketch chords by Monty Python

SimplifiedG · D · Bb · C · A

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Verse 1
G 
Now, gentlemen, we have two basic
suggestions
for the architectural design of
this residential block.
And I thought it better that the architects
themselves
demonstrate the particular
D 
advantages of their designs.
G 
Ah,
Bb 
G 
that's probably  the first architect now.
Mr. Wiggin of Ironside
Good morning, gentlemen.
This is a model of a 12 -storey block
combining classical Neo -Georgian
features
with the efficiencies of
modern techniques.
C 
G 
The tenants arrive here in the entrance hall,
are carried along the corridor
on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort,
past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes,
towards the rotating knives.
The last 20 feet of the corridor
are heavily soundproofed.
blood pours down these chutes
and the mangled flesh slurps
into these large...
excuse me. yes? did you say knives?
rotating knives yes.
are you proposing to slaughter
our tenants?
does that not fit in with your plans?
no no it does not.
we asked for a simple block of flats.
ah I hadn't fully divined
your attitude towards the tenants.
you see I mainly design store
to houses. pity.
mind you this is a real butte.
none of your blood caked on the walls
and flesh flying
out of the windows
incommoding the passers -by
with this one.
C 
G 
my life has been leading up to this.
yes and well done but we wanted
an apartment block.
well may I ask you to reconsider?
you wouldn't regret this.
think of the tourist trade.
I'm sorry but we want a block of flats
and not an abattoir.
yes well that's the sort of blinkered
Philistine pig ignorance
I've come to expect from you non
-creative garbage.
You sit there on your loathsome spotty behind,
squeezing blackheads,
not caring a tinker's cuss
A 
for the struggling artist,
G 
you excrement,
you whining hypocritical toadies
with your colour TV sets
and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs
and your bleeding masonic secret
handshakes.
You wouldn't let me join would you,
you blackballing bastards?
Well I wouldn't become a Freemason now if you went
down on your lousy stinking knees
and begged me.
Well, we're sorry you feel that way,
but we did want a block of flats,
nice though the abattoir is.
Oh, sod the abattoir.
It's not important,
but if any of you could put in a word for me,
I'd love to be a mason.
Masonry opens doors,
I'd be very quiet.
I was a bit on edge just now,
but if I were a mason,
I'd sit at the back
and not get in anyone's way.
G 
Thank you.
I've got a second -hand apron.
Thank you.
G 
I  nearly got in at Hendon.
Thank you.
Well, have we anyone
else to see?
G 
Yes, there's the Span
ish Inquisition.
I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.