vasectomy song chords by John Williamson

SimplifiedD · G · A · E · Bm

GuitarPianoUkulele

Intro 1

Verse 1
D 
It's  (D major) just a
G 
modern world we  (G major) live in,
D 
A 
but  (D major) why do they pick on me  (A major) 
D 
Why  (D major) just the other week
my missus had the cheek
E 
A 
to  (E major) talk me into a va- sec- tom-  (A major) y
D 
At  (D major) first it never clicked that
I was gettin' nicked,
I thought it was to test virility
A 
D 
 (A major) Than  (D major) after I went through it,
ten days we couldn't do it
E 
and  (E major) then the doctor said to
A 
Bm 
A 
 (A major) me  (B minor)  (A major) 

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Verse 2

(I couldn't believe it folks - He said)

please blow into this

Verse 3
D 
 (D major) bag,
G 
please  (G major) sir (What?)
D 
A 
to  (D major) test your capability  (A major) 
(I beg your pardon?)
D 
G 
we're  (D major) cutting down on accident (G major) s
(I said are you fair dinkum He said )
D 
A 
D 
please  (D major) blow into this  (A major) bag and we'll see  (D major) 

Verse 4
D 
Well  (D major) - I couldn't believe it at first but you know
what they say about doctors orders.
So he gave me the little bag and ushered me
into the little room with all the pin- ups.
Grubby little room it was, too,
and I came back with my little bag
And the doctor was quite satisfied,
E 
D 
 (E major) an d so was I  (D major) 

Verse 5
D 
G 
It's  (D major) just a modern world we  (G major) live in,
D 
A 
there's  (D major) new fangled things every  (A major) day
D 
The  (D major) cop said I was speedin',
G 
D 
ac (G major) cordin' to his  (D major) readin'
E 
A 
But I  (E major) was three kilometres away  (A major) 
D 
I was  (D major) feelin' pretty mad
when he took out his pad,
A 
I tried to stay as calm as I could  (A major) be
D 
He  (D major) found a baldy tread,
G 
Bm 
D 
he  (G major) saw my  (B minor) eyes were  (D major) red
E 
A 
Bm 
And  (E major) then he said this strange thing to  (A major) me  (B minor) 
A 
D 
E 
A 
 (A major) (I said what again?  (D major)  (E major)  (A major) He said )
D 
please  (D major) blow into this

Verse 6
D 
 (D major) bag,
G 
please  (G major) sir (I said hang on)
D 
A 
to  (D major) test your capability  (A major) (What?)
D 
G 
we're  (D major) cutting down on accident (G major) s
(I said are you fair dinkum? He said )
D 
A 
D 
please  (D major) blow into this  (A major) bag and we'll see  (D major) 

Verse 7
D 
Well  (D major) this time I really was shaken up,
the cop could see I was a bit excited
He said well you better take a
good grip on yourself son.
So I went around behind a big gum tree
and came back with my little bag.
Well you can imagine what
happened

Verse 8
D 
{Verse}  (D major) 
G 
It's just a modern world we  (G major) live in,
D 
A 
I'm  (D major) feelin' very sad and pale  (A major) 
D 
The  (D major) judge said I was sick and
G 
D 
 (G major) threw me in the  (D major) nick
E 
A 
And  (E major) missus said she wouldn't pay the  (A major) bail
D 
G 
So  (D major) take it from a fool like  (G major) me,
D 
A 
be (D major) ware of quacks and boys in  (A major) blue
D 
I'm  (D major) feelin' pretty bruised so
G 
D 
 (G major) don't you get con (D major) fused
E 
A 
I'd  (E major) catch a train if I was  (A major) you-
ou (All together now )