Three Point One Four original guitar chords by
Bloodhound Gang

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Key: D major•

Intro 1
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Chorus 1
D D 
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My last girlfriend didn't like me
thought she might be
Most likely a dyke
A A 
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she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was all right
She was hotter than the sun
but she just wasn't that bright
Bm7 Bm7 2
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My mistake, she was more flaky
than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin
would have been much better company
A A 
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Ass like a donkey acting funky
gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker
than a batch of Sea Monkeys
D D 
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Early bird gets the worm
spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest
peanut in the turd
A A 
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I'm white which goes with everything
but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl
that reminds me of my mother
B7 B7 
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But it's hard to find a girl with a viper
tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know
that can play the harmonica
with their pussies?
A A 
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Like em' easy and hot and sweet
like a Rice Krispie Treat
Gee, you know what I really want in a girl?

Chorus 2
Me
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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I need to find a   new vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Any kind of  new vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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It's hard to rhyme a   word like vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Calvin Klein? Kind of... North Carolina?

Interlude 1

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Chorus 3
D D 
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Women are like dog doo
hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are
the easier they get to pick up
A A 
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I'd fill the generation gap
clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out
than be put out to the pasture
Bm Bm 2
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No age just ain't a gauge
I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free
American singles only
A A 
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I want my next chick anorexic
the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass
out to a fancy dinner
D D 
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Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up
I can put up with her crap
A A 
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Let her lash out and crack the whip
but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down
with a girl that wants me tied up
B7 B7 
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Just independent like NOFX smart
like Janeane Garofalo
She'd use big words to make fun of me
so that i would never know
A A 
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Bestow upon me all her wisdom
of the Dewey Decimal System
Gee, you know what I really want in a girl?

Chorus 4
Me
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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I need to find a   new vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Any kind of  new vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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It's hard to rhyme a   word like vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Calvin Klein? Kind of... South Carolina?

Interlude 2

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Outro 1
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Vagina, vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Vagina, vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Vagina, vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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Vagina, vagina
D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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D D 
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A A 
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Bm Bm 2
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A7 A7 
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[Repeat and fade]

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TunerE A D G B E

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ChordsD A Bm A7 Bm7...

D
A
Bm
A7
Bm7
B7
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Chords

D
A
Bm
A7
Bm7
B7
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Three Point One Four original guitar chords by Bloodhound Gang Save Print

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Three Point One Four original guitar chords by
Bloodhound Gang