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vasectomy song chords by
John Williamson
John Williamson
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N/A•
Key: F major•
Intro 1
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Verse 1
D
D

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It's just a
G
G

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modern world we live in,
D
D

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A
A

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but why do they pick on me
D
D

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Why just the other week

my missus had the cheek
E
E

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A
A

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to talk me into a va- sec- tom- y
D
D

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At first it never clicked that

I was gettin' nicked,

I thought it was to test virility
A
A

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D
D

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Than after I went through it,

ten days we couldn't do it
E
E

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and then the doctor said to
A
A

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Bm
Bm
2

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A
A

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me
Verse 2

(I couldn't believe it folks - He said)
D
D

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please blow into this
Verse 3
D
D

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bag,
G
G

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please sir (What?)
D
D

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A
A

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to test your capability

(I beg your pardon?)
D
D

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G
G

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we're cutting down on accidents

(I said are you fair dinkum He said )
D
D

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A
A

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D
D

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please blow into this bag and we'll see
Verse 4
D
D

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Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know

what they say about doctors orders.

So he gave me the little bag and ushered me

into the little room with all the pin- ups.

Grubby little room it was, too,

and I came back with my little bag

And the doctor was quite satisfied,
E
E

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D
D

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an d so was I
Verse 5
D
D

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G
G

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It's just a modern world we live in,
D
D

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A
A

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there's new fangled things every day
D
D

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The cop said I was speedin',
G
G

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D
D

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accordin' to his readin'
E
E

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A
A

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But I was three kilometres away
D
D

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I was feelin' pretty mad

when he took out his pad,
A
A

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I tried to stay as calm as I could be
D
D

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He found a baldy tread,
G
G

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Bm
Bm
2

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D
D

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he saw my eyes were red
E
E

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A
A

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Bm
Bm
2

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And then he said this strange thing to me
A
A

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D
D

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E
E

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A
A

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(I said what again? He said )
D
D

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please blow into this
Verse 6
D
D

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bag,
G
G

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please sir (I said hang on)
D
D

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A
A

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to test your capability (What?)
D
D

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G
G

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we're cutting down on accidents

(I said are you fair dinkum? He said )
D
D

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A
A

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D
D

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please blow into this bag and we'll see
Verse 7
D
D

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Well this time I really was shaken up,

the cop could see I was a bit excited

He said well you better take a

good grip on yourself son.

So I went around behind a big gum tree

and came back with my little bag.

Well you can imagine what

happened
Verse 8
D
D

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{Verse}
G
G

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It's just a modern world we live in,
D
D

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A
A

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I'm feelin' very sad and pale
D
D

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The judge said I was sick and
G
G

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D
D

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threw me in the nick
E
E

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A
A

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And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail
D
D

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G
G

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So take it from a fool like me,
D
D

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A
A

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beware of quacks and boys in blue
D
D

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I'm feelin' pretty bruised so
G
G

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D
D

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don't you get confused
E
E

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A
A

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I'd catch a train if I was you-

ou (All together now )
Verse 9
D
D

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G
G

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please blow into this bag, please sir
D
D

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A
A

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Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine
D
D

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G
G

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Please blow into this bag, please sir
D
D

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A
A

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G
G

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D
D

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If the women don't get you, it's the wine
Outro 1


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An acoustic guitar head with tuning pegs

Tuning:Standard Open Tuner
Chords

  • D

  • G

  • A

  • E

  • Bm

    2

Capo: 3

Transpose: 0

0

Autoscroll20%

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Frequently asked questions

The original key of vasectomy song by John Williamson is F major.

The primary chords used in vasectomy song are F, Bb, C, G, Dm.

To play in the original key, place your capo on the 3 fret.

Yes, this version uses open chords like F, Bb, C, G, making it a great song for beginner guitarists.

The tempo of vasectomy song is approximately 118 beats per minute.

You can easily change the key of vasectomy song using our Transpose button located in the toolbar. This will automatically update all chord diagrams on the page to match your new key.

Yes! Click the Print icon to generate a clean, one-page version of the chords and lyrics for vasectomy song. This is perfect for practicing offline or adding to a physical songbook.

Yes, we have integrated a Mini-Tuner directly on this page. Use it to quickly check your string pitch (Standard Tuning: E A D G B E) before you start playing along with John Williamson.

Absolutely. Click the Save or Heart icon to add vasectomy song to your account. You can access all your saved songs under My Library at any time.

You can view the full chord sheet and lyrics for vasectomy song by John Williamson on this page for free. We provide high-quality, verified chords to help you start playing immediately.