Albuquerque chords by 
"Weird Al" Yankovic 
Key: F major•
Intro 1
F
Bb
F
Bb
Verse 1
F
Way back when I was just a
Bb
little bitty boy
F
Living in a box under the stairs
Bb
In the corner of the basement of the house
F
Half a block down the street
Bb
from Jerry's Bait shop
F
You know the place
Bb
F
Well anyway, back then life was going swell
Bb
F
and everything was just peachy!
Bb
F
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact,
Bb
that every single morning
F
Bb
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl
F
of sauerkraut for breakfast
Bb
Aww!
F
Big bowl of sauerkraut
Bb
F
Every single morning
Bb
It was driving me crazy
Verse 2
F
I said to my mom
Bb
I said "Hey, mom,
F
what's up with all the sauerkraut?"
Bb
And my dear, sweet mother
F
She just looked at me
Bb
like a cow looks at an oncoming train
F
Bb
And she leaned right down next to me
F
Bb
F
And she said "It's good for you!!"
Bb
F
And then she tied me to the wall
Bb
and stuck a funnel in my mouth
F
Bb
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Verse 3
F
Until I was twenty six and a half years old
Bb
F
That's when I swore that someday
Bb
Someday I would get outta that basement
F
Bb
and travel to a magical, far away place
F
Where the sun is always shining
Bb
and the air smells like warm root beer
F
Bb
And the towels are oh so fluffy
F
Where the Shriners and the lepers
Bb
play their ukuleles all day long
F
And anyone on the street will gladly
Bb
F
shave your back for a nickel
Bb
F
Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah
Verse 4
Well, let me tell you, people,
Bb
it wasn't long at all
F
before my dream came true
Bb
Because the very next day,
F
Bb
a local radio station had this contest
F
To see who could correctly guess the number
Bb
F
of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
Bb
I was off by three,
F
but I still won the grand prize
Bb
F
Bb
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Chorus 1
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albaquerque
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
A- a- a- Albaquerque
Bb
Oh yeah
Verse 5
F
You know, I've never been
Bb
on a real airplane before
F
Bb
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
F
Except that I had to sit
Bb
between two large Albanian women
F
Bb
With excruciatingly severe body odor
F
And the little kid in back of me
Bb
kept throwin' up the whole time
F
Bb
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper
F
and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was
Bb
F
Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah,
Bb
three of the airplane engines burned out
F
And we went into a tailspin
Bb
and crashed into a hillside
F
Bb
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball
F
everybody died
Bb
F
Except for me
Bb
You know why?
Chorus 2
F
Bb
'Cause I had my tray table up
F
Bb
And my seat back in the full upright position
F
Bb
Had my tray table up
F
Bb
And my seat back in the full upright position
F
Bb
Had my tray table up
F
Bb
And my seat back in the full upright position
F
Bb
Ah ha ha ha
F
Ah ha ha
Bb
Ah
Verse 6
F
So I crawled from the twisted,
Bb
burnin' wreckage
F
I crawled on my hands and knees
Bb
F
for three full days
Bb
F
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase
Bb
and my garment bag
F
And my tenor saxophone
Bb
and my twelve-pound bowling ball
F
And my lucky, lucky autographed
Bb
F
glow-in-the-dark snorkel
Bb
F
But finally I arrived at the world famous
Bb
F
Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Bb
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
F
And you can eat your soup
Bb
right out of the ash trays if you wanna
F
Bb
It's OK, they're clean
F
Well, I checked into my room
Bb
and I turned down the A C
F
And I turned on the SpectraVision
Bb
And I'm just about to eat
F
that little chocolate mint on my pillow
Bb
That I love so very, very much
Verse 7
F
Bb
When suddenly, there's a knock on the door
F
Bb
Well now, who could that be?
F
I say "Who is it?"
Bb
No an swer
F
"Who is it?"
Bb
There's no an swer
F
"Who is it?"
Bb
They're not sayin' anything
F
Bb
So, finally I go over and I open the door
F
and just as I suspected
Bb
F
It's some big fat hermaphrodite
Bb
with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut
F
and only one nostril
Bb
F
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
Bb
F
So anyway, he bursts into my room
Bb
and he grabs my lucky snorkel
F
Bb
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
F
Bb
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
F
And he's like "Tough"
Bb
And I'm like "Give it"
F
And he's like "Make me"
Bb
And I'm like "'Kay"
F
So I grabbed his leg
Bb
and he grabbed my esophagus
F
And I bit off his ear
Bb
and he chewed off my eyebrows
F
And I took out his appendix
Bb
and he gave me a colonic irri
Verse 8
F
(gation)
Bb
Yes indeed, you better believe it
F
And somehow in the middle of it all,
Bb
F
the phone got knocked off the hook
Bb
And twenty seconds later,
F
I heard a familiar voice
Bb
And you know what it said?
F
Bb
I'll tell you what it said
It said
Chorus 3
F
Bb
"If you'd like to make a call,
F
please hang up and try again"
Bb
F
"If you need help, hang up
Bb
F
Bb
and then dial your opera tor"
F
Bb
"If you'd like to make a call,
F
Bb
please hang up and try again"
F
Bb
"If you need help, hang up
F
Bb
and then dial your opera tor"
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
In A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
Verse 9
F
Well, to cut a long story short,
Bb
F
he got away with my snorkel
Bb
But I made a solemn vow right then and there
F
that I would not rest
Bb
F
I would not sleep for an instant until
Bb
the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
F
Bb
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
F
So I got in my car and I drove
Bb
over to the donuts shop
F
And I walked on up
Bb
to the guy behind the counter
And he says
F
Bb
"Yeah, what do ya want?"
F
Bb
Verse 10
F
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
Bb
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
F
Bb
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
F
I said "You got any
Bb
Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
F
He said "No, we're outta
Bb
Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
F
Bb
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
F
Bb
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
F
Bb
I said "You got any bear claws?"
Solo 1
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
"No, we're outta bear claws"
Verse 11
F
Bb
I said "Well, in that case,
F
Bb
in that case, what do you have?"
F
Bb
He says "All I got right now is this box
F
Bb
of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
F
Bb
I said "OK, I'll take that"
F
So he hands me the box
Bb
and I open up the lid
F
and the weasels jump out
Bb
And they immediately latch onto my face
Verse 12
F
Bb
And start bitin' me all over
F
Bb
Oh man, they were just going nuts
F
Bb
They were tearin' me apart
F
You know, I think it was just about that time
Bb
That a little ditty started
F
goin' through my head
Bb
I believe it went
F
Bb
a little something like this
F
Doh
Bb
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
F
Bb
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
F
Bb
Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me
F
Oh, oh God
Bb
Ah, aah, aah
Verse 13
F
Bb
I ran out into the street with these
F
flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Bb
Wavin' my arms all around
F
and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Bb
F
Like a constipated wiener dog
Bb
And as luck would have it
F
That's exactly when I ran
Bb
into the girl of my dreams
F
Bb
Her name was Zelda
F
Bb
She was a calligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite and
F
Bb
hair the color of strained peaches
F
I'll never forget the very first
Bb
thing she said to me
F
She said "Hey,
Bb
you've got weasels on your face"
F
Bb
That's when I knew it was true love
F
Bb
We were inseparable after that
F
Bb
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
F
We even shared the same piece
Bb
of mint-flavored dental floss
F
Bb
The world was our burrito
F
Bb
So we got married and we bought us a house
F
And had two beautiful children,
Bb
Nathaniel and Superfly
F
Bb
Oh, we were so very very
F
Bb
very happy, aw yeah
Verse 14
F
But then one fateful night,
Bb
Zelda said to me
F
Bb
She said "Sweetie pumpkin?
F
Do you wanna join
Bb
the Columbia Record Club?"
F
Bb
F
Bb
I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby"
F
"I'm just not ready
Bb
for that kind of a commitment"
F
Bb
So we broke up and I never saw her again
F
Bb
But that's just the way things go
Chorus 4
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
In A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
Solo 2
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
Verse 15
F
Anyway, things really
Bb
started lookin' up for me
F
Because about a week later,
Bb
F
I finally achieved my lifelong dream
Bb
That's right, I got me
F
Bb
a part-time job at The Sizzler
F
I even made employee of the month after
Bb
F
I put out that grease fire out with my face
Bb
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty
F
jealous of me after that
Bb
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
F
Ok, like one time,
Bb
I was out in the parking lot
F
Tryin' to remove my excess
Bb
earwax with a golf pencil
F
When I see this guy Marty
Bb
F
Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa
Bb
up the stairs all by himself
F
So I, I say to him, I say
Bb
"Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
F
Bb
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
F
Bb
"No, I want you to cut off my arms
F
Bb
and legs with a chainsaw"
Verse 16
So I did
F
Bb
And then he gets all indignant on me
F
Bb
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
F
Well, that's just great
Bb
How was I supposed to know that?
F
Bb
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
F
Bb
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname,
F
Torso-Boy
Bb
So what's he complaining about?
F
Say, that reminds me
Bb
of another amusing anecdote
F
Bb
This guy comes up to me on the street
F
Bb
And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days
F
Well, I knew what he meant
Bb
But just to be funny,
F
Bb
I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
F
And he's yellin' and screamin'
Bb
and bleeding all over
F
Bb
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
F
But he just keeps rolling around
Bb
on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
F
Bb
Verse 17
F
You know, completely missing
Bb
the irony of the whole situation
F
Bb
Man, some people just can't take a joke,
you know?
F
Bb
F
Bb
Anyway, where was I?
F
Bb
Kinda lost my train of thought
F
Bb
Uh, well, uh, OK
F
Anyway I, know it's kinda been
Bb
a roundabout way of saying it
F
But I guess the whole point
Bb
I'm tryin' to make here is
F
Bb
F
I hate sauerkraut
Bb
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
F
And, by the way, if one day
Bb
you happen to wake up
F
Bb
And find yourself in an existential quandary
F
Full of loathing and self-doubt
Bb
And wracked with the pain and isolation
F
Bb
of your pitiful meaningless existence
F
At least you can take
Bb
a small bit of comfort in knowing that
F
Bb
Somewhere out there in this crazy
F
ol' mixed-up universe of ours
Bb
F
Bb
There's still a little place called
Chorus 5
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Eb
Bb
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque,
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque,
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque,
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque
Bridge 1
F
Bb
F
Bb
I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U)
F
Bb
F
Bb
"Querque" (querque)
Outro 1
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Bb
F
Albu- querque
Autoscroll20%
More songs by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Discover chords for more songs to play
Popular chords globally
Most played chords & tabs across all users
Recently added
Recently added chords & tabs
Frequently asked questions
The original key of Albuquerque by "Weird Al" Yankovic is F major.
The primary chords used in Albuquerque are F, Bb, Eb, Db.
To play in the original key, place your capo on the 1 fret.
Yes, this version uses open chords like F, Bb, Eb, Db, making it a great song for beginner guitarists.
If the simplified chords are too easy, you can visit the original chords page for a more advanced arrangement.
The tempo of Albuquerque is approximately 187 beats per minute.
You can easily change the key of Albuquerque using our Transpose button located in the toolbar. This will automatically update all chord diagrams on the page to match your new key.
Yes! Click the Print icon to generate a clean, one-page version of the chords and lyrics for Albuquerque. This is perfect for practicing offline or adding to a physical songbook.
Yes, we have integrated a Mini-Tuner directly on this page. Use it to quickly check your string pitch (Standard Tuning: E A D G B E) before you start playing along with "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Absolutely. Click the Save or Heart icon to add Albuquerque to your account. You can access all your saved songs under My Library at any time.
You can view the full chord sheet and lyrics for Albuquerque by "Weird Al" Yankovic on this page for free. We provide high-quality, verified chords to help you start playing immediately.