Albuquerque chords by "Weird Al" Yankovic
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Intro 1
(F major) (B flat major) (F major) (B flat major)
Verse 1
(F major) Way back when I was just a
(B flat major) little bitty boy
Living in a (F major) box under the stairs
In the (B flat major) corner of the basement of the house
(F major) Half a block down the street
from (B flat major) Jerry's Bait shop
(F major) You know the place
(B flat major) Well anyway, back then life was (F major) going swell
and everything was (B flat major) just (F major) peachy!
Ex (B flat major) cept, of course, for the undeniable (F major) fact,
that every single morn (B flat major) ing
My mother would (F major) make me a big ol' bowl (B flat major)
of sauerkraut for (F major) breakfast
(B flat major) Aww!
(F major) Big bowl of sauerkraut
(B flat major) (F major) Every single morning
It was (B flat major) driving me crazy
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Verse 2
I (F major) said to my mom
I said "Hey, (B flat major) mom,
what's up with all the (F major) sauerkraut?"
And my (B flat major) dear, sweet mother
She just (F major) looked at me
like a cow (B flat major) looks at an oncoming train
(F major) And she leaned (B flat major) right down next to me
(F major) And she said (B flat major) "It's (F major) good for you!!"
(B flat major) And then she (F major) tied me to the wall
and stuck a (B flat major) funnel in my mouth
And force (F major) fed me nothing but sauer (B flat major) kraut
Verse 3
Until I was twenty six and a (F major) half years old
(B flat major) That's when I swore that (F major) someday
Someday I would (B flat major) get outta that basement
and (F major) travel to a magical, (B flat major) far away place
Where the (F major) sun is always shining
and the (B flat major) air smells like warm root beer
(F major) And the towels are oh so (B flat major) fluffy
Where the (F major) Shriners and the lepers
play their (B flat major) ukuleles all day long
And (F major) anyone on the street will gladly
(B flat major) shave your back for a (F major) nickel
(B flat major) Wacka wacka doo-doo (F major) yeah
Verse 4
Well, let me tell you, people,
it (B flat major) wasn't long at all
before my (F major) dream came true
(B flat major) Because the very next day,
a (F major) local radio station had this (B flat major) contest
To see who could cor (F major) rectly guess the number
of mole (B flat major) cules in Leonard Nimoy's (F major) butt
I was (B flat major) off by three,
but I still (F major) won the grand prize
(B flat major) That's right, a (F major) first class one-way (B flat major) ticket to
Chorus 1
(F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Alba quer (F major) que (B flat major)
(F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Alba quer (F major) que
(B flat major) Oh yeah
Verse 5
(F major) You know, I've never been
on a (B flat major) real airplane before
And I (F major) gotta tell ya, it was really (B flat major) great
Ex (F major) cept that I had to sit
between two (B flat major) large Albanian women
With ex (F major) cruciatingly severe (B flat major) body odor
And the (F major) little kid in back of me
kept (B flat major) throwin' up the whole time
(F major) The flight attendants ran out of (B flat major) Dr. Pepper
and salted peanuts (F major)
And the in-flight movie was
(B flat major) Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore (F major)
And, oh yeah,
three of the airplane (B flat major) engines burned out
And we (F major) went into a tailspin
and (B flat major) crashed into a hillside
And the (F major) plane exploded in a (B flat major) giant fireball
(F major) everybody died
(B flat major) Except for (F major) me
You know why? (B flat major)
Chorus 2
'Cause I (F major) had my tray table up (B flat major)
And my (F major) seat back in the full up (B flat major) right position
Had my (F major) tray table up (B flat major)
And my (F major) seat back in the full up (B flat major) right position
Had my (F major) tray table up (B flat major)
And my (F major) seat back in the full up (B flat major) right position
(F major) Ah ha ha ha (B flat major)
Ah ha ha (F major)
Ah (B flat major)
Verse 6
So I (F major) crawled from the twisted,
burnin' (B flat major) wreckage
I (F major) crawled on my hands and knees
(B flat major) for three full days (F major)
(B flat major) Draggin' along my big (F major) leather suitcase
and my (B flat major) garment bag
And my (F major) tenor saxophone
and my (B flat major) twelve-pound bowling ball
And my (F major) lucky, lucky autographed
(B flat major) glow-in-the-dark snorkel (F major)
But (B flat major) finally I arrived at the (F major) world famous
(B flat major) Albuquerque Holiday (F major) Inn
Where the towels are oh so (B flat major) fluffy
And you can (F major) eat your soup
right out of the ash (B flat major) trays if you wanna
(F major) It's OK, they're clean (B flat major)
Well, I checked (F major) into my room
and I turned (B flat major) down the A C
And I (F major) turned on the SpectraVision
And (B flat major) I'm just about to eat
that little (F major) chocolate mint on my pillow
That I (B flat major) love so very, very much
Verse 7
(F major) When suddenly, there's a (B flat major) knock on the door
(F major) Well now, who could that (B flat major) be?
I say "Who (F major) is it?"
No an (B flat major) swer
"Who is (F major) it?"
There's no an (B flat major) swer
"Who is (F major) it?"
They're not (B flat major) sayin' anything
So, (F major) finally I go over and I (B flat major) open the door
and (F major) just as I suspected
(B flat major) It's some big fat her (F major) maphrodite
with a Flock-Of- (B flat major) Seagulls haircut
and on (F major) ly one nostril
(B flat major) Oh man, I (F major) hate it when I'm right
(B flat major) So anyway, he (F major) bursts into my room
and he (B flat major) grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm (F major) like "Hey, you can't have (B flat major) that"
"That snorkel's (F major) been just like a (B flat major) snorkel to me"
And he's like (F major) "Tough"
And I'm like (B flat major) "Give it"
And he's like (F major) "Make me"
And I'm like (B flat major) "'Kay"
So I (F major) grabbed his leg
and he grabbed (B flat major) my esophagus
And I (F major) bit off his ear
and he (B flat major) chewed off my eyebrows
And I (F major) took out his appendix
and he gave (B flat major) me a colonic irri
Verse 8
(F major) (gation)
Yes indeed, you better be (B flat major) lieve it
And (F major) somehow in the middle of it all,
(B flat major) the phone got knocked off (F major) the hook
And twenty (B flat major) seconds later,
I heard a fa (F major) miliar voice
And (B flat major) you know what it said?
(F major) I'll tell you what it said (B flat major)
It said
Chorus 3
"If you'd (F major) like to make a call, (B flat major)
please hang (F major) up and try again"
(B flat major) "If (F major) you need help, hang up
(B flat major) and then dial your (F major) opera (B flat major) tor"
"If you'd (F major) like to make a call, (B flat major)
please hang (F major) up and try again" (B flat major)
"If (F major) you need help, hang up (B flat major)
and then dial your (F major) opera (B flat major) tor"
In (F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Albu quer (F major) que (B flat major)
(F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Albu quer (F major) que (B flat major)
Verse 9
Well, to (F major) cut a long story short,
he (B flat major) got away with my snorkel (F major)
But I made a solemn (B flat major) vow right then and there
that (F major) I would not rest
(B flat major) I would not sleep for an instant (F major) until
the one-nostrilled (B flat major) man was brought to justice
(F major) But first, I decided to (B flat major) buy some donuts
So I (F major) got in my car and I drove
(B flat major) over to the donuts shop
And I (F major) walked on up
to the guy be (B flat major) hind the counter
And he says
(F major) "Yeah, what do ya (B flat major) want?"
(F major) (B flat major)
Verse 10
I said "You (F major) got any glazed donuts?"
(B flat major) He said (F major) "No, we're outta glazed (B flat major) donuts"
I said "Well, (F major) you got any jelly do (B flat major) nuts?"
He said (F major) "No, we're outta jelly (B flat major) donuts"
I said "You (F major) got any
Bavarian cream- (B flat major) filled donuts?"
He (F major) said "No, we're outta
Bavarian (B flat major) cream-filled donuts"
(F major) I said "You got any cinna (B flat major) mon rolls?"
He said (F major) "No, we're outta (B flat major) cinnamon rolls"
I said (F major) "You got any apple frit (B flat major) ters?"
He said (F major) "No, we're outta apple (B flat major) fritters"
I said (F major) "You got any bear (B flat major) claws?"
Solo 1
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
(F major) (B flat major) (F major) (B flat major) (F major) (B flat major)
(F major) "No, we're outta bear claws"
Verse 11
(F major) I said "Well, in that case, (B flat major)
(F major) in that case, what (B flat major) do you have?"
(F major) He says "All I got right (B flat major) now is this box
of one (F major) dozen starving, crazed (B flat major) weasels"
(F major) I said "O (B flat major) K, I'll take that"
So he (F major) hands me the box
and I open (B flat major) up the lid
and the weasels (F major) jump out
And they im (B flat major) mediately latch onto my face
Verse 12
(F major) And start bitin' me all o (B flat major) ver
(F major) Oh man, (B flat major) they were just going nuts
(F major) They were tearin' me apart (B flat major)
You know, I (F major) think it was just about that time
(B flat major) That a little ditty started
(F major) goin' through my head
(B flat major) I believe it went
a (F major) little something like this (B flat major)
(F major) Doh
Get 'em off (B flat major) me
Get 'em off me
Oh
(F major) No, get 'em off, get 'em (B flat major) off
Oh, oh God, oh God (F major) Oh, get 'em off (B flat major) me
Oh, oh (F major) God
Ah, (B flat major) aah, aah
Verse 13
(F major) I ran out into the street (B flat major) with these
flesh-eating weasels (F major) all over my face
Wa (B flat major) vin' my arms all around
and just (F major) runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a (B flat major) constipated wiener (F major) dog
And as luck (B flat major) would have it
That's ex (F major) actly when I ran
into the (B flat major) girl of my dreams
(F major) Her name was (B flat major) Zelda
She was a cal (F major) ligraphy enthusi (B flat major) ast
With a slight overbite and
(F major) hair the color of strained (B flat major) peaches
(F major) I'll never forget the very first
(B flat major) thing she said to me
(F major) She said "Hey,
(B flat major) you've got weasels on your face"
(F major) That's when I knew it was (B flat major) true love
We (F major) were inseparable after that (B flat major)
Aw, we (F major) ate together, we (B flat major) bathed together
We even (F major) shared the same piece
of mint- (B flat major) flavored dental floss
(F major) The world was our bur (B flat major) rito
So (F major) we got married and we (B flat major) bought us a house
And had (F major) two beautiful children,
Na (B flat major) thaniel and Superfly
(F major) Oh, we were so (B flat major) very very
very (F major) happy, aw (B flat major) yeah
Verse 14
But then (F major) one fateful night,
(B flat major) Zelda said to me
(F major) She said "Sweetie (B flat major) pumpkin?
Do (F major) you wanna join
the Co (B flat major) lumbia Record Club?"
(F major) (B flat major) I said (F major) "Whoa, hold (B flat major) on now, baby"
"I'm (F major) just not ready
for that kind (B flat major) of a commitment"
So (F major) we broke up and I never (B flat major) saw her again
But that's (F major) just the way things go (B flat major)
Chorus 4
In (F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Albu quer (F major) que (B flat major)
(F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Albu quer (F major) que (B flat major)
Solo 2
(F major) (B flat major) (F major) (B flat major)
(F major) (B flat major) (F major) (B flat major)
Verse 15
(F major) Anyway, things really
(B flat major) started lookin' up for me
Because a (F major) bout a week later,
I (B flat major) finally achieved my lifelong (F major) dream
(B flat major) That's right, I got me
a (F major) part-time job at The Sizzler (B flat major)
I even made em (F major) ployee of the month after
I (B flat major) put out that grease fire out with my (F major) face
Aw yeah, (B flat major) everybody was pretty
jealous of me (F major) after that
I was gettin' a (B flat major) lot of attitude
(F major) Ok, like one time,
I was (B flat major) out in the parking lot
Try (F major) in' to remove my excess
earwax (B flat major) with a golf pencil
(F major) When I see this guy Marty
Tryin' to (B flat major) carry a big ol' so (F major) fa
up the stairs all by himself (B flat major)
So I, I say to him, I (F major) say
"Hey, you want me to (B flat major) help you with that?"
And (F major) Marty, he just rolls (B flat major) his eyes and goes
(F major) "No, I want you to (B flat major) cut off my arms
and (F major) legs with a chainsaw" (B flat major)
Verse 16
So I did
(F major) And then he gets all in (B flat major) dignant on me
He's like (F major) "Hey man, I was just being sar (B flat major) castic"
Well, (F major) that's just great
How was (B flat major) I supposed to know that?
(F major) I'm not a mind reader for (B flat major) cryin' out loud
Be (F major) sides, now he's got a really cute (B flat major) nickname,
Torso- (F major) Boy
So what's he complaining a (B flat major) bout?
(F major) Say, that reminds me
of an (B flat major) other amusing anecdote
(F major) This guy comes up to me (B flat major) on the street
And he tells he (F major) hasn't had a bite in (B flat major) three days
Well, (F major) I knew what he meant
But (B flat major) just to be funny,
I (F major) took a big bite out of his (B flat major) jugular vein
And he's (F major) yellin' and screamin'
and (B flat major) bleeding all over
And I'm like (F major) "Hey, come on, don't you (B flat major) get it?"
But he just keeps (F major) rolling around
on the sidewalk, (B flat major) bleeding, and screaming
(F major) (B flat major)
Verse 17
You know, com (F major) pletely missing
the irony of the (B flat major) whole situation
(F major) Man, some people just can't (B flat major) take a joke,
you know?
(F major) Anyway, (B flat major) (F major) (B flat major) where was I?
(F major) Kinda lost my (B flat major) train of thought
(F major) Uh, (B flat major) well, uh, OK
Anyway I, (F major) know it's kinda been
a roundabout way (B flat major) of saying it
But (F major) I guess the whole point
I'm (B flat major) tryin' to make here is
I (F major) hate (B flat major) (F major) sauerkraut
That's all I'm (B flat major) really tryin' to say
And, (F major) by the way, if one day
you happen to (B flat major) wake up
And find yourself in an (F major) existential quanda (B flat major) ry
Full of loathing and (F major) self-doubt
And wracked (B flat major) with the pain and isolation
(F major) of your pitiful meaningless e (B flat major) xistence
At (F major) least you can take
a small bit of (B flat major) comfort in knowing that
(F major) Somewhere out there in this cra (B flat major) zy
ol' mixed-up uni (F major) verse of ours
(B flat major) There's (F major) still a little place (B flat major) called
Chorus 5
(F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Albu quer (F major) que (B flat major)
(F major) A- (E flat major) a- (B flat major) a- (D flat major) Albu quer (F major) que (B flat major)
Albaquer (F major) que, Albaquer (B flat major) que,
Albaquer (F major) que, Albaquer (B flat major) que,
Albaquer (F major) que, Albaquer (B flat major) que,
Albaquer (F major) que, Albaquer (B flat major) que
Bridge 1
I said (F major) "A" (A) (B flat major) "L" (L) (F major) "B" (B) (B flat major) "U" (U)
(F major) (B flat major) (F major) "Querque" (B flat major) (querque)
Outro 1
(B flat major) (F major) (B flat major) (F major)
(B flat major) (F major) (B flat major) (F major)
(B flat major) Albuquerque, (F major) Albuquerque,
(B flat major) Albuquerque, (F major) Albuquerque
(B flat major) Albuquerque, (F major) Albuquerque,
(B flat major) Albuquerque, (F major) Albuquerque
(B flat major) Albuquerque, (F major) Albuquerque,
(B flat major) Albuquerque, (F major) Albuquerque
(B flat major) Albu- (F major) querque
Albuquerque
"Weird Al" Yankovic
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