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The Buffoon And The Valedictorian chords by 
Adam Sandler
N/A•
Verse 1
D
Performed by Adam Sandler and Jennifer Lien "And now the buf
Em
D
E
foon's date at the drive- in with the school's valedictorian."
Em
B
Va ledictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most
E
Em
people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."
E
Buffoon: "This movie sucks shit!"
Valedictorian: "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,
A
Em
but Ciscel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."
Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big
E
fuckin' tits!"
Em
E
Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"
Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth
D
and blew his fuckin' head off."
B
E
Valedictorian: "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adoles
A
E
cents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."
Em
E
Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us,
she gives everybody head."
D
E
Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention
D
and she feels promiscuity is the only way to ob tain it."
E
(Buffoon eating popcorn)
Buffoon: "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like
someone jizzed all over it."
(Buffoon continues to eat popcorn)
Valedictorian: "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment
stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."
D
Buffoon: "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today.
It blew my fuckin' mind!"
Em
E
Valedictorian: "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and unusu
al because you don't see them on a day to day basis.
Em
D
Buffoon: "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom
E
all fuckin' day!"
D
E
A
Valedictorian: "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's.
D
Em
E
I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism."
B
Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from
D
that fuckin' girl."
E
(Gets out of the car)
Valedictorian: "Well, I'm sorry to see the
date come to such an abrubt conclusion."
(Buffoon walking away)
D
"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward
Em
D
to a future rondevue."
Buffoon: "I like to piss in that
D
guy's fuckin' gas tank!"
Em
E
C#m
Valedictorian: "Bye bye! Have fun."
E
G
(Buffoon continues to walk away)
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