Three Point One Four chords by Bloodhound Gang

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Intro 1
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 

Chorus 1
D 
My  (D major) last girlfriend didn't like me
thought she might be
Most likely a dyke
A 
she just didn't ex (A major) cite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was all right
She was hotter than the sun
but she just wasn't that bright
Bm 
My mis (B minor) take, she was more flaky
than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin
would have been much better company
A 
Ass like a  (A major) donkey acting funky
gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker
than a batch of Sea Monkeys
D 
Early  (D major) bird gets the worm
spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest
peanut in the turd
A 
I'm  (A major) white which goes with everything
but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl
that reminds me of my mother
B 
But it's  (B major) hard to find a girl with a viper
tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know
that can play the harmonica
with their pussies?
A 
Like em'  (A major) easy and hot and sweet
like a Rice Krispie Treat
Gee, you know what I really want in a girl?

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Chorus 2

I need to find a new vagina

Any kind of new vagina

It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina

Calvin Klein? Kind of... North Carolina?

Interlude 1

Chorus 3
D 
 (D major) Women are like dog doo
hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are
the easier they get to pick up
A 
I'd fill the  (A major) generation gap
clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out
than be put out to the pasture
Bm 
No  (B minor) age just ain't a gauge
I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free
American singles only
A 
I want my  (A major) next chick anorexic
the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass
out to a fancy dinner
D 
Like  (D major) Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up
I can put up with her crap
A 
Let her lash  (A major) out and crack the whip
but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down
with a girl that wants me tied up
B 
Just inde (B major) pendent like NOFX smart
like Janeane Garofalo
She'd use big words to make fun of me
so that i would never know
A 
Bestow up (A major) on me all her wisdom
of the Dewey Decimal System
Gee, you know what I really want in a girl?

Chorus 4
Me
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) I need to  (A major) find a  (B minor) new va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) Any  (A major) kind of  (B minor) new va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) It's hard to  (A major) rhyme a  (B minor) word like va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) Calvin Klein?  (A major) Kind of...  (B minor) South Caro (A major) lina?

Interlude 2

Outro 1
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) Va (A major) gina,  (B minor) va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) Va (A major) gina,  (B minor) va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) Va (A major) gina,  (B minor) va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major) Va (A major) gina,  (B minor) va (A major) gina
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) 
D 
A 
Bm 
A 
 (D major)  (A major)  (B minor)  (A major) [Repeat and fade]