The Avon Lady chords by Drive-By Truckers

SimplifiedD · B · Ebm · Em · F#m …

GuitarPianoUkulele

D
B
Ebm
Em
F#m
C#sus4
A
Asus4
G

Verse 1
Hey, Avon.
D 
B 
Ebm 
Em 
Avon, ladies and
D 
This is a major 7 chord.
What key is it in? I
don't know.
We can go into butt -off a
little bit.
But it doesn't need
to anything like butt -off.
I'm going to tell you Avon,
ladies and gentlemen.
Avon, ladies and
It's got to be sleazy.
Yeah, sleazy.
F#m 
Sleazy as hell, man.
C#sus4 
I mean, 1971,
F#m 
D 
this  woman drove a 1970 Impala.
F#m 
It's got to be sexy too, right?
D 
Impala blue, sexy.
F#m 
D 
Em 
No, she was nothing sexy.
A 
D 
Yeah.
Em 
Yeah.
Asus4 
A 
Yeah.
D 
Em 
A 
D 
When I was six years old,
I rode to school with the scariest
kind of woman
Em 
A 
D 
in the whole wide world she wasn't she wasn't your typical kind of femme fatale she was
Em 
A 
she was much scarier than any of that she was she was an Avon lady and I would
D 
I would get to her house
she lived in the house up the hill
from my house over
were looking down on my house.
I would get there,
Em 
and she'd have all them nice little decanters
and bottles of perfume
A 
spread out all over the kitchen
D 
table with the dirty dishes.
And she would try to sell it to me.
Em 
She would say, you know,
if you were to buy your mama
A 
this glass unicorn full of this
sweet smelling Avon perfume,
D 
your mama would know
how much you love her
and I was six years old
but I didn't have any money
Em 
and I said I said but mrs. Belcher
A 
I don't have any money mrs. Belcher
with her red bouffant
G 
D 
standing up to about here looked down at me and she said you don't
Em 
have your lunchbox with you did your mother send you off
without anything to eat
A 
I said no mrs. Belcher
Em 
I've got my lunch money
D 
A 
G 
D 
and she said this unicorn could be yours
and it would show your mama
Em 
how much you love her.
So I gave Miss Belcher my lunch money
A 
and  I took my mama
G 
that unicorn down to Friday
D 
and my mama knew I loved her
and the next week
I took her a glass eight ball,
Em 
not the kind she liked but but
A 
this one had perfume in it
and and I gave it to her
D 
and she knew how much I loved her
and the next week the next week
Em 
it was a goldfish glass goldfish full of
A 
golden sweet smelling Avon perfume
D 
I gave it to my mama
Em 
D 
then about three days later
the school called they said mrs. Hood
your son has been starving
Em 
he's been falling asleep in class
he's looking rather malnourished
A 
are you some kind of an abusive parent
do we need to see about
D 
this and my mama
she was all hysterical crying because
she thought I'd spent my lunch money on drugs
Em 
I said mama I'm only
in first grade you know
A 
and that's how I gave you
these Avon decanters
D 
A 
that showed you how much I loved you so my Mama,
D 
she called, Mrs. Belcher up,
A 
Em 
and she cussed her out.
But the next Monday morning,
A 
I was right there, riding to school with her,
D 
A 
D 
and she was pissed off.
We break into this one.